h2man Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) I broke up with my ex cause I think she was seeing someone else - we had only been going out 5-6 weeks, but had been spending every weekend together (great sex, cooking, laughing - all really good and she also had herpes (which I do as well) but one weekend I came over and found two empty dried up glasses of red wine on either side of the bed, and later in bed, a bite mark bruise on the back of her shoulder, and then in the morning, she had to leave early, so she told me to sleep in, and when I went to shower, she usually gave me a stripped towel (which she said was 'for guests' - as she only used white ones) and so after I shower I grab for a towel and there is her white one and a 'wet' stripped one... I txt'ed her saying "thanks for letting me sleep in, but I think I had to use your other lover's towel" thinking she would reply with an answer, but she didn't... I left it until I was supposed to see her again 'maybe' on a Tuesday during the week for a first time (we only saw each other on weekends) but I didn't her from her at all until Tuesday afternoon at 3:30 asking me over for dinner at 6... I felt like a back-up plan 'b' that maybe her weekday boyfriend had cancelled at the last moment and so she text'ed me only 2-3 hours before we were supposed to have dinner... I said I was busy and maybe some other time as I was a bit angry, but didn't want to get into it on the phone... she replied asking "was I busy with one of my other gal-pals" and I lost it and said I was deeply offended to be accused of that (I didn't accuse her outright of sleeping with someone else) and said "Good bye!" and didn't answer her 3 phone calls after that... I text'ed her a day later asking if she wanted to meet up for a chat so we could talk in person, but she said she was over it and had already lined up some dates for the weekend and didn't have time anyway... Problem is, we were perfect in every way - cooking, laughing, sex, and we both had herpes... I feel like maybe I should have just taken second best and been one of her lovers (I actually did have an open relationship once, and it was ok, because it was based on my informed decision as she was honest and told me from the very first date)... or maybe I actually mis-read all the signals and somehow my towel didn't dry in a week, or we had actually had red wine one night (she usually only ever drank white, so someone would have had to bring the red wine, which don't think I ever did - I don't drink much at all) and so maybe I was just imagining it all! Either way, I hate the fact the being an honest, nice guy who assumes you are in a monogamous relationship if you are having sex, is the one who gets the boot and is now single while she still has her lover, and probably others already too... why can't the nice, honest guy ever win? I know I should have handled it differently, but can't luck/fate/chance have a say in helping us nice guys once in a while? I feel like what's the point dating if I can meet someone as perfect as her (except for the sleeping with someone else bit) and it still ends up bad! I really miss her Anyway, thanks for listening... Edited September 24, 2013 by h2man
Philosoraptor Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Well your issue was assuming exclusivity when it was something that should have been discussed. Until the monogomous relationship talk begins, she's welcome to see and do whomever she wishes. 1
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