movingonnow1 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I am starting to hit a wall and wanting to break NC...as much as I hate to admit it. My ex and I were in a LDR for over 1 year and I decided to move home for her and try to get a job locally. As soon as I got back she ended it with me in person...I kind of saw it coming because she was acting distant to me for 3 months but she also kept saying she wants me home. I was so hurt I walked away from her, deleted her number and deleted her off of twitter and facebook. She messaged me a few times saying she wants to talk to me in person, be friends and I am not giving her a chance... I'm starting to feel regret for doing this and kind of feel like reaching out to her to do the face to face thing. She hasn't messaged me in 3 weeks and I am starting to miss her a lot. I'm scared if I don't reach out to her I will regret it...please any advice would be greatly appreciated.
OJ loved Nicole Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 any advice would be greatly appreciated. Sure I'll chime in. So you want to either be friends or get her back right? Both scenarios explained: You want to be friends with her- This includes seeing her with the current guy she's banging. Going out to the bar and watching her talk to guys (you can't say anything, you're her friend now). You doing everything you used to with her (lunches, texting, listening to complaining, bowling, whatever!!) and someone else gets to get her in bed. No sir, you don't want this outcome. You want her back- If she wanted to be with you..... she would be!! She knows you want to be with her, there is nothing stopping her other than: she doesn't want to be with you, if she wanted to, she would. Why contact/pursue someone like that? I'm not trying to beat you up, just straight forward advice. NO sense in contacting her unless you want more heartache. 1
devilish innocent Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 She said she wanted to get in contact "as friends". You miss her as more than a friend right now. Seeing her again would only set you back with the progress you've made by being away from her. Continue going no contact. Maybe some day you will be in a position to talk to her as a friend, but I really don't think that now is the right time for you to do it. 1
lauri Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Don't torture yourself by being her friend. I know how you are feeling bc I came home and my ex did the same thing...am I wrong to feel that bc we were in a LDR that I should be trying to fight to keep her around and show her I was worth the wait? Or if she left me its done?
melell Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 I know it is hard to see it right now, but you will feel better. And there will be a time when this matters none to you. Do your best not to let it dominate how you feel now. I would say don't be friends until you are completely over it, and don't worry about it, just because you can't be friends now doesn't mean you can't be friends later! 1
Author movingonnow1 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Isn't it a clear indication she doesn't care if she hasn't contacted me since? I mean I know she tried a bit...but it wasn't like she was sorry for me coming home for her and just ending it without even trying after I got home. She was just interested in masking her guilt I feel...she kept saying "I'm not a bad person", "I need to focus on myself, If you find someone else its okay", "Let's be friends", "I don't know what I want". Like I'm so confused because she was telling me she wants to be with me long term...and now this? I don't feel like I did anything wrong but I feel like I should be talking to her...
lauri Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Isn't it a clear indication she doesn't care if she hasn't contacted me since? I mean I know she tried a bit...but it wasn't like she was sorry for me coming home for her and just ending it without even trying after I got home. She was just interested in masking her guilt I feel...she kept saying "I'm not a bad person", "I need to focus on myself, If you find someone else its okay", "Let's be friends", "I don't know what I want". Like I'm so confused because she was telling me she wants to be with me long term...and now this? I don't feel like I did anything wrong but I feel like I should be talking to her... It does sound like that to me. If she really does care, she will come around and show you that she does...she probably checked out emotionally a long time ago considering she broke up with you as soon as you were home...she may have even found another guy. Its harsh man, but its better you find this out now. That is what I am struggling to accept myself.
Author movingonnow1 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 I'm having the urge to ask her " why would you ask me to come home for you if you didn't want to be with me?" I know everyone is asking me to stay NC but its hard. She has to have had some feelings for me if she wanted that to happen...but I guess she must have met someone else already before I came home....don't know how someone could be so cruel to me...
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