Kman2468 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) Hello all, I am new here. But maybe I need to hear it from a stranger instead of people I know on what to do... So here it goes, I met this girl last October, we did a lot of texting. Basically texted all day everyday. She was single at the time we started talking, but was going to get back wit her ex. So she got back with her ex like a week or two later. They fought and broke up about every month or so. They were on and off for a year..And we continued talking and talking. We became best friends and I started to like her.. Well then I started to make mistake of buying her things before she was mine.. I spent a lot on her. Everytime they broke up or fought she would have me come over to cheer her up. Which of course I did cause we were best friends and I really liked her..well she always said me and her will never date blah blah blah. So I thought I was friendzoned for good.. Well then starting in June. They broke up and were not even talking.. And me and her were hanging out everyday. Well finally end of June she started to like me. And July 13th we finally started dating after 9 long hard months of trying. Well I then got switched to third shift, and she was upset about it because she hated when we weren't sleeping together, which I felt same way, I tried to make best of it. I would get off work at 6 go home and sleep for 4 hours just to go to her house to hang out with her.. Well I thought things we're going great. We we're happy doing stuff all the time. Then one night we both got drunk, just got done having sex, and she looks at her phone and then goes upstairs, well I wanted to see time so I looked at the phone, and see a text to a GIRL saying I love you babe. So I open it, read through some texts, find out she had her ex number underneath a girls name.. So I confront her about it.. And after we have been dating for almost a month she told me she cheated on me first week into dating. I forgave her. Told her to never talk to him again.. Well on our one month. I found her texting him again.. So we fought again, and she broke up with me the next day.. And she said she didn't know what she wanted.. Well like 2 weeks later they were back together.. And now living together..but I know it's not gunna last because they couldn't last before.. But she dumped be to go back to her ex. I went into relationship knowing she wasn't fully over him and excepted it. Knew if she never texted him she would get over him and love me.. She's 19 I'm 21 she was my first relationship, she took my virginity. I truly love this girl to death.. She says she loved me, but I couldn't give her lifestyle she needs.. But yet I did everything for her.. I dropped everything to help her out, I spent almost 5k on her In the 10 months I knew her.. I was always there when no one else was. But now she's with her ex, who hates me btw, he waves at me everytime he sees me cause he knows it pisses me off.. Basically she won't talk to me anymore and she treats me like I'm dirt.. But I think it's because she's with him.. We have been broke up for a month and a half, and I am still having the toughest time getting over her, even tho she lied and cheated on me. I still want her back.. Do you guys actually think she will come back? Once the things I did for her stop, and she will realize how good she did have it with me? How do I get over her? I've tried everything but, then everything brings me back to her, she says she will never come back to me, but she's said that a million times to me before to. And as of right now if she did come bak to me I would take her back.. But I don't know why.. Edited October 12, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Purepony Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 First things first you need to take care of yourself. Go nc! Vent here and you can get over her but it's going to take some time.let her go and just focus on you wile you wait.
fonthoto Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 First, to get her back you need to also get over her. What do I mean by getting over her? I mean that you should be perfectly fine with or without her. If you place your happiness in the hands of another person, the control for how you feel is in her hands (not good). You need to realize that you can NEVER make another person responsible for your happiness. It seems that the reason she is no longer with you is because you have acted too needy - buying her expensive gifts, texting her all the time, always being available. This behavior pushes women away. It is like a salesman trying to sell you something. She knows that you want something from you. She can feel it. To get her back you MUST stop this behavior. You need to stop TRYING. You need to move on with your life and work on yourself so that you can be happy with or without her. When you no longer NEED her in your life and can be happy with or without her - you will increase your chances of getting her back + you can also be okay if the relationship should not work out. You can read my story about how I got my ex-girlfriend back here: http://winyourloverback.com Hope this helps. 1
Author Kman2468 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Well do you guys even think I should hope for her to come back? Or you think I deserve better.. Everyone says I do, and they said she used me.. I mean I want her back, but everyone says I shouldn't.. But this being my first real relationship I don't really know how to move on and just forget about her?
Mariposa10 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 You should run like the wind, she seems to be very immature and confused. How can she go from being your best friend/girlfriend to treating you like dirt. Her ex might've just wanted to get back with her to boost his ego. This entire situation is too much. You're in the middle of a really bad situation (your ex and the ex/now boyfriend) You're young, be happy you got to experience having a relationship for the first time. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Do not wait for her, would you take her back just so she can cheat on your again and break up with you? It's not worth it, this is too much drama you shouldn't put up with. Good luck stay strong, and yes you do deserve something better!
