JoelBarish Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 My birthday is on the 28th. My ex is terrible with remembering dates. She texted me last week on the 18th to wish me happy birthday. I texted back thanks but it's not my birthday. She must have looked it up because she texted something back about it being 10 days early. I ended up texting back and forth with her and saying I missed her and she was cold and eventually the texts stopped and NC since. Anyway my actual birthday is coming up now. I keep thinking she will text me on that day. I want her to so badly. I tell myself that I will ignore her then she will get a taste of me being cold to her. But I realize I am just trying to get a reaction out of her by ignoring her. She probably won't text even if she remembers the right date.
ellowmay Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Even though it seems hard to do this, perhaps try viewing a happy birthday wish as just that. It is a nice gesture if you ignore all the what ifs and possible motives. I think instead of torturing yourself over ignoring her or whether or not she will text you, maybe just enjoy the SH*T out of your birthday, be as happy as possible. Then if you do get a message, a simple thank you will make you both feel validated, and if no message, at least you enjoyed your birthday like it was the last one ever. 4
Author JoelBarish Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Even though it seems hard to do this, perhaps try viewing a happy birthday wish as just that. It is a nice gesture if you ignore all the what ifs and possible motives. I think instead of torturing yourself over ignoring her or whether or not she will text you, maybe just enjoy the SH*T out of your birthday, be as happy as possible. Then if you do get a message, a simple thank you will make you both feel validated, and if no message, at least you enjoyed your birthday like it was the last one ever. Thank you for the words of encouragement. If she doesn't text I know I will feel rejected all over again. But you are right, it's more important that I enjoy the day.
AnyaNova Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Can you try to challenge yourself to see if you can enjoy your birthday and have a totally kick *## day no matter what she does, whether it is nothing, text, card, gift, screaming like a banshee etc.? You deserve that. You deserve a day where you are free from her and her influence. Especially that one day that you get only once a year! 4
Author JoelBarish Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Can you try to challenge yourself to see if you can enjoy your birthday and have a totally kick *## day no matter what she does, whether it is nothing, text, card, gift, screaming like a banshee etc.? You deserve that. You deserve a day where you are free from her and her influence. Especially that one day that you get only once a year! You're awesome. 1
RiceaRoni Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 OMG your birthday is this week! Hooray! You should celebrate it and not even worry about your ex. She's the least of your worries now...especially on your special day. If she sends something...you can respond with Thank you and then continue NC or just ignore her completely...the choice is yours. Just don't let her ruin your day in anyway. I hope you have one fantabulous birthday! Any plans? Haha 2
Author JoelBarish Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 OMG your birthday is this week! Hooray! You should celebrate it and not even worry about your ex. She's the least of your worries now...especially on your special day. If she sends something...you can respond with Thank you and then continue NC or just ignore her completely...the choice is yours. Just don't let her ruin your day in anyway. I hope you have one fantabulous birthday! Any plans? Haha Thanks! That was a better bday wish than my ex ever gave. I will probably just hang with the fam. Maybe I will get GTA 5! 2
RiceaRoni Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Thanks! That was a better bday wish than my ex ever gave. I will probably just hang with the fam. Maybe I will get GTA 5! Oooo cool. I'm hoping to get that game pretty soon. If you get it, tell me how it is! Haha
AnyaNova Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Sounds like fun. Sounds like a whole lot more fun than dealing with flashbacks from ex-land. Definitely. And maybe, when you get it tomorrow (and if you don't receive it, you should get it) if you're ready. If you're feeling like fun, maybe invite some pretty woman to come over and play it with you. Nothing serious. Nothing soul wrenching. Just some good clean fun flirting? But only if you are ready. If you're not. Your best dude friend(s)?
