kat1012 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 My boyfriend dumped me almost 2 months ago already. Because " we are comfortable but it doesnt mean it's gonna go anywhere", he said he's been thinking for a few weeks and I am getting obsessed with the relationship. I went through a lot of stages like anger, denial, depression. I just feel like I can never truly get over the stage of looking back at the relationship to find out what I did wrong and blaming myself for the break-up. I realized my flaws and what I have done that potentially could have led to break up (even though at the moment I thought I was doing the right thing). I have stopped thinking about it for a while and I felt like I moved on a lot. But recently, when I was watching youtube and then looking at the comments, and saw people saying how that person in the reality show was too dramatic or could have addressed the issue without being too critical or too dramatic. I immediately thought of myself, since I realized I could be too sensitive which led him to call me a "drama queen" at times, and I could have sounded too critical 1 month before BU, when I told him how I didnt like him playing with his phone games when we hanged out as it made me feel like my effort is not appreciated. (yea the next day, it was raining soon after I left his place for some shopping, he texted me "told you it's gonna rain, wanna come back? wait I m playing with my phone, dont need the criticism) And of course, coming across those articles about how gf could have pushed the guy away by some behaviors can trigger me to start thinking again. I know I am being irrational and obsessive by still dwelling into the past, about something that I can't change. It's just feel like I can never truly moved on. How can I get over this? It's feels like this is gonna be part of me forever. I will feel like I have progressed and moved on but then one day, something triggers me to start thinking about the BU again, about how sh*t I was. It really sucks
okc85 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 2 months isn't such a long time. Give yourself more time to heal. I know it's hard when something triggers a memory. Just accept the memory, think about it for a bit and then try to move on with your day. Don't dwell on the memory or get upset about the memory floating back into your head.
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