TooPatient Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) Been dating a Chinese girl for nearly 5 months. She lives 50 minutes away in downtown Chicago. I have an under-paid but respectable career, she's very well off. We like each other a lot, but she was hesitant to become exclusive at first. About 2 months in, I told her that if she's still not sure if she wants to be exclusive then it's probably best we stop dating, to which she replied that she was ready, but was protecting herself initially and that's why she was hesitant. Also, her parents came from China to visit for 2 months during months 2-3 of our dating. They seem to really like me and I think that helped her decide to go exclusive. I've also met her closest friends more recently and have become good friends with the husband of one of her best friends. We have nice double-dates. We waited 3 months to have sex, but she talks about sex constantly with me, to the point that it's coming off as a bit annoying and tacky. I have some trust issues with her. I'm not sure why b/c I don't have any concrete reasons. Just a gut-feeling, and my gut-feelings have been fairly accurate in the past. All the sex talk is just part of it. She also still has a dating site app on her phone, but she does a match-making business on the side, so that can explain the app. Another thing, when hanging out with her friends (not close friends, but friends none-the-less), a couple of them brought different guys out with them at different times and acted like it was nothing. It makes me wonder if she'd do the same. It seemed like one of the guys was their primary boyfriend. They were quite chummy with both guys tho.. I think the fact that she's so driven and earns so much more than me is a bit intimidating. I don't mind a woman making more than me, but I often worry that her and her friends will want to go do something that is simply out of my budget. She's not great at taking into account that I don't earn nearly as much as her, and she's not the type to offer to pay, ever. Not that I'd let her pay, but it is nice when a girl offers. I earn less than the boyfriends of her friends too...they all seem to date older, well-off white men. My girl has said on a few occasions that as long as I keep her happy and treat her well, money is not an issue. Her father said the same, so I'm happy to have their support. She's invited me to live with her if I find work in the city. We discussed me finding work in the city b/c she needs to be downtown for her clients/work and she earns far more than me, so my job is the disposable one. So I've just been back and forth lately about where to go with this. Yeah I like her a lot, she's really grown on me. She's the first girl that I've been more initially attracted to her personality than looks, but I do think she's pretty. I guess that I feel like a boy-toy to her. There's not much I can do aside from ride this out and see how it goes...I'm just a bit worried I'll get hurt or possibly cheated on. I'm not one to worry about those things tho, I've had one relationship where that was a concern and my gut turned out to be right b/c that girl did cheat on me. I realize this post is all over the place, but that's how my thoughts have gone lately. Just give me some thoughts to bounce off of...I can't talk to my friends about it. (Not sure what happened to the title...maybe it was too long?) Edited September 24, 2013 by TooPatient
Eivuwan Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 How does she treat you usually? I don't like it when one person pays for everything in a relationship (unless one person is without income for whatever reason). It seems so unequal especially when you make less.
Author TooPatient Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Yeah you're right Underground. She's use to dating older guys that probably weren't in top shape. She's actually motivated me to pick up the intensity of my workouts because she really seems to enjoy my physique. It makes me feel like a bit of a boy-toy, but I'm cool with that as long as I'm the only toy she plays with. Eivuwan, she treats me good. She cooks for me, gives me little gifts here and there, and is just generally very sweet. Sexually she's very kind too, she seems to enjoy oral which is a nice change from the girls I usually date that act like it's a chore. I like a girl to offer to pay even tho I rarely let them. I'd only let them pay if they suggested the activity and insisted. She was overly rude once tho. I actually posted about it on here after it happened. On our 3rd date, we had dinner and then walked around...she wanted to check out a Chinese candy shop. She picked out $30 worth of candy and plopped it on the counter with not a thought about paying for it herself. A few dates later she brought up and apologized for how she has this "princess" side to her. She was raised an only child to a wealthy family, so she's been spoiled her whole life. So I brought up the candy thing and she apologized and explained how she's trying to change some things about her princess-side...get better at saying please and thank you...which she's done a good job of. Everything since then has been fine. It's been a tough balance with the financial thing. It's not like I'm a broke dude, I just can't afford to spend like she can...I'm on a budget. Her circle of friends, this particular group of Chinese women look to date financially secure older white men. I'm the black sheep in the group. At least I know that she likes me for me.
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