Jadedbyluv Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I was in an abusive relationship for over 3 years. It ended almost 3 years ago now. Last year was when I finally got him completely out of my life. Throughout the relationship and after, I developed low self-esteem and my self-worth was destroyed. I hated it myself. Honestly, I still have bad days. I still have confidence issues and esteem issues but it is something I'm working on. One day at a time. Cliche as it sounds, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. As far as I have come, I am not emotionally ready for a relationship. I still need to work on myself before I can fully give to someone else. I need to be happy before I can make someone else happy. I'm seeing a therapist who is helping me work on my issues and I know in time I will be where I want to be Even though I know I'm not ready, I have dated a few guys. A lot of my anxieties and insecurities come out when it comes to dating. Especially trust issues and feeling like I'm not good enough. One guy I dated, it was short lived only about 2 months. In the 3 years I have been single, this is the first time I felt butterflies. I felt comfortable with him, and he made me excited again. I truly felt there was something special with him. I haven't felt that way with anybody. Then poof, he disappeared. I know it was short but I started to doubt my own feelings. Is it possible to feel that way and be wrong? Sometimes I don't know if I can even trust myself. I'm trying to sit with my feelings and understand them better. I'm super disappointed how it all just ended.
Philosoraptor Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Sounds like what you felt was real, just wasn't reciprocated. Just continue to work on yourself and learn to trust who you are, and your ability to make the best decisions for your own life.
Renard99 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 As Philosoraptor says, what you felt was real. Don't be too harsh on yourself during this period. Remember, a relationship takes two people and there was every possibility that you did everything right with that guy. It could have been his problems or insecurities that made him disappear. I know that doesn't make it any easier, but at least take comfort from the fact that you had those feelings and that you tried your best. No one can ask any more of you, especially after you've come so far and done so well. Remember, you are you, and you come as a package.... if people can't take you for who you are... say "screw 'em, that's their problem, not mine"!
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