Are women as romantic as men? How to find these girls?

[StanMusial]

I've had a few romantic gestures thrown my way. It feels so nice to actually be on the receiving end as a man.

 

One new girlfriend of about a month or so drew a heart on the bottom left corner of my windshield and sent me a text that said " I gave you my heart " I thought that was adorable.

 

 

One worked at a Mexican food restaurant I liked. She would randomly surprise me with burritos after work. But what made it special is every time she did, she would devote her entire lunch break to drawing an art masterpiece on the Styrofoam to go box.

 

Same girl made me a Darth maul light saber at Disneyland. I thought that was romantic.

 

I like girls that give me food.

[xxoo]

I don't want to go into sexist mode here but I have yet to see a relationship work where the man is more emotionally expressive than the woman. She should be the sappy one who handles all that gushy stuff. If you find yourself doing more of that than she is, you're in trouble. At least that's been my experience.

 

That's how we are.

 

He brings me a cup of coffee. I gush over it like he brought me the moon

 

Makes us both pretty happy.

[RiceaRoni]

I have yet to find a guy who can be as romantic as I am.

 

Most guys I meet or date just want to find some way to get into my pants...Yeah not romantic at all especially if he isn't even courting or being romantic, or trying to have something with me relationship wise.

 

I think I'm romantic when it comes to dating.

 

I just have yet to find a guy as or more romantic than I am.

[bentleychic]

I am, but I've never been with a romantic guy. Go figure.

[Grumpybutfun]

When I was a young man the woman was always way more romantic than me, basically because I was unclear on what being romantic entailed. However, when I met my wife she was romantic and took the time to explain to me through actions and deeds what she found romantic. With that said, I am in my forties and things may have changed in the late teens and early twenties dating world, but I think it really is an individual thing, not a gender thing.

Romance to me is thoughtful gestures and lots of sex with the occasional great meal followed by more great sex. In fact if the only thing she did was act interested and initiate sex and act like I am her favorite person in the world, the rest of it is like icing on the cake (though I really like the handholding, terribly long hugs, walking the neighborhood just so she can tell me her day, buying me tickets for a sport's venue she isn't particularly interested in, making sure my work clothes are clean and hung up, making our house a home, cooking meals that I like, boat rides where she will drive and hang out and talk just so I can bass fish, etc.)

In return I know her romance buttons....like travel to historical places as opposed to jewelry, and plants she can put in the garden instead of flowers that will die, being her on call handyman, tickling her back, taking her to fancy restaurants and ordering some wine when I would rather have pizza and a beer, and making sure that she knows how much I adore her everyday. In reflection we do hug and kiss a lot so I guess I am pretty romantic.

I have always understood that at the end of the day, she is my person, the one who reflects the life I am living. I have always lived in a very male oriented world (military then hunting country) so I understand that some men take their cues from other men and what they are supposed to do, instead of asking the woman they are with what romantic gestures she likes. I just don't give a clown's a88 what other men think or do or think is the "man code" and I do what makes her smile and feel safe.

Ergo, I think men and women have an equal possibility of being organically romantic or a complete and utter dud as it is a choice.

Longwindedly,

Grumps

[kaylan]

I think it's possible for a woman to be romantic.

 

I mean I consider myself romantic...and I love to be romanticized

 

Usually when I'm seeing a guy I'll bring him food by surprise or buy him his favorite beverage and give it to him when we hang out, lol I've even brought a guy his favorite cake with a cute note attached to it.

 

I dont know if you consider that romantic lol but I'm much more giving than most girls I've seen.

 

So yes, it's possible to find and have a romantic woman. I think it just depends on their personality and what they think about the whole "romanticizing" act itself.

It is

[kaylan]

As some have mentioned, men and women interpret romance differently.

 

Flowers and chocolates and poems and all that stuff may be nice for them, but I'd rather she dress up as a french maid or something, you know?

 

What's romantic to me is as you said, expressing her feelings.

 

I don't want to go into sexist mode here but I have yet to see a relationship work where the man is more emotionally expressive than the woman. She should be the sappy one who handles all that gushy stuff. If you find yourself doing more of that than she is, you're in trouble. At least that's been my experience.

