vdubb89 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 okay so I need some advice on some relationship stuff considering I am terrible at this kinda stuff and need an outside opinion! I met this guy online, we added eachother to facebook, seen that we had a few mutual friends (one in particular being very close to the both of us which was a coincidence). We briefly chatted over facebook over the course of about a week or so and then lost contact for about 6 months. Then at the begginning of this month at a local music festival I ran into him. He recognized me right away from my pictures, and so did I. Both of us were really drunk and lost our friends, so we decided to go watch the show together. It was fun. We ended up losing eachother again by the end of the night though. The next day I briefly ran into him again at the same festival... he said that he was embarassed of being so drunk the night before, I said it was fine, and we parted ways. Didnt talk again for about 3 weeks. Then, about a week and a half ago...I ran into him again!! This time at my work ( I work at a live music venue as a bartender, and he is a musician). His band was playing at my work. I didnt have much time to talk though, so he asked when we were gonna go on a date, we exchanged numbers and were briefly texting back and forth the next day. He ended the text convo by saying he had the next week off of work and that we should get together. I agreed and told him to let me know when. After he didnt text for a few days I decided to take the initiative to text him myself.... we ended up making plans for a first date. The first date was awesssssome! Probably the best date I have ever been on (and I have been on alot!) And we didnt even do anything exciting in particular. We met at his house, he gave me a mixtape he made me (I dont thnk this is creepy at all considering we are both musicians and huuuuge music fanatics... I thought it was a thoughtful gesture as he wanted to introduce me to some new music). The conversations on the date were great, we left his house and went somewhere to have some patio beers, went for icecream, sat in a park and talked, walked to a viewpoint over the city, and went for dinner.. We ended up spending around 7 hours together! Which is pretty hefty for a first date if you ask me. At one point he did mention that he had previously made plans with a friend, I assured him that we could part ways, he denied and said he would cancel his plans as he was having a good time ( I dont know if this was a gimmick or not? Along with the whole mixtape thing? I am bad at picking up on signs.... Maybe I am overanalyzing?) After the date, he drove me to my car. We hugged goodbye and he said a second date was definitely in order, possibly on Saturday (date was on Thursday).... He even sent me a courtesy text after the date saying that he had a good time and godo night. Saturday rolls around and he doesn't text me yet so I take the initiative again to text him (because I should be able to text him when I want right? Wrong.. I am terrible at the 'playing it cool' or 'hard to get' card!) I just sent him a picture text of something we had joked about on our date... he replied right away by saying that it was a really good date and then asked me how my weekend was... after that he replied by saying he was coming down with a cold and QUOTE: " we should probably get together again when I am feeling healthy and not coughing all over you" TO be honest... I was a bit offended by this. Was he sick or was he not sick? I don't know. But it doesn't matter. The fact is, He made it seem like he thought my only intention for texting him was because I was assuming we were supposed to be going on a date that night... and he was the one to reply by saying we cant hang because he was sick... I just replied by saying that i hope he feels better and enjoy the rest of your weekend. He replies and says "Thanks, I will be in touch young lady" That was on Saturday. It is Tuesday today. I am not freaking out because he hasnt texted since then ... I am just wondering what to make of all this... I can't tell if he is genuinely interested or if he is just stringing me along? Maybe he is seeing other girls as well and just keeping me as an option?? I would appreciate ANY opinions/insight you may have as I am terrible at picking up on signs... and its driving me crazy to overanalyze everything. On the date he genuinely seemed interested.... so I don't know. It could be a little bit of both? What do you think? AND most importantly, what do I do from here? IF he texts me again to hang out should I be available or no? I know guys like the chase.... I don't want to play games but I dont want to be too readily available either otherwised he will probably get bored.. Sorry for the long post but i needed to explain the WHOLE situation. Please help?!
Lansing Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I feel like you put in enough effort at this point. Wait until he asks you out again (well, don't "wait", live your life and go out with friends/meet other people/etc). If your intention is to date him I don't see the point of contacting him again. The thing is, if I was the guy and I liked you, I would have not lost you in the middle of the concert, I wouldn't have waited weeks to contact you or maybe run into you, etc. If I had no way of contacting you maybe... but, not if you were on my facebook/etc. Maybe HE is trying to play it cool but I would say you are better off to let him invite you at this point. Sure, accept the invite, no need to make up reasons/lies that you are busy.. However, maybe you SHOULD be busy in reality, get out and do things/etc and don't "Wait" for him like that.
Author vdubb89 Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Yeah, I completely agree! And keeping busy is certainly something I have been trying to do! I have made plans with my friends & family this week and I certainly won't drop those plans if he so just decides to text me t o make plans all of a sudden.... I guess I am just wondering if its something t hat I am doing because this seems to be a common occurence with me! I have absolutely NO trouble getting dates with guys (not to be boastful, but it seems that I do get a lot of interest) but then after the first date it seems they lose interest.... I am a hopeless romantic, and I would not date someone that I wasnt fully interested in (which is probably the reason why I have been single for 4 years now but been on countless dates!) but now I wonder if this is all coming across as desperity? and guys can sense it? I do want a boyfriend, and feel that I am ready. But it just seems that finnnnnnnnally when I DO have a really good date.. they arent interested back.. seems to me that I am having a hard time in keeping the interest of the guy
Recommended Posts