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Do not go No Contact

Celsus

By Celsus
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

Posted
Posted
It saddens me that a 'supportive' website shows nothing but contempt and doom and gloom. FYI as of a few days ago we decided to give it another chance and are officially back together.

 

Now as it seems to be tradition in this forum I'm sure the naysayers will flock to call 'bull****' or try and dampen my spirits about how it 'will not last'.

 

with this thread I was trying to help. Yes, a few weeks ago she did give me mixed signals, but I kept on trying and she thanked me for not giving up.

 

Will it work out and will we have a bright future together? I don't know. Nobody does, but at least we are trying.

The biggest mistake I made while we were broken up was join this forum.

 

Good job. You people are a real class act. Little wonder it never worked out for you.

It's not doom and gloom, it's logic. At 30 and 26 you should be mature enough to have an adult conversation and be past playing these games. I wish everyone the best, don't get me wrong, but what issues here were corrected?

 

What caused the breakup to begin with? What has been done, on both ends, to remedy the issues? If you don't have the answers to these sadly it's likely to follow the same path as the issues have not been resolved.

 

"Freaking out before exam time" is not a valid reason to end a committed 2.5 year relationship... and if it is who knows what little stresses she might end the relationship for in the future.

  • Like 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

Posted
Posted
It's not doom and gloom, it's logic. At 30 and 26 you should be mature enough to have an adult conversation and be past playing these games. I wish everyone the best, don't get me wrong, but what issues here were corrected?

 

What caused the breakup to begin with? What has been done, on both ends, to remedy the issues? If you don't have the answers to these sadly it's likely to follow the same path as the issues have not been resolved.

 

"Freaking out before exam time" is not a valid reason to end a committed 2.5 year relationship... and if it is who knows what little stresses she might end the relationship for in the future.

 

THANK YOU!!!!! Some people actually understand it.

  • Like 1
barky2 Established Member

barky2

Posted
Posted
It saddens me that a 'supportive' website shows nothing but contempt and doom and gloom. FYI as of a few days ago we decided to give it another chance and are officially back together.

 

Now as it seems to be tradition in this forum I'm sure the naysayers will flock to call 'bull****' or try and dampen my spirits about how it 'will not last'.

 

with this thread I was trying to help. Yes, a few weeks ago she did give me mixed signals, but I kept on trying and she thanked me for not giving up.

 

Will it work out and will we have a bright future together? I don't know. Nobody does, but at least we are trying.

The biggest mistake I made while we were broken up was join this forum.

 

Good job. You people are a real class act. Little wonder it never worked out for you.

 

Oh lawd where to begin.

 

First off nc is not used as a tool to get a ex back...maybe your not understanding that.

 

Nc is used to remove yourself from a hurtful situation and constant tailspin of emotions and pain.

 

Nc is used when you know its truly over and to get your head right and back on track.

 

I'm proud that youre back together.

 

Oh and I did get another shot, mines going 8+ months strong.

 

Since you haven't had time to work on any of the underlying problems that broke you up before...let me know how its going if you even last 3months.

 

But, I do hope it works.

 

But ju.ping back into each others arms because of familiarity and comfort isn't a strong foundation and after the honeymoon phase wears off youre screwed

 

Hopefullly I'm wrong.

 

You don't have a clue what nc is used for.

 

If you think its used to get a ex back...then you should really stop posting and read more.

 

 

 

*Morning rant over*

 

 

 

Barky

  • Like 2
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted
It saddens me that a 'supportive' website shows nothing but contempt and doom and gloom. FYI as of a few days ago we decided to give it another chance and are officially back together.

 

Now as it seems to be tradition in this forum I'm sure the naysayers will flock to call 'bull****' or try and dampen my spirits about how it 'will not last'.

 

with this thread I was trying to help. Yes, a few weeks ago she did give me mixed signals, but I kept on trying and she thanked me for not giving up.

 

Will it work out and will we have a bright future together? I don't know. Nobody does, but at least we are trying.

