SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Still trying to forget about my breakup. However, part of me is curious who my ex dumped me for. He got with her months after the break up but for whatever reason (I assume it has to be looks) he decided to move on from me and take her. Although it's never good to assume, I'm predicting it's probably a bombshell. Has to be. Part of me is curious to see it on facebook or something, but then I would not want to break down and cry after. How bad is it bad if I saw a picture?
chinacat sunflower Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 It sucks. It happened to me. But I guess on the positive side of things, it just confirms that we were never meant to be. He's happy and will most likely spend the rest of his life with her. I do check his page, because I cannot find the courage to block him. I know that I need to get over him whether I see those pictures or not. Life goes on after a break up, and the reality of it is, he was going to start to date again; he's a relationship guy. I found myself starting to compare myself to her, and I quickly took a step back and looked at it for what it is. She's gorgeous, just like his other formers. So in a weird sort of way, it made me feel good about myself, to know that he dates really pretty, awesome chicks. Just because we didn't work out, doesn't mean that I'm not as awesome. What I've learned is that relationships aren't about you, or them, it's about you and your partner as a whole. If you and your former didn't work out, doesn't mean you aren't awesome. I'm sorry, I'm rambling and got wildly off track. Anyway, this is just from my perspective. Whatever you choose to do, it's not the end of the world. BE STRONG! 3
lionoftheforum Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 We’re human, we seek status. Is the new person better than us? Who knows… I think your energy is better spent looking forward instead of trying to fill in blanks you will probably never acquire enough info to fill in properly. What if they are better than you? Do you really want to find that out? 1
AnnaAnna Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 He dumped me for a much older woman. Not only is she much older she's also ugly and fat (I don't judge people but in this case I have to) . She's nothing like me. She's so old she could be my mother so I don't know how I should feel about that. :sick:
seekingpeaceinlove Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Come on gals..it's usually not about looks with the new person. It's almost always about the new person fulfilling a need for them..a need that they weren't getting with you. It's natural for us to compare ourselves with the new girl but what good does that really do you? She may be prettier than you but is she as dynamic as you? She may be uglier but she could be better in bed than you...Comparison breeds fear. Don't torture yourselves. 2
AnnaAnna Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 Come on gals..it's usually not about looks with the new person. It's almost always about the new person fulfilling a need for them..a need that they weren't getting with you. It's natural for us to compare ourselves with the new girl but what good does that really do you? She may be prettier than you but is she as dynamic as you? She may be uglier but she could be better in bed than you...Comparison breeds fear. Don't torture yourselves. The only thing she has going for her is that she lives close by and I am far away. No way she's better in bed than me lol
clementyne Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 (edited) The only thing she has going for her is that she lives close by and I am far away. No way she's better in bed than me lol How do you know? Have you slept with her?! lol Edited October 1, 2013 by clementyne 4
AnnaAnna Posted October 1, 2013 Posted October 1, 2013 How do you know? Have you slept with her?! lol It doesn't really matter what she has and I don't. I am left behind so she must be better at something. It wouldn't have matter if she was prettier or younger I'd still be hurt. 1
love1336x Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I know this is easier said than done... But, don't look at the Facebook.... I mean... who cares what this girl looks like... There will always be somebody prettier than you, smarter, taller... the list can go on and on...but beauty is in the eye of the beholder! if she is hot, some other dudes might find her ugly. I remember this young woman working at my job. Every. Dude. Find. Her. Pretty. TO me! She was a typically white girl who was underweight with a very horse voice. BUT, every dude wanting her at my job! Point is... others will think what they wanna think... You cannot compared your ex new girl to you... Just can't. 1
JoelBarish Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Still trying to forget about my breakup. However, part of me is curious who my ex dumped me for. He got with her months after the break up but for whatever reason (I assume it has to be looks) he decided to move on from me and take her. Although it's never good to assume, I'm predicting it's probably a bombshell. Has to be. Part of me is curious to see it on facebook or something, but then I would not want to break down and cry after. How bad is it bad if I saw a picture? I wonder that all the time but I am better off not knowing. I don't want any knowledge of my ex anymore, it would be too painful. I would rather just heal since this is the way she wanted things to be. So I avoid situations where I would find out information about her. I don't look at FB. I wish that I never saw her car driving around town, in fact I drive out of my way to avoid seeing her car parked at her friend's house. I know that I can't avoid her forever but for right now I just want to be left alone to heal. 1
RiceaRoni Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I dunno for me...I probably would be curious, but as of right now I could care less. Why care? WHO CARES? They left you for someone else for some reason. May it be looks, a personality trait you didnt have, time, distance, loneliness, the list goes on.. In the end you'll never really know WHY they left you for this certain person, but know that since they did in fact leave you for another person, that's your cue to move on and find someone better who loves your qualities (all of them) and wouldn't leave you for someone else. Don't bother to compare yourself either. Comparing yourself won't bring your ex back. You'll hurt yourself comparing you to the new beau they have. Just know you have your special and unique qualities and they have theirs..your ex simply favored theirs more than your own. Time to forget about them both and find someone willing to love you and your qualities that you possess yourself. 2
clementyne Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 It doesn't really matter what she has and I don't. I am left behind so she must be better at something. It wouldn't have matter if she was prettier or younger I'd still be hurt. Tell me about it. No matter if she's gorgeous or hideous, it's gonna hurt the same. We'll always be the ones they didn't want. 2
Omei Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 Nope I cant even picture my ex with someone else no idea why prob because all I can invision is him playing games at home or at his friends, he had 0 game play when it came to women he didnt do much and I dont check in I quite like my vision of him being alone lol 1
JoelBarish Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) I dunno for me...I probably would be curious, but as of right now I could care less. Why care? WHO CARES? They left you for someone else for some reason. May it be looks, a personality trait you didnt have, time, distance, loneliness, the list goes on.. In the end you'll never really know WHY they left you for this certain person, but know that since they did in fact leave you for another person, that's your cue to move on and find someone better who loves your qualities (all of them) and wouldn't leave you for someone else. Don't bother to compare yourself either. Comparing yourself won't bring your ex back. You'll hurt yourself comparing you to the new beau they have. Just know you have your special and unique qualities and they have theirs..your ex simply favored theirs more than your own. Time to forget about them both and find someone willing to love you and your qualities that you possess yourself. That is true Rice. All that really matters is the people we love have left us. However our minds wander and play tricks on us while we heal. Edited October 2, 2013 by JoelBarish 1
rossi128 Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 After seeing my ex with her new bf on Facebook made me angry and upset me (only weeks after dumping me). That was the catalyst I needed to stop looking and to move on and focus on me. Also, in my opinion she downgraded which made me feel better about myself haha 1
nerdlingZA Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 My ex girlfriend didn't leave me for looks , she left me for needs , at age 17(her) & 18(me) I didn't expect her to need money from a guy .. The guy she left me for has works (he bought her a cellphone & other things that I don't know of) ... So yeah its a need , I look far better than her BF(25) thou.
