Is monogamy or sleeping around more the expected norm these days?

[h2man]

I just broke up with someone who I am sure was sleeping with someone else (old dried up wine glasses on each side of the bed when I arrived, bite mark bruises on the back of her shoulder, etc.) but someone has told me it is my fault as I didn't discuss being monogamous when we first started having sex...

 

I'm not prude, and actually had an open relationship once, but that worked because it was my informed consensual decision as she told me that was what she wanted on our first date

 

I am (was?) under the assumption that unless someone mentioned otherwise, the accepted norm these days is that when you are sleeping with someone, you are only sleeping with them, unless you say otherwise - has this changed since I last dated? Is it now the norm to expect your partner to be sleeping around?

[PogoStick]

If you have expectations then you should express them, not assume.

[Phantom888]

I used to think the same, until I was told otherwise. There are multi-daters that sleep around, and they don't mention it unless you ask.

[ChessPieceFace]

Why does it matter what the "norm" is? You have certain personal standards, find a way to meet people with similar standards.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Just think of it as a 50/50 thing...a lot of people end up sleeping with FWB or old-flames, ex's, guy they just met right before you that they were sleeping with before while dating you but you have more potential as a "boyfriend", the list goes on.

 

So yeah, best not to assume you are exclusive or monogamous without communication...and even then, until you're in an actual relationship many people don't cut off their side toys.

[Balzac]

Quite a scene when you describe the wine glasses! I believe that's called "hot bunking"??

 

My comment to you is serial monogamy even needs a legal limit these days!!