Dressing up sexually is not romance. Your mind is going strictly sexual with that one. Romance for me is more about emotions.

 

I love roleplaying as much as the next guy, but I dont call that romance. Nor do I know any man who calls dress up games before sex, romance.

 

And regarding your last point, relationships work best when both people are on the same page. Ive seen women get tossed to the side for being overly gushy as well. If the other person isnt that expressive, that kinda stuff can be overbearing.

[Pompeii]

Men are the more romantic gender.

[kaylan]

My expeience is that men arent romantic. Most that are are just trying to get in your pants or win you over. I dont really know any men that are long term romantic. Pretty much guys are less emotional and dont like to talk about feelings. Ive only known a handful not to be like this. In all of my past relationships, the guys got more annoyed at me for bringing up that kind of talk.

 

I dont know, men seem to expect women to do alot for them. I dont think Ill ever cook alot for my next boyfriend because once you start they take you for granted and expect you to do it all the time. I dont feel sympathy for men who complain about putting in more effort because thats only during the beginning. In the long run, women bear the brunt of doing more and being more selfless while men can avoid feelings and be a jerk because "hes just being a guy"

 

The last guy I dated did nothing for me for Valentines day, bitched at me for wanting to do something and then looked at my specially made card for him for 5 seconds and just said "thanks" (my specially made card was scrapbooked by me, plus I spent all this time writing cute quotes between us, plus romantic quotes like "you are the cheese to my macaroni" "peanut butter to my jelly") The only time this guy (and the others Ive dated) was romantic was in the beginning when they are trying to get you attached.

Its weird, because my experience is the opposite. Im expressive but come across more girls who dont talk about how they feel well. The stereotype that men dont share emotions and that women do it better doesnt ring true for me.

 

And Ive seen similar things amongst my friends. There is an even split among the guys and girls who appear more emotionally expressive to their partners.

[M30USA]

My expeience is that men arent romantic. Most that are are just trying to get in your pants or win you over.

 

You could say the same about women. Just substitute "trying to get in your pants" with "trying to get your money, sperm, and a wedding ring".

 

Humans are selfish creatures. Without Jesus we are all going to hell because we deserve it.

[Grumpybutfun]

Yeah, this is why I think men are shallow and ego centric. Their definition of romance revolves around their dick and their own ego.

 

Sex with someone you love is not shallow and wanting to be my wife's favorite person isn't abnormal. Both are quite romantic and are to be commended in any marriage and relationship. Reading comprehension is a skill, but still did you even read my entire post, or did you get distracted by some pain you are projecting?

Befuddled,

Grumps

[phineas]

Sex with someone you love is not shallow and wanting to be my wife's favorite person isn't abnormal. Both are quite romantic and are to be commended in any marriage and relationship. Reading comprehension is a skill, but still did you even read my entire post, or did you get distracted by some pain you are projecting?

Befuddled,

Grumps

 

Yep.

I don't want every woman to drain me of bodily fluids, i want woman to do it.

[KathyM]

I think everybody has their own definition of what being romantic is, although there are probably some similarities that people could agree on. I would define it as doing something special, or saying something special, to show interest or love. I don't consider the everyday things you would do anyway in a relationship to be romantic. It's the willingness to do the special things that make for a romantic person. I can think of a lot of people I know personally who are romantic, and demonstrate it to their partner. I think most people, however, are not romantic, and that is why there may be no spark in the relationship. I had two serious long-term boyfriends before meeting my husband, and there was a huge difference between them and him in terms of romance. These other guys were attractive. They were fun to be with. I liked their personality. They had a lot of sex appeal, you might say, but not romantic really. My husband, on the other hand, did the special things right from the start that set him out as something special. He would send or bring flowers frequently. He would send beautiful cards with sweet notes written on them. He had impeccable manners, and always held the door or opened doors for me, and other niceties. When he told me he loved me for the first time, I could tell he was very moved by it and had tears in his eyes. My son was very romantic to his wife also. He would right poetry for her. He would bring her to very special and meaningful places. There were other very special things he did for her which I won't expand on here, since they are very specific and I want to respect his privacy. He wrote the most beautiful wedding vows to her which many women later commented on as so very romantic. My other son's girlfriend was also a romantic. She would hand write him sweet notes on a daily basis, with cute pictures that she drew. She would often bake goodies for him, and give him little love packages with sweet little things in them, as well as larger gifts that had some significance or special meaning or value. There are some people who really know how to make a person fall in love with them, and they are the ones who know how to romance a partner.

