lauri Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) Hey all, First and foremost thank you so much for all the support you gave me before with my original thread : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/425135-ldr-breakup. I feel I need help to move on from my ex and everything that has happened. The last time I msged her was Aug 28 explaining my feeling maturely and her last message to me was Sept 7th saying she wasn't "a bad person and that people brainwashed me and I chose to not see her in person to let her explain." Maybe I should have met in person, but I was worried she would play another wicked mind game on me. I have deleted her facebook and avoided looking at her, deleted her number and don't have her on any other social media sites. I went on her facebook shortly after I deleted her (through my brother), and I could see she was joking around and posting pictures. I told my brother to delete her asap and have not had the opportunity to do that since...that was my only break of NC. Since she hasn't messaged me, does this mean she doesn't care about what happened between us? Like...she asked me to move home for her and all she did was not want to be with me as soon as I arrived. I know I shouldn't care, but I want to hear the sad cold hard facts that no dumpee wants to hear so it can help me move on. I just think I have way too much time due to not having any work at the moment and trying to find a job. I appreciate any experiences / words that you can all say to me that will help me move forward, as I'm starting to get really sad and its making me think more about this then trying to get a job. How long is this process suppose to take and am I stupid for hoping she will reach out and apologize for what she did. Edited September 24, 2013 by lauri
Author lauri Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 (edited) Its been no contact for 30 days and my ex hasn't reached out to me once since I deleted her on Facebook. She reached out to me daily after I stopped speaking to her to be friends and I never gave her a second chance to meet in person. I guess I feel like I'm starting to regret not meeting with her one last time after a year long LDR. She put them blame on me in her last message saying I threw everything away by deleting her and not giving her my new number, but if after 30 days does this indicate that its over forever and she's moved on? I'm starting to have this urge to call her and tell her I deserved a lot more respect and I didn't deserve what she did to me. I'm struggling to accept I sacrificed and did so much for someone to make it work and it'd all gone..all of it. I need some encouragement, some elimination of the false hope, anything that will help me move on. Edited September 27, 2013 by lauri
hurts2death Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 lauri please..... sit back.. you v been dumped for fo christ.. why you make your brain skip thoughts.... let her initiate contact or you ll be her toy... stay back stay hidden think sth else.. no its not over ....its just 30 days you move on while she will miss you for sure just keep nc. if you call you will ruin that 1% of her comming back through nc.(despite nc beeing for other reason it serves that too) do you want deeply in your heart to delete that 1% possibility even if she treated you s hit . NO so stay nc dont give in brother,, you are already there... -john
Author lauri Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 Thanks John. I think I feel like I didn't say everything I needed to say to her and that she is living her life not realizing what she has done. I kind of want to not have that thought of maybe us getting back together...I feel its eating away at me. The problem for me is I have so much free time and I can't do enough in the day to make me think of other things but her. I just take her not messaging as a sign of her not caring and that's what hurts .. 1
hurts2death Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 lauri i v been there too... think simple... if she wanted you she would express it clearly... she does NOT..... her silence is like-lauri i dont need you i dont care... so stop thinking to change mind to a girl that simply doesnt want you,..... time will teach them...karma will find them....and if not if they loved us they are a call away...so i guess they stopped loving us... so we must not care too unless we dont love ourselfs.. its hard tough cold and s hit and we are not like that....but we must endure brother... stay tough Thanks John. I think I feel like I didn't say everything I needed to say to her and that she is living her life not realizing what she has done. I kind of want to not have that thought of maybe us getting back together...I feel its eating away at me. The problem for me is I have so much free time and I can't do enough in the day to make me think of other things but her. I just take her not messaging as a sign of her not caring and that's what hurts ..
Author lauri Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 She doesn't want to be with me but she did try to reach out to me numerous times but I pushed her away...I'm starting to feel like I made a mistake doing that. I know she only wanted to reach out to me as a "friend" but I feel like because I have been gone for so long if she spent some time with me her feelings would have came back...I don't know...
lindsay1990 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 If her feelings had come back, she would make you know it. Maybe she misses you sometimes maybe she has doubts maybe she doesn't, we have no way of knowing. All we know if what she has told you and shown you which so far is that she is finished. At least for the time being. What I tell myself is: maybe my ex does care, but doesn't care enough. And that's all I need to know. 2
Author lauri Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 If her feelings had come back, she would make you know it. Maybe she misses you sometimes maybe she has doubts maybe she doesn't, we have no way of knowing. All we know if what she has told you and shown you which so far is that she is finished. At least for the time being. What I tell myself is: maybe my ex does care, but doesn't care enough. And that's all I need to know. Good point of view. I'm not gonna break NC...but I don't like feeling like I'm a quitter. I think that her interest level in me is so low that I have no chance of being with her again, which hurts. It just doesn't make sense because we waited so long to be together and she just ends it like that.
lindsay1990 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Good point of view. I'm not gonna break NC...but I don't like feeling like I'm a quitter. I think that her interest level in me is so low that I have no chance of being with her again, which hurts. It just doesn't make sense because we waited so long to be together and she just ends it like that. Doesn't make sense to you, but it very likely makes perfect sense to her whatever her ultimate reasons were.
lindsay1990 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Good point of view. I'm not gonna break NC...but I don't like feeling like I'm a quitter. I think that her interest level in me is so low that I have no chance of being with her again, which hurts. It just doesn't make sense because we waited so long to be together and she just ends it like that. Doesn't make sense to you, but it probably makes perfect sense to her whatever her ultimate reasons were.
Author lauri Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 I think the seeds she planted in my head are still effecting me. She said: 1) She still likes me 2) She doesn't know if we are over 3) We might get back together. Those 3 things she said really stick out in my head and make it hard for me. I think those may just be breadcrumbs as a way to keep me looped in. I'm thinking about this WAY too much...
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