RiceaRoni Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 I definitely say invite some good guy buddies to play with you. It'll be nice having all guys haha. You can talk about guy stuff too and whatever else guys do 1
Author JoelBarish Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 You guys are great, thank you for all the support. 2
Author JoelBarish Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 EXTREME ANGER!!! I had an errand to run and I not so accidentally drove by my exes friends house. When my ex comes to town, that's where she heads. And sure enough there was my ex and her friend outside getting into my exes car. She was dressed nice. Maybe they are going out...maybe there was a guy with them....who knows. I started feeling anxiety all over again and anger as I drove home. I am severely tempted to look at her FB page so I can just see her with someone else and be done with it. I'm angry because she's in town and not texting me. I'm angry because she's going (somewhere) and living her life just fine without me . I'm angry because she comes to my town at all and I have the chance to run into her whether I want to or not I'm angry because I snooped even though I had a reason to be in that neighborhood anyway. I'm angry because I still had hope for her. I'm angry that I'm not over her yet. I'm angry at myself. Maybe this will kill off what hope I had left . Maybe I've moved from the denial stage to the anger stage. I hope so 5
AnyaNova Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 I am sorry this happened to you. Although, it sounds like you made a decision that might not have been a good choice for you, as well. Anger is not a bad thing in and of itself. It recognizes that you have been wronged and feel wronged. It is what you do with it. The one thing that I want you to promise me, if you can, is that you will not let it affect your birthday tomorrow. Go have a great, totally kick ass birthday that you deserve. Tonight, be angry and sad. But tomorrow. Kick ass birthday. And post as much as you need to! 2
clementyne Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) Happy Birthday for tomorrow, JoelB! Hope you have an awesome day Please don't get upset about seeing your ex and whatever you do, DO NOT check Satan's favourite social network!! I know you're feeling angry right now, and that's ok, but don't let it spoil your bday. It's YOUR special day, so forget HER and concentrate on YOU. Enjoy yourself, go out somewhere nice or just do something fun with the people who really care about you. I know it's hard, but just treat it as a day away from ex-land, where she doesn't exist or matter. Have a great day! And do post and let us know how it went Edited September 28, 2013 by clementyne 1
Author JoelBarish Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 AnyaNova Thank you for being so supportive. You are always there and I am thankful for that. Yeah I made a bad choice. I should have driven a different route so I wouldn't have been tempted to look. At least the anger is good motivation to move on with my life. I tend to be way too forgiving of my ex. I need to remember only the bad when I catch myself looking back. Clementyne You are a blue haired mystery to me. You never post much of your BU but you seem to be doing okay. You are very supportive as well. Thanks for your kind words and wishes. I'm pretty sure I will be spending tomorrow evening playing GTA 5 (if I get it). And that's fine with me if it gets my mind off things. I promise I won't check Satan Book. To all on the forum. I promise I haven't been drinking...lol but I love you guys so much! The dumpers of the world don't deserve any of you ! 1
RiceaRoni Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 EXTREME ANGER!!! I had an errand to run and I not so accidentally drove by my exes friends house. When my ex comes to town, that's where she heads. And sure enough there was my ex and her friend outside getting into my exes car. She was dressed nice. Maybe they are going out...maybe there was a guy with them....who knows. I started feeling anxiety all over again and anger as I drove home. I am severely tempted to look at her FB page so I can just see her with someone else and be done with it. I'm angry because she's in town and not texting me. I'm angry because she's going (somewhere) and living her life just fine without me . I'm angry because she comes to my town at all and I have the chance to run into her whether I want to or not I'm angry because I snooped even though I had a reason to be in that neighborhood anyway. I'm angry because I still had hope for her. I'm angry that I'm not over her yet. I'm angry at myself. Maybe this will kill off what hope I had left . Maybe I've moved from the denial stage to the anger stage. I hope so It's okay to feel angry J. It's parting moving on. And I understand how you feel, However for now let yourself be angry and then find something to calm yourself down. Don't worry about her who knows why she was in your town. Ignorance is sweet bliss. It truly is in circumstances like this. You saw her, feel whatever you're feeling now and then find something to take your mind off of it. GTA would be perfect haha as well as enjoying some time with family and friends (: BTW...Happy Birthday J!!! I hope your special day goes super swell haha Don't let your ex ruin it in any way! It's all about you today 2
loveofhorses1970 Posted September 28, 2013 Posted September 28, 2013 Hopefully, you can use that anger to help yourself with moving on. Happy birthday! 1
AnyaNova Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 I didn't post earlier today because I was really depressed over my stuff and thought that is not the energy you need. :-) I'm in a better mood now and want to wish you a Happy Birthday. I hope it was spectacular and completely ex free! 3
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Happy B-Day. A fellow Libra Mine is Oct 15... 3
AnyaNova Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Joel, where are you? We want to hear how your birthday went!!! *Hopefully you are right now sleeping off the wonderful late night you had playing your new game with your friends!* 1
Author JoelBarish Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 I didn't post earlier today because I was really depressed over my stuff and thought that is not the energy you need. :-) I'm in a better mood now and want to wish you a Happy Birthday. I hope it was spectacular and completely ex free! Thank you for the kind and sincere birthday wish. I had a good birthday. I didn't log on here or think about my ex at all. I checked my phone this morning and she did not contact me and that is ok. Yes I played my new video flame last night. 2
Author JoelBarish Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 Happy B-Day. A fellow Libra Mine is Oct 15... Thank you. I hope you have a good one as well!
Author JoelBarish Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 Hopefully, you can use that anger to help yourself with moving on. Happy birthday! Thank you. I am really trying! 1
Author JoelBarish Posted September 29, 2013 Author Posted September 29, 2013 It's okay to feel angry J. It's parting moving on. And I understand how you feel, However for now let yourself be angry and then find something to calm yourself down. Don't worry about her who knows why she was in your town. Ignorance is sweet bliss. It truly is in circumstances like this. You saw her, feel whatever you're feeling now and then find something to take your mind off of it. GTA would be perfect haha as well as enjoying some time with family and friends (: BTW...Happy Birthday J!!! I hope your special day goes super swell haha Don't let your ex ruin it in any way! It's all about you today Thanks for the wishes break up buddy! I saw some RiceaRoni at the store the other day and thought of you! 2
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