[StanMusial]

My ex gf tried to get me to stand in the rain and kiss her because it was romantic. I said hell no its pouring and jumped in the car.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Yeah, I see "not romantic enough" complaints from women who date potheads that live in their mother's basement.

But, they still date them & be their sex toy.

 

On the other hand, the guys who bought them flowers, did the cheese & wine picnic, ect essentially all that romantic "stuff" they complain they didn't have....before the jobless hippie their banging now......those guys didn't even get to see their boobs.

 

If a girl is really into you, you could get away with anything......even romance.

[AMusing]

D'awww, Grumps, that was a super sweet post. Your relationship sounds lovely.

 

Romance to me is thoughtful gestures and lots of sex with the occasional great meal followed by more great sex. [...] In return I know her romance buttons....

 

ke.i.ra, he explicitly says that sex/food/feeling like he is his wife's most important person are ways she can be romantic to him. Immediately after he says he pays attention to what she likes from him, and does it. I don't think you need to tell him that other people feel loved in different ways; he acknowledges it explicitly.

[PJKino]

Men give women take

[Keenly]

Did you know there are studies that show over 70% of married/cohabitating couples where both people work full time, women do 80% or more of the housework/childcare?

 

 

Lets see the studies.

[Grumpybutfun]

Romance is about emotions. Not sex or getting your ego flattered. Yes I read your entire post. The part I bolded is the most important to you. The part I bolded does revolve around <sex> and ego. Sorry your ego cannot handle it.

 

Have you ever seen the episode of The Office when Pam's fiance forgets to do something for her on Valentines Day and then tries to make up for it by saying "But Im gonna give you the best sex of your life" and Pam makes an "ugh" face. (Because you know, thats not most women's idea of a romance...)That sounds like you.

 

Just because YOU consider ****ing to be romantic, doesnt mean other people do. In fact most people that have responded here, think being romantic is doing something selfless to show their feelings, a special gesture.

 

Romance is showing the other person how you feel, and intimacy with my wife is one way I do that. I did include thoughtful gestures in that sentence but your mind must have missed that. Sex to me and to my wife is about emotion. I have been married almost 20 years and I treat her with respect and adoration. Making me into some sex fiend whose ego rules my life is just ludicrous, and is more apt to your projection of how men treat you rather than what I wrote.

Why do you think it is called making love? A little candlelight, some wine, a bath together, sensual massage and sex is considered a staple of romantic couples everywhere. Women and men do not view romance differently as my wife also says that sexual intimacy is a romantic gesture because you are face to face and sharing feeling through touch. I never said one word about f**ing and find it crass and immature that you would throw that into a post about romance.

My well adjusted ego can handle anything but my love for my wife and self-respect will not tolerate disrespect for my marriage. In the real world you wouldn't dare be so bitter to someone who is professing their love for their wife regardless of how they communicate it, but here you let your bitterness rule your head and your manners.

Very Grumpy,

Grumps

[miss_jaclynrae]

This thread was inspired by an episode of a old fave tv show of mine that I just finished watching. Basically the main male lead was being told by his wife that he isnt romantic at all.

 

Maybe Ive not payed attention well, and maybe Ive had a bad female picker, but its my experience that women arent really romantic. Of course women like to be romanced, and I can think of numerous romantic things Ive said or done for a girl...but I cant really think of many situations where Ive had a girl behave similarly for me or a friend of mine.