nerdlingZA Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 My ex girlfriend didn't leave me for looks , she left me for needs , at age 17(her) & 18(me) I didn't expect her to need money from a guy .. The guy she left me for works (he bought her a cellphone & other things that I don't know of) ... So yeah its a need , I look far better than her BF(25) thou. & By the way things are I've given up on her , she won't come back to a school boy. 1
AnyaNova Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I'm not entirely sure that I didn't get dumped in favor of his mother. (Not literally, obviously. Still.
AnnaAnna Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 & By the way things are I've given up on her , she won't come back to a school boy. You are better of without her!
Reels Posted October 3, 2013 Posted October 3, 2013 She cheated on me for a dumb ass characterless guy, he ditched her too, very soon. Funny she will never show up to me, ignore me instead.
Renard99 Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I don't think it was one guy she left me for, it was more like all of them... and, when I found out, it made me care for her even less so its was a good thing in my opinion. Many months after the break up I signed up to a normal dating site, however, this site also ran an 'adult' dating site which was basically just for hook ups and booty calls. After a while on the normal dating site they sent me an email basically saying 'Being as you haven't been successful on our usual site, fancy a bit of fun whilst you search? These ladies in your area are up for a good time.....'. Top match was my ex. There were a number of pics all showing her in various states of undress and a profile stating she'd "come out of a sexless relationship", which is a lie, and now wants to "F*** as many guys as she can". Frankly, any respect I had for her died there and then and any remaining hope I had vanished. 2
Reels Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I don't think it was one guy she left me for, it was more like all of them... and, when I found out, it made me care for her even less so its was a good thing in my opinion. Many months after the break up I signed up to a normal dating site, however, this site also ran an 'adult' dating site which was basically just for hook ups and booty calls. After a while on the normal dating site they sent me an email basically saying 'Being as you haven't been successful on our usual site, fancy a bit of fun whilst you search? These ladies in your area are up for a good time.....'. Top match was my ex. There were a number of pics all showing her in various states of undress and a profile stating she'd "come out of a sexless relationship", which is a lie, and now wants to "F*** as many guys as she can". Frankly, any respect I had for her died there and then and any remaining hope I had vanished. Seriously, very painful.
AnnaAnna Posted October 4, 2013 Posted October 4, 2013 I don't think it was one guy she left me for, it was more like all of them... and, when I found out, it made me care for her even less so its was a good thing in my opinion. Many months after the break up I signed up to a normal dating site, however, this site also ran an 'adult' dating site which was basically just for hook ups and booty calls. After a while on the normal dating site they sent me an email basically saying 'Being as you haven't been successful on our usual site, fancy a bit of fun whilst you search? These ladies in your area are up for a good time.....'. Top match was my ex. There were a number of pics all showing her in various states of undress and a profile stating she'd "come out of a sexless relationship", which is a lie, and now wants to "F*** as many guys as she can". Frankly, any respect I had for her died there and then and any remaining hope I had vanished. Omg, I'm so sorry. That had to hurt a lot! Now at least you know what she's all about.
Renard99 Posted October 7, 2013 Posted October 7, 2013 Omg, I'm so sorry. That had to hurt a lot! Now at least you know what she's all about. It only hurt a for a very short period surprisingly. After that initial hurt I was more angry, especially about the straight up lies about our sex life that were mentioned in her profile. After the anger it was just revulsion as I never saw her as someone who would just go out and spread her legs from anyone. She had tried to come back a little while before and I turned her down because I felt I could never trust her, and having found out she'd been out sleeping with countless guys, I now know I made the right decision. Like I said, in many ways, finding out helped quite a bit. That was back in early 2011 and I'm now with an awesome woman in a relationship that feels fresh even after 2 years
Reels Posted October 8, 2013 Posted October 8, 2013 It only hurt a for a very short period surprisingly. After that initial hurt I was more angry, especially about the straight up lies about our sex life that were mentioned in her profile. After the anger it was just revulsion as I never saw her as someone who would just go out and spread her legs from anyone. She had tried to come back a little while before and I turned her down because I felt I could never trust her, and having found out she'd been out sleeping with countless guys, I now know I made the right decision. Like I said, in many ways, finding out helped quite a bit. That was back in early 2011 and I'm now with an awesome woman in a relationship that feels fresh even after 2 years Lucky guy you are.
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