Emma1234 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Ok, I just feel like I need to update things for myself, get it all off my chest. It has been 5 months since the break up I think and about 2 and a half months no contact on my part with 3 efforts of contact from him. First of all to anyone who is at the beginning stages of this do not worry. Eventually you WILL get past this awful pain. I remember just not feeling myself for at least 3 and a half months, all of you on here probably know the pain I'm talking about and the excruciating stages if grief, guilt, pain etc. For me the guilt was the worst, I genuinely never though this stage would end. One thing I have to enforce though is that it's not the amount of time that passes (although time is a major catalyst in the recovery) but the things we do in this time. For me it involved talking about it obsessively, it was like I had to talk it out of my system, I had counselling, I spoke to friends, family and now I no longer feel the need to talk about it. I also followed advice about starting new things, I went to the gym, re taught myself an instrument, volunteered both where I live and in another country, took holidays, did small things for myself, something as small as putting on a good film with a packet of my favourite crisps or taking a shower with decent conditioner. Gradually I started to feel happy, yes I still miss what we had but he is off his pedestal, I can't tell you how because he was superglued up there in my mind, but he now is just a normal boy who gave up on us. I deserve someone who will never give up, I deserve real, unconditional love and he didn't give me that. I will admit that I am not over this completely, I am dreading the day he meets someone new but I can turn that around: imagine the do that I meet someone new. Plus no contact means I never have to know about it. I don't feel like I've blocked things out, I feel I have gone through this break up rather than around it and I'm finally emerging on the other side. The feelings have been talked/cried out rather than buried deep with the threat that they could emerge or ruin future relationships. The cure for me was the to get the emotions out in any way possible. I'm heading back to university soon and he is going to be there. We have the same friendship group but I've figured out I will be able to avoid him still. There is a chance I will see him around the city and I have to walk past his house every day but if I see him I will simply say hi, smile and keep walking. I'm not mad at him, I genuinely forgive him, he's not a bad guy, he's a pretty decent guy, he just hurt me but we weren't right for each other. In the long term this wi be one of the best things that has happened to both of us because we'll live the life we are meant to live. He's in my past now. I'm finally nearly over him. 2
Vinsanity1307 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Thanks for your update. It is much appreciated I am 2.5 months break up and it is hard as hell. I caved a few days ago and sent a letter to her house. No response obviously..Still get the burning sensations and anxiety, and thoughts, but you gave me a little bit of hope.It will end one day..I hope...Glad your doing better... 1
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Very inspiring. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. A day at a time. You give me hope, sweetie 1
JDPT Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Very proud of you. Always be mindful of your ups and downs. Indulge in your ups and learn from your downs.
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