 

It seems like the status quo is that men are to give romance and women receive it. Thats especially what most of our tv shows and movies tend to teach us. However, there have been a few examples Ive seen of chicks being pretty darn romantic, and heck Ive always wanted to date a romantic chick.

 

I could be mistaken...like I said, its possible that Ive just picked women who werent as into me as I was into them, or just werent good at showing how much they were into me.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

This made me laugh, mostly because I am SUCH a romantic.

We both are in our relationship which is awesome. I definitely am more so than he though!

 

You just haven't been with someone who was truly into you.

 

From the beginning of our relationship I was super cute. Messages on the mirror for him to see before work, notes in his pockets to find, he also has a bazillion cute cards from me. It became a thing for me to get him cute/funny cards and leave them out for when he got home. Little gifts such as bath salts, or his favorite candy on the counter for him.

 

I love showing how much I care, and once I do, I can't be stopped. The best part is finding someone who is also able to. I have come home to cute notes next to a bottle of bubble bath, funny notes left next to a succulent or bouquet of flowers, notes back to me on the mirror.

 

 

 

I have always been romantic, but always felt like I was being too "mushy" with other men, having to hide that side of me worrying it may be too much sucked.

It is one of MANY reasons I love my man so much.

[Antenna_Of_Destiny]

I dated two women in the past couple of years that were at opposite ends of that spectrum. I think it's just a characteristic of the individual and perhaps associated more with certain personality types than others.

 

The romantic one was a feeling type (NF) and the non-romantic one was a thinker (NT). The first one loved flowers and would be moved almost to tears whenever I brought some for her. The other one told me pretty early not to buy her flowers because she just wasn't into it. With the first one we exchanged gifts pretty often for no reason at all; none whatsoever with the second. The first one used to cook wonderful meals bake special desserts (I don't eat wheat) and the second one just saw cooking as a practical necessity rather than a daily communion with life and each other. The first one had a lot of femininity that needed to be expressed and the second one had a dry, more masculine type of energy underneath. The first was more emotional, the second was logical, practical and objective.

 

I'd take the romantic woman any day of the week. There is absolutely no doubt which is more appealing to me.

 

Fascinating analysis. I'm an INTJ and I find usually get along best with women who are ESTJ. She'll be more outgoing and stop me from overthinking things, but we are still grounded in the realm of logic and using structured techniques to reach decisions. I want someone who will only stay with me as long as I am my best and continue developing personal growth with them, who won't hesitate to leave me if I start slacking off or becoming complacent in life. I'd treat her the same way.

Edited September 26, 2013 by Antenna_Of_Destiny

[phineas]

Did you know there are studies that show over 70% of married/cohabitating couples where both people work full time, women do 80% or more of the housework/childcare? Did you know that they found this to be true even for the couples where the woman makes more money? (so basically...women end up doing 2 shifts of work because we are women )

In this example, who do you think is the taker? Men or women?

 

You sound like a nice guy I just think youve dated the wrong types of women. Are you not attracted to nice sweet girls or something? They probably wont be hotties like you want, but they wont be takers at least.

 

80% LOL!

 

If both parents are working fulltime (40hrs) then you are talking about a very small chunk of time spent on the kids & housework over all if the women are supposedly doing %80 more because there are only so many hrs in the day.

 

Lets see the studies.

 

Yes, lets see those studies.

I'm willing to bet they only focus on house work & forget to look at yardwork or doing repairs around the home.

 

Here is a gallop poll about such things.

http://www.gallup.com/poll/106249/wives-still-laundry-men-yard-work.aspx

Edited September 26, 2013 by phineas

[candie13]

I'm way too romantic... and way too impulsive, as well, I generally get mad and leave them before any has the chance to ever return the favor. I swear, like being a woman isn't hard enough, I gotta be cursed with a bad temper as well

[hotpotato]

Im romantic.

 

I like picnics.

Walks on the beach.

 

I like wine and chocolate covered strawberries. I brought these for a guy and topped it off with candlelight.

 

I am not romantic like this until comfy in a relationship.

 

Oh yes, cant forget his favorite beer.

Edited September 27, 2013 by hotpotato