RC77 Posted November 25, 2004 Posted November 25, 2004 Me and my girlfriend were talking on the phone the other day about sex. She asked me what I thought about it and if I was just one of those guys who HAD to get laid before college or if I wanted to find someone I cared about first. I told her it didn't matter when it was, before or during or after, as long as it was with someone I truly cared about. Then she was like, "Yeah, well I don't know, I really want my first time to be with someone I care about... But I think before college is probably too early." So, while I do respect this decision, it kind of worried me. I have had plenty of girlfriends, but none of them can even come close to this one, and I really do, or did want her to be my first experience. I am also worried she is making this decision for the wrong reasons.. IE. she thinks all of her friends would consider her a slut, or maybe she just set an age limit and was like even if I really love someone I wont have sex with them until I am this old and it seems like she feels it is absolutely impossible to avoid pregnancy, I don't know where she got these notions, but I think this might be what she worries about most. Anyways I guess another problem for me is I really do want to spend the rest of high school with her (I am a junior) but honestly I would like to have sex before I graduate. Also we have been dating about 2 months, this is the longest she has ever dated anyone. We have touched each other and she keeps telling me about how sometime we are going to take a shower naked together and all sorts of stuff like that. But to me its like, why is she so comfortable with all of that, but not sex? Also does this mean she will never want me the way I want her? Which brings me to another question.. What do women think of guy virgins? I don't want to be thought of as a loser or anything because I have never had sex and I don't want for a girl to leave more or just stop liking me because of it. Ladies? thoughts?
Author RC77 Posted November 26, 2004 Author Posted November 26, 2004 sorry about double post.. ignore the other thread I guess
magda Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 Well, then why did you tell her it didn't matter when you had sex? Go back and finish the conversation with her. Say, "Why wait until college?" and "Yes I do want to have sex before college, please."
Author RC77 Posted November 26, 2004 Author Posted November 26, 2004 I am afraid if she thinks that I want to have sex with her she will leave me. Should I wait until we have been dating a bit longer to bring it up again?
GirlDown Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 why exactly is it that you say "i would like to have sex before college" is it the timeframe? or is it that you want to have sex because you love her and want to be with her? if that's the case, it shouldn't matter. i think the only way she would leave you because of this issue is if you made it seem like sex is more important than her feelings.
Reckless Posted November 26, 2004 Posted November 26, 2004 As Girldown said, Your girlfriend won't leave you if you express a desire to have sex before college. She'd probably be more than a little surprised if you didn't want to. However, she might leave you if you pressure her to do something she's not ready for. Or she might give in. And then hate you for it. And send you little miniture dolls covered with pins with a picture of your face stuck on them. And then tell her brother/father/cousin. Who will hound you down and shoot you like a dog. Or she could change her mind. And pressure you for sex. Teenage girls are notoriously fickle. This particular teenage girl looks like she's already put on her boogy shoes, so chances are she'll want to dance pretty soon. It's extremely difficult to get into heavy petting (sexually stimulating each other, kissing touching ect) and stop; naked in the shower with you boyfriend might possibly not be the best moment to explain the difference between petting and intercourse. So you both be careful. Bottom line (no pun intended), if she wants to have sex before college she will, if she doesn't she won't. There's not much you can or should do about it except enjoy your time together and understand that love and respect go hand in hand and repect her decision. Of course, you can tell her you would prefere not to wait, but unless she was born yesterday, she already knows that....
Recommended Posts