Stealth3 Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Dude, you should never accept her back ever. Just stop contacting her and forget about her. This isn't about getting her back, its about respecting yourself. If you want the truth, yeah she will come back to you, its a matter of time. The main question should be...do I want her back? And the answer should be no. It's a hard situation but she crossed too many red lines. You can't take somebody back after crossing all those red lines.... because even if you do, it will never EVER work out in the end, ever. If you take her back, this is what is going to happen: 1) She sees you as a doormat, a guy who can't stand up for himself and she will never respect or love you. She will only use you and do everything she did all over again. 2) Even if she changed, you will still never trust her like you used to. You will always have doubts and that will lead to problems and sooner or later you will break off again. So what is it going to be? Doormat or always living in doubts? I'm telling you what it should be, and that's you moving the F on and finding a better girl. Look at your ex for what she is, a stepping stone for you to succeed in finding a much better girl. My 2 cents... 1
Author Kman2468 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 Thanks for your guys advice. I had to hear it from a stranger to make it click. And everyday that goes by, I hear how much she lies to me and other people to. And she just got done texting me telling me it's never gunna happen again, she's never coming back to me, her and her bf are looking for a house. She told me to get F'd calling me an a-hole.. But her being a huge b*tch finally made me realize she is just a confused little girl who is messed up in the head, and clearly does not want to live a great life. I know they won't last, history proves it. And she can say all that stuff to me, but I know she will come back, and I will now tell her to F off
Chi townD Posted September 27, 2013 Posted September 27, 2013 Save those texts and if she ever tries to come back, show her the texts and walk off. 2
Author Kman2468 Posted September 27, 2013 Author Posted September 27, 2013 I am hoping I never have to talk to her or see her again. But fact that she now lives a mike away from me makes it harder. But that's alright. If she does come back to me, I now have a reason to tell her to F off.
Author Kman2468 Posted October 12, 2013 Author Posted October 12, 2013 Well as sad as it is. It's been almost 2 months and I am still kind of stuck on her.. We haven't talked besides the occasional she texts me to yell at me. Other than that no talking. Don't know why I am stuck on her so much
h0000 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Well do you guys even think I should hope for her to come back? Or you think I deserve better.. Everyone says I do, and they said she used me.. I mean I want her back, but everyone says I shouldn't.. But this being my first real relationship I don't really know how to move on and just forget about her? Im sorry..when did you have a real relationship? Or any relationship? oh..maybe you had a one week exclusive relationship.. I can imagine the only reason she comes back is because you buy her stuff. But even so, she will soon go back with her ex, or find someone else,but not you. She doesnt have feelings for you. She will just use you as a rebound. I know you cant just switch off your feelings even though she's not worth it. they are like drugs. they can get us so high but they eventually kill us. stay strong. get rid of your addition.
Salvatore85 Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Well as sad as it is. It's been almost 2 months and I am still kind of stuck on her.. We haven't talked besides the occasional she texts me to yell at me. Other than that no talking. Don't know why I am stuck on her so much Don't beat yourself up man, it happens. My ex and I broke up in Feb. and I still think about her everyday, think about texting her, question what went wrong and then I just start to remember how crappy she treated me. It hurts and it's rough but you'll truly meet someone better if you take the chance. Find someone who values you as a partner and a human-being not a person who cheats on you and continues emotionally cheating after you gave her a chance to make it right. You're a good person, don't waste your time on someone who doesn't appreciate having that type of person in their life. One day when you've moved on and you're happy with someone new she will regret her mistake but you'll never know because you won't even care.
JoelBarish Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 She will come back alright, to take your money. She has never done anything but use you, lie to you and cheat on you. This ex of hers sounds like a real winner. They deserve each other. You are stuck on her due to your lack of experience and options. Do whatever it takes to gain more experience with women so you will see what it's like to be with a woman who respects you. You seem really inexperienced with dating and I imagine it must be hard for you to meet new women. You have to put yourself out there more and not fear rejection.
Chi townD Posted October 12, 2013 Posted October 12, 2013 Why the hell would she text you to yell at you periodically for the last two months....unless you've been texting her first...breaking NC, huh?
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