deni9 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 My boyfriend is 20 years old and I am 21. People are always telling me that I can do "better" because they say he looks like a kid. Or they tell me "I didn't know he was ur type" meaning that i normally date tall, muscular man. Well he looks 16. he is 5'6.5 and probably weights 132. Where I am 5'6 as well and weigh in 132lbs. Today my bestie told me that "your just too much women for him, you very mature and womanly" My parents, and other ppl have told me the same thing. they question his age. Now he is REALLY good looking. and have amazing hair and dresses so nice!! but he is small framed and I guess you can say kinda has a baby face, but dark beautiful features. Now, should it bother me that they say that? like a part of me does, because I feel like im the one that looks bad. the other part is that I don't care, im in love with him,he treats me amazing! Unlike my ex who is 26, muscular and very manly. but he was a total A-Hole! I just feel bad. He has told me that he feels bad that hes not manly enough or isn't buff like the guys I use to be with. But for me that doesn't matter, apparently it matters to other people 1
Kristine Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Follow your gut and your heart, and you won't go wrong. Do not let other people choose your boyfriend, mate, etc. They don't live with him you do! 4
MrCastle Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Follow your gut and your heart, and you won't go wrong. Do not let other people choose your boyfriend, mate, etc. They don't live with him you do! ^^^ This...
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 It depends on what the feedback is... Some of it might be worth listening to while others are just judgmental. However it's normal to an extent for people to criticize or compliment the people you are dating, because for them their perspective is based on their expectations of what you can attain....and people want you to be with the "best" that you can get. So if they're used to you being with a certain type of guy or see you as someone that can do "better" or be with someone who they see as more compatible...someone is going to say something eventually to you...people like to see well-matched couples. Your BF is young and he doesn't have to look his age yet as that will change in time, nor should his height matter and body weight matter (let's be honest, people judge in regards to this though that's never going to change). I can understand other things bothering them about him where as they just blame the superficial bits. But as long as he's making you happy and the important things like respect, how he treats you, and things of that nature are established then you shouldn't let it deter you from dating this person. Eventually your family and friends will come to terms with the fact that if it makes you happy then it's worth being happy for you, however some may not hold the highest opinion of who you date for whatever reason and that's for them personally to deal with. I would keep your personal life more to yourself as well, if they've already got a reason not to like him then they may use things you say against you...although this sounds like a new relationship...maybe even a rebound, so time will tell what becomes of this if you're just still in the honeymoon phase anyway. 2
Author deni9 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Thank you for all that! But one question and it may be a dumb question, but I was thinking, I really am into this guy. How you stated "so time will tell what becomes of this...." well how do I give this guy a "chance" to prove to me that he can be the guy I've always wanted without being so attach. Because as time passes eventually a person will get "use to" a person and so it makes it more difficult to let go of someone, because you are blinded with how he really is. If that makes sense? Im just scared that im going to make the same mistake. I've told my bf that im not playing any games. I believe that's why I want to care what people think, because they can see what I don't see. I already have feelings for him because he is very respectful, gentle and gives me the attention and affection that most of the guys I know lack on. because they were jerks to me. So what my bf gives me now, is something im not use to, and I like it. im sorry if I sound like a confused child, Im just really cautious on guys since I have had bad experience with guys.
Author deni9 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Thank you for your input, gave me a differ perspective on how I viewed things I've already lost some family members because they didn't like the fact I was dating him. My own brother stopped talking to me. Its quite sad to me how they just couldn't respect my decisions. That's why I hesitate to continue this relationship. Because he really does make me happy. so a lot of this messes with my head, but in the end of the day, I always choose him. I am afraid, that's all. I wish I didn't have to constantly choose him the guy I fell for who treats me amazing between my family and friends, who think im an idiot and since im with him, im considered not part of them. im happy with him, but then I get upset and sad cause I lost people but I don't want to have those people who couldn't even respect my decisions in life and lose an amazing person...if that makes sense. 1
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