The biggest mistake I made while we were broken up was join this forum.

 

Good job. You people are a real class act. Little wonder it never worked out for you.

 

Well good luck to you and your sweetheart. Take care.

  • Like 1
hotpotato Established Member

hotpotato

Posted
Posted

When you chase dumpers, you are rewarding them for dumping you!

 

At this point, they need to fight for you and regain your trust.

 

And if they dont come back, oh well.

  • Like 6
hurts2death Established Member

hurts2death

Posted
Posted

well said :cool:

When you chase dumpers, you are rewarding them for dumping you!

 

At this point, they need to fight for you and regain your trust.

 

And if they dont come back, oh well.

  • Like 1
Zahara Established Member

Zahara

Posted
Posted
IFYI as of a few days ago we decided to give it another chance and are officially back together.

 

Really? Sept 25 you post that you're still not officially together, and that was 2 days ago. Now you say a FEW days ago you both decided to give it another chance and you are both officially back. ???

  • Like 3
melell Established Member

melell

Posted
Posted

This is incredibly frustrating. I think on some level most of us want to be back together- hence why we are on here TRYING to move on so we don't want it anymore.

 

The OP has made me consider making contact and seeing what might happen. I won't do it, but this type of thread is really damaging....especially for those of us who have exes we should absolutely stay away from.

  • Like 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

Posted
Posted
This is incredibly frustrating. I think on some level most of us want to be back together- hence why we are on here TRYING to move on so we don't want it anymore.

 

The OP has made me consider making contact and seeing what might happen. I won't do it, but this type of thread is really damaging....especially for those of us who have exes we should absolutely stay away from.

 

Exactly....people like this just want attention. He got it obviously....I take advice as I would most anything in life: numbers. When you have almost 12 people saying the same thing and one saying something different, then I'm going with the majority. Can those 12 be wrong and one be right? Yes of course, but if everyone is telling me their experiences and others they've heard, then I figured there HAS to be something to it.

  • Like 3
melell Established Member

melell

Posted
Posted

I go off numbers too, but sometimes it is too easy to seek advice that you want to hear. I am the dumpee, I won't break nc. I'll be honest though, this thread caught me at a vulnerable moment and the op gave me straws to clutch at.

 

Not pretty at all.

  • Like 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Established Member

ConfusedHumanBeing

Posted
Posted
I go off numbers too, but sometimes it is too easy to seek advice that you want to hear. I am the dumpee, I won't break nc. I'll be honest though, this thread caught me at a vulnerable moment and the op gave me straws to clutch at.

 

Not pretty at all.

 

I COMPLETELY understand this way of thinking. When I was going through my stuff, I only wanted to see stuff that gave me hope that my ex was going to come back. You swim through about 15 people who say "Go NC and heal" to the one going "You know who cares what they say just chase them and show them how important you are to them." Of course, I wanted the latter, so I felt that high again that MAYBE...just maybe that person could be right. I would even get a mild anger to me when someone told me something I didnt want to hear. It was the truth, but I kept saying "You dont know her like I do" or "she wouldt do THAT" and about 100 other things you see people say on here. Turns out they were all right.

 

Now again, do peoples advice backfire? Do relationships end up back together? Yes of course! I'm not dismissing that fact or try to convey that any of us know the EXACT formula of relationship code or anything like that. With that said, MOST everything on these boards follow the same pattern and go the same route. People are different, but the same at the same time ya know? We all dont want to be alone, we all make mistakes, and we all look out really for ourselves in the end.

 

Its the way of life, and we have to keep moving forward.

  • Like 3
organizedchaos Established Member

organizedchaos

Posted
Posted
This is incredibly frustrating. I think on some level most of us want to be back together- hence why we are on here TRYING to move on so we don't want it anymore.

 

The OP has made me consider making contact and seeing what might happen. I won't do it, but this type of thread is really damaging....especially for those of us who have exes we should absolutely stay away from.

 

There are always exceptions to every rule. But they are exceptions.

  • Like 2
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