lindsay1990 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 This has happened to me every time too. I wish this was my case. I find it more discouraging and humiliating that I've driven them away aaaaaall by myself. My last ex even said he didn't even want to be in a relationship for at least five years after what had happened, ha. THIS is pathetic.
Author napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 I have no idea how those heartbreakers ALWAYS have someone new quick, fast, in a hurry and dumpees stay single. I know I'm struggling right now and my ex just got married. Its SO unfair. I hope their relationship falls completely apart. I hate them! WOW similar to my ex but he's just been with his new partner for a year. He told me he never wanted to get married but was engaged to me. But I got a feeling he will get married eventually.
Sugarkane Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I wish this was my case. I find it more discouraging and humiliating that I've driven them away aaaaaall by myself. My last ex even said he didn't even want to be in a relationship for at least five years after what had happened, ha. THIS is pathetic. It takes two to tango. They probably weren't perfect themselves. 2
melell Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 More like years of life experience and observation from relationships (mine and others), rather than an assumption. If you don't want to believe that, you are being extremely naive. I am sorry, your statement seemed to be rather heavy is all. In my years of life experience and observation from relationships (mine and others), I have seen dumpers cut up, and enjoying being single, only one have I seen enter a new relationship/having one lined up- that person was a cheater. If you don't want to believe circumstances other than your own/ones you have witnessed, are equally plausible, then you are being extremely naive.
reddragon588 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Lets not forget that we have the internet. That new person is only clicks away. Nowadays we should expect that the dumper has someone else lined up or at least will be dating days or weeks after giving you the heavo ho. Every guy who has dumped me had someone else lined up. The worst ones will butter you up then quickly leave when they feel secure with the new person. I mean days after telling you how wonderful you are. Its pathetic, really. I guess it's confirmation bias. Like lindsay, most of my exes have not moved on to someone new immediately and rather have moved on to simply be single. But like I said, regardless of the reason (new person, commitment-phobe) they all have the common theme of the dumper already have been in the process of preparing themselves for the breakup. 1
Nicoleiia Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 WOW similar to my ex but he's just been with his new partner for a year. He told me he never wanted to get married but was engaged to me. But I got a feeling he will get married eventually. Wow, and my ex wanted to marry me and of course didn't, but married her! They are having a grand ole time and I'm here on Loveshack!!!! (Nothing wrong with LS, I actually really like this website) but still. I'm still pathetic and my ex is having a great life. Woe is me!!
travelonic Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Because they have moved on and we, the dumpees, are still stuck in the past. I'm gonna, albeit respectfully, call bs on this. I can think of many circumstances where they gave the outward appearance of that being the case - them moving on - but internally they haven't, which could pose issues later on for them.
Never Again Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I'm gonna, albeit respectfully, call bs on this. I can think of many circumstances where they gave the outward appearance of that being the case - them moving on - but internally they haven't, which could pose issues later on for them. Perhaps. But, as was said earlier in this thread, dumpers have usually been considering their decision for some time before the breakup. Oftentimes, they have the opportunity to grieve and justify before they even do the damage. My ex had a "weird feeling" for about three weeks before the breakup. Never said anything to me, and never tried to fix it. We were both under a lot of stress at the time from work, so I chalked it up to that...until I was dropped because of the old "I love you but I'm not IN love with you anymore" line. She was devastated when she did it, but felt better after a week because she had been fretting over it for so long. Meanwhile, I spent 2 months wracking my brain about what I could've done differently.
travelonic Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Perhaps. But, as was said earlier in this thread, dumpers have usually been considering their decision for some time before the breakup. But - at least it seems to me - contemplating doing doing that to the dumpee/relationship, and actually moving on [or even APPEARING to, or even NOT actually moving on] from the dumpee/relationship, are not the same thing in the slightest.
Never Again Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 But - at least it seems to me - contemplating doing doing that to the dumpee/relationship, and actually moving on [or even APPEARING to, or even NOT actually moving on] from the dumpee/relationship, are not the same thing in the slightest. You're 100% right, they aren't the same thing. But knowing in advance does give them the opportunity to emotionally disconnect, justify their decision as being "for the best", or beginning the grieving process early on. Some don't, some do. I'm sure it depends on the reasons for the breakup.
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