Gingerlee Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Hello everyone, it's been a while since i've posted here, i think maybe that's a good thing? Today I was clearing up one of my old computers to make room for a new one, and I hovered over a photo album saying "DO NOT LOOK AT THIS" and it was just hundreds of photos and chatlogs with my ex. I cried, and i mean i properly cried over him for the first time in a few months. Reading over his words like they never meant a thing. "I will always love and protect you" "You're the most beautiful girl in the world to me, i'll never let you go." "I can't wait to call you my wife" etc etc. It's been two months NC now. Nearly a year since the breakup, and five months since we last had sex and he told me loved me. There is not a day goes by that I do not think about him. He is moving in with his new girlfriend soon, and the thought of it makes me numb. For the most part, I'm fine. I even had this crazy idea to send him a birthday message, when his birthday isn't even till December. I just don't understand why I'm thinking ahead like this. The fact that he left me during a miscarriage helps a little. And the fact that he said he hated me and that I should leave him alone also helps to remind myself he was a truly horrible person. I just don't understand, when you're with someone for three years, do you ever truly forget them? I'll never know if I ever cross his mind. His new girlfriend has the same name as me, so it's not like he can ever call her my name by accident. Idk, I miss his family. I miss how wonderful it was. /rant 1
heartshapedrocks Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Oh my the dreaded digital photo album Yep I have one of those too. It really stirs it up.... I think I read how our brain gets really triggered by these types of reminders It can certainly stimulate the trauma I mean that is what we went through I try to remind myself of the crap, the dismissal, the disrespect. What they said are just words The old adage that action speak louder than words is very true at least for me. So.... I take one day at a time, be gentle with myself and weaned myself out of putting my ex on a pedestal. We are all human so forgiving is essential to healing for me. I will never forget though or condone what happened. Forgiving is for ME. Treat yourself gentle today Gingerlee...I am at a little over a year too. My ex has someone else and is engaged. There is nothing I can do about it anymore except accept my ex wasn't the person for me and take the lesson. Big hugs your way. 1
Reels Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Gingerlee.. Well, how it can be told, as for me, my broke up happened, about 1.1 years ago, and there hasn't been even single 5 mins when i haven't missed her. My heart cries all time, that i want her back, but is that possible? Especially when she said that "I should had never let u get closer to me" or that "yes, our love was a mistake"... Obviously, i can never forget this all, because i was hurt, while she was probably very happy when she was hurting.
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