AnyaNova Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 And tell him how used I feel! I know it's a terrible idea. I have no idea if it is even true. I'm just doubting everything and my urge for an answer, an explanation is overwhelming. I don't remember feeling crazy before beginning to date him. How is he making me so crazy now?
Oldcatskinner Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 AnyaNova, He's not making you crazy. It is the situation and your heart and mind fighting that is making you crazy. You'll get through this; you said that you don't remember being crazy before the relationship. Key: These are feelings. Feelings come and go. They have to be nurtured to remain. Following your posts, you ARE making progress! You are realizing that you are in doubt, and the vortex of feelings stemming from your situation that overwhelm you! Like I've typed before, please don't contact him when you are in a rash way. If you aren't in control of yourself, then the outcome is a toss of the dice as you sure aren't in control of him, and YOU CAN NEVER BE IN CONTROL OF SOMEONE ELSE'S DECISIONS EVEN ON YOUR BEST DAY. Hang in there! 4
Author AnyaNova Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 I just really doubt now. Did I fall for a big act? Is he having a great laugh now? Which of his actions do.i believe, all the signs of pain at sending me away or sending me away? Is he happy now? Am I left suffering while he worked it all out on that damned Friday night? I'm used to being calm and in control. I don't do this feeling stuff well. And I really think just knowing the truth could hello me keep my feelings in control. Hence the strong desire to contact him. I didn't deserve to be be put in this situation! I have experienced so much pain in my life. And he knows it. When do I get to feel normal again?
Oldcatskinner Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I just really doubt now. Did I fall for a big act? ^^^ Perhaps. But it wasn't all bad all the time; you must have seen some good in him and that shows you can be a caring and loving person. Is he having a great laugh now? ^^^ Would this matter much? If he isn't, he may be in pain himself and needs the time and space to get his business in order. If he is, life has a way of taking care of these circumstances. We may not be around to see it happen, though. Which of his actions do.i believe, all the signs of pain at sending me away or sending me away? Is he happy now? Am I left suffering while he worked it all out on that damned Friday night? ^^^ You believe the action. I'm used to being calm and in control. I don't do this feeling stuff well. And I really think just knowing the truth could hello me keep my feelings in control. ^^^ How would you know what the truth is? Hence the strong desire to contact him. I didn't deserve to be be put in this situation! I have experienced so much pain in my life. And he knows it. When do I get to feel normal again? ^^^ When you work through it.
Minneloa Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I just really doubt now. Did I fall for a big act? Is he having a great laugh now? Which of his actions do.i believe, all the signs of pain at sending me away or sending me away? Is he happy now? Am I left suffering while he worked it all out on that damned Friday night? I'm used to being calm and in control. I don't do this feeling stuff well. And I really think just knowing the truth could hello me keep my feelings in control. Hence the strong desire to contact him. I didn't deserve to be be put in this situation! I have experienced so much pain in my life. And he knows it. When do I get to feel normal again? I really feel you on the desire to know the truth. I have struggled mightily with "the story," as it were, and all the lingering questions I have both about the relationship itself and the breakup. I have done a fair amount of rehash with my family & friends, and we have come up with some pretty decent narratives. I have, however, managed to resist the impulse to solicit my ex's input. Why? Because I realized that his truth is not necessarily the same as mine, and contacting him would only raise more questions. Moreover, nothing he could say would take away the simple fact that our relationship is over. This is a long-winded way to say: the desire to know the truth is natural, but ulimately futile. There are many truths, and we all tell ourselves stories we can live with. So, I recommend that you talk with your inner circle, come here to rant, and keep the focus as much as humanly possible on yourself rather than your ex. The immediate aftermath of a breakup can be so brutal. But you will make it! Hugs! M. 3
Author AnyaNova Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 I did. Hold out. I didn't contact him. Still wondering if I was used. Still hurting. But through posting here was able to contain it. Without you guys and this forum I know that I would have immediately. Thank you. Last night was particularly bad. 1
JoelBarish Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I did. Hold out. I didn't contact him. Still wondering if I was used. Still hurting. But through posting here was able to contain it. Without you guys and this forum I know that I would have immediately. Thank you. Last night was particularly bad. I can tell it must have been bad. I actually got some sleep for once so I wasn't here to reply. It seems that RiceaRoni found out about her ex. Sounds like she is really hurting.
RiceaRoni Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I can tell it must have been bad. I actually got some sleep for once so I wasn't here to reply. It seems that RiceaRoni found out about her ex. Sounds like she is really hurting. I am hurting, but I'm more upset above anything right now... I'm glad you held out AN I know how difficult it must be. Stay strong dear. You have us here on LS. Whenever you get that urge or are tempted, just come straight onto here and write to your hearts content. 1
JoelBarish Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) I am hurting, but I'm more upset above anything right now... I'm glad you held out AN I know how difficult it must be. Stay strong dear. You have us here on LS. Whenever you get that urge or are tempted, just come straight onto here and write to your hearts content. Yeah I used you as an example. Sometimes I feel like a broken record with all of us telling each other why we need NC. That's why sometimes it's better just to point out someone else who has recently been burned. Rice I think maybe you have moved from the denial stage to anger. I am afraid I am still in denial...waiting for her to text but it never comes. Edited September 24, 2013 by JoelBarish 1
Author AnyaNova Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Second verse. Same as the first. Figured I wouldn't clutter up the forum with a new message. It looks like I tried to go back to class to early. My lungs took a turn for the worse and it looks like I will probably be stuck home for a few more days. He is the one friend I have who is not so bloody serious minded like myself (I mean, in a way, he is, given his MBTI type) but for some reason the two of us together can really make each other laugh. I need that right now. I miss that. And I just really want to talk to him, know that I can't, and I really wish he would call me. Just to talk.
JoelBarish Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Second verse. Same as the first. Figured I wouldn't clutter up the forum with a new message. It looks like I tried to go back to class to early. My lungs took a turn for the worse and it looks like I will probably be stuck home for a few more days. He is the one friend I have who is not so bloody serious minded like myself (I mean, in a way, he is, given his MBTI type) but for some reason the two of us together can really make each other laugh. I need that right now. I miss that. And I just really want to talk to him, know that I can't, and I really wish he would call me. Just to talk. Sounds like you need to find a funny movie to watch
Author AnyaNova Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 That actually is a great idea. But one without any romantic plots? Grr. I am tired of missing him. Tired of missing his voice. His laugh.
RiceaRoni Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 That actually is a great idea. But one without any romantic plots? Grr. I am tired of missing him. Tired of missing his voice. His laugh. It's okay to miss him. Just try living your life the best way you can right now (: as for trying to laugh...like J said, funny movies are a way to go haha Or you can look for a sitcom to watch on TV haha Be strong.
JoelBarish Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 That actually is a great idea. But one without any romantic plots? Grr. I am tired of missing him. Tired of missing his voice. His laugh. I can't think of a funny movie without a romantic sub plot of some kind. Maybe Identity Thief?
RiceaRoni Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 I can't think of a funny movie without a romantic sub plot of some kind. Maybe Identity Thief? One that made me laugh was This Is the End. It has no romantic plot in it.
Author AnyaNova Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Thanks for the suggestions. Depending on what happens tomorrow, after I am done at the doctor and have done a bunch of studying, I will probably give these a try. Right now, though, my brain kicked in and realized that if my lungs aren't doing well at the moment, trying to do a bunch of laughing, even if it is what would make me feel emotionally better, could be really detrimental. I am really glad that this is here. I think without it, I know I would have caved and contacted him. 2
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