crimsoncurrent Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 After nine months of absolute NC, I broke my sobriety about a week ago, checking my ex's FB profile. I noticed she was in another relationship with someone. I didn't click the guy's profile. Since the discovery, I've had mixed feelings about breaking NC. On one hand, I'm hurt of course, knowing that she's moved on for good. But, on the other, there seems to be more closure to the situation, not having any false hope that she might contact me out of the blue someday. I guess the discovery was very sobering, more in touch with reality than was I was thinking. If anyone would like to provide their thoughts and insight, I'd really appreciate it. 1
Philosoraptor Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 If you're feeling more grounded about the situation don't overthink it. Just accept it and continue to move on and find happiness in your own world. 4
EdG Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 I'm fighting the urge to do the same mate. I want to check her profile, but I know it won't do me any good. My situation is different as we're only recently broken up, but the urge may be there for much longer and given how easy it is to do these days with FB etc its going to need to be fought. Hopefully after 9 months you've been able to move on to some extent, so I hope the pain isn't too bad... FB is a bit of a devil. We're no longer friends on FB, but still it takes just a simple name search and it opens up a can of worms. Do you wish you'd never looked, or are you glad you did as you now have closure? 2
Author crimsoncurrent Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 I'm fighting the urge to do the same mate. I want to check her profile, but I know it won't do me any good. My situation is different as we're only recently broken up, but the urge may be there for much longer and given how easy it is to do these days with FB etc its going to need to be fought. Hopefully after 9 months you've been able to move on to some extent, so I hope the pain isn't too bad... FB is a bit of a devil. We're no longer friends on FB, but still it takes just a simple name search and it opens up a can of worms. Do you wish you'd never looked, or are you glad you did as you now have closure? Since it's a recent breakup, I advise not to check FB. You have to first learn to live with her out of your life. It sucks, but these types of things are difficult. Waiting for nine months, I think I gathered enough emotional strength to find out what I did. After so much time, with any communication whatsoever, it's expected that the other person would have moved on with someone else. I just checked her relationship status. I didn't go on and check the person she's in a relationship. If was to do that, I would take a major step back. I wish you, man. I'm sorry for your situation. 2
Author crimsoncurrent Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 If you're feeling more grounded about the situation don't overthink it. Just accept it and continue to move on and find happiness in your own world. Thank you for the encouraging words. Yes, like you said, I do feel more grounded in reality. Whenever I begin to fantasize about us having a dramatic reunion, I remind myself that she's with someone else, making new experiences with that person. It hurts a lot, but after some a long time without communicating with her, I'm about to accept it. I'm not concerned with them being sexual or something, which I probably would have earlier in the breakup, but just grieving for someone I once considered a bestfriend, someone I don't think I'll ever see nor hear from again. 1
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