napy666 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Why is it that our ex's always find new partners but we're always left alone unable to find someone new? 4
StyleOnEm Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Usually the reason your ex breaks up with you in the first place is because they are already talking to someone else. 4
Author napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Me and my ex broke up we were both single and alone I meant as in evenutally finding someone why do our exs find partners while we always have trouble doing so.
Mariposa10 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Me and my ex broke up we were both single and alone I meant as in evenutally finding someone why do our exs find partners while we always have trouble doing so. Because they have moved on and we, the dumpees, are still stuck in the past. 1
Mariposa10 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Hahaha I guess so. But I guess it's ok to take some time... After all we don't want to end up in a rebound relationship. I know I don't.
Author napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 I've been single for 2 years so I wouldn't be in a rebound relationship haha. 1
halifaxboy Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Style...Couldn't have said it better!!
lop98 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 We both started dating new people right away. I met my current boyfriend two days after the breakup (we didn't date until much later though) and my ex met his partner a week later... calling her his girlfriend by week 2 or something... for me the process was more difficult, I felt so much remorse, repulsion, sadness, just about everything negative feeling out there, I lucked out so much in finding someone that was so patient and willing to wait until I was emotionally ready to build something with him.
Author napy666 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Hahaha thats nuts. I know my ex got a new girlfriend a month after us then another one and then his recent one of 1 year ha. While I haven't gotten any one new. I wish I had a new boyfriend but all guys want is sex.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Hahaha thats nuts. I know my ex got a new girlfriend a month after us then another one and then his recent one of 1 year ha. While I haven't gotten any one new. I wish I had a new boyfriend but all the guys that I am finding only want sex. There are GREAT ones out there, I just havent looked hard enough. Fixed that for you. 3
melell Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Because they had lined up someone else, long before the actual break up. Unfortunately. Yeah, I disagree, that is a pretty big assumption. 2
cavalier99 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 My EX dumped me for a new guy and was immediatly in a relationship. All cool though.. i met my current GF after 7 months NC. So i got to grow a ton emotionally and spiritually and was completly ready for a new RS. New girl is fantastic, younger, hotter, much thinner, and a blast to spend time with. My EX is happy in her RS but new guy doesnt rock her world like i did. She is the same girl who jumps from one RS to anther and cant be single. I came out much stronger and wiser. So i got the better end of the deal. We still talk quite a bit and im sure she would want back with me if that RS ended. I however would never go back even if i was single again. Hard core NC breaks those emotional bonds and a new RS just puts the nail in the coffin to an old RS. Cav
hotpotato Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Because they have moved on and we, the dumpees, are still stuck in the past. Not always. Dumpers can still be very fixated on dumpees. For example, picking partners that most physically approximate their dumpees, comparing the new squeeze to the old. Sometimes dumpers even do this as passive aggressive retaliation ( ask me how I know). Dumpers have new partners so fast because they were dating someone else while dating you, ie cheating. When it seemed like things could work out with the new person, they bailed. To you it seemed out of the blue, but they had been planning their escape for weeks or months. Im still not dating after several months. I could certainly if I wanted. Im not stuck in the past, I just decided working on myself was more important than dating. Dating so fast after a relationship is not good. Dumpers and dumpees can be very vulnerable. Rebound dating has caused me so many problems in the past. I say, no thanks.
hotpotato Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 We both started dating new people right away. I met my current boyfriend two days after the breakup (we didn't date until much later though) and my ex met his partner a week later... calling her his girlfriend by week 2 or something... for me the process was more difficult, I felt so much remorse, repulsion, sadness, just about everything negative feeling out there, I lucked out so much in finding someone that was so patient and willing to wait until I was emotionally ready to build something with him. They always move so fast, dont they?
StyleOnEm Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 They always move so fast, dont they? They have to fill that void somehow.
Nicoleiia Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I have no idea how those heartbreakers ALWAYS have someone new quick, fast, in a hurry and dumpees stay single. I know I'm struggling right now and my ex just got married. Its SO unfair. I hope their relationship falls completely apart. I hate them!
reddragon588 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Not every relationship ends because of cheating or having someone lined up, although you might not know it looking at these boards! It isn't really the reason for the breakup that they move on quicker. Fact of the matter, no matter what the reason (cheating, fear of commitment, whatever), the dumper has already been considering it for a while before actually doing it. So for them, the process of the breakup has already begun, and they are already much further into their recovery. So what is day 1 of the breakup for you, could be Month 3 for them. As a result, in a way, it's almost a relief for them- a burden off their shoulders. 2
hotpotato Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Not every relationship ends because of cheating or having someone lined up, although you might not know it looking at these boards! It isn't really the reason for the breakup that they move on quicker. Fact of the matter, no matter what the reason (cheating, fear of commitment, whatever), the dumper has already been considering it for a while before actually doing it. So for them, the process of the breakup has already begun, and they are already much further into their recovery. So what is day 1 of the breakup for you, could be Month 3 for them. As a result, in a way, it's almost a relief for them- a burden off their shoulders. I can agree with that. The new person just makes it easier to leave though. Its hard for anyone to go from being in a relationship to suddenly not being in one. Dumpers who leave in a huff probably dont have anyone else. Ive hard as high as 75% off dumpers have a new squeeze lined up. I dont know if thats true, but I wouldnt be surprised.
lindsay1990 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I think it's because they are convinced they can do better so, why not shop around? Us dumpees, on the other hand, still want THEM and see them as our ultimate want so perhaps consciously or subconsciously we don't bother because we "know" what we want though we can't "have" it (them). Just my .02. 3
hotpotato Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I think it's because they are convinced they can do better so, why not shop around? Us dumpees, on the other hand, still want THEM and see them as our ultimate want so perhaps consciously or subconsciously we don't bother because we "know" what we want though we can't "have" it (them). Just my .02. I think theres truth to that. Plus, for awhile its easy to idealize them way more than you should. I gets better.
hotpotato Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Lets not forget that we have the internet. That new person is only clicks away. Nowadays we should expect that the dumper has someone else lined up or at least will be dating days or weeks after giving you the heavo ho. Every guy who has dumped me had someone else lined up. The worst ones will butter you up then quickly leave when they feel secure with the new person. I mean days after telling you how wonderful you are. Its pathetic, really. 2
Mariposa10 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I'm too scared to try online dating... but I keep hearing it's the new thing, right? Of course I'm just curious there's no way I'm getting into a relationship right now. I'm barely starting to heal from the last one.
Sugarkane Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I have no idea how those heartbreakers ALWAYS have someone new quick, fast, in a hurry and dumpees stay single. I know I'm struggling right now and my ex just got married. Its SO unfair. I hope their relationship falls completely apart. I hate them! Because in my experience the dumper doesn't change and doesn't grow as a person, like dumpees do. Not most of the time.
Sugarkane Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Lets not forget that we have the internet. That new person is only clicks away. Nowadays we should expect that the dumper has someone else lined up or at least will be dating days or weeks after giving you the heavo ho. Every guy who has dumped me had someone else lined up. The worst ones will butter you up then quickly leave when they feel secure with the new person. I mean days after telling you how wonderful you are. Its pathetic, really. This has happened to me every time too.
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