Dave555 Posted November 25, 2004 Posted November 25, 2004 Is it possible to cheat on your husband and be in love with him? If you have sex with another man and feel guilty while it's going on, maybe that's a sign you still love him. But if you are able to give yourself over fully to him and get maximum enjoyment out of the sex, can you really be in love with your husband?
immoralist Posted November 25, 2004 Posted November 25, 2004 Love and fidelity are not synonymous. It's very possible not to love one's spouse--yet remain faithful. On the other hand, it's very possible to love one's spouse--yet be unfaithful. Also, it's possible to love more than one person at a time. Fidelity, while perhaps a sign of love, is not an essential predicate for love. People have complicated affectional systems, needs and desires. Regardless of what the Virtue Hawks preach on these boards life is much more complicated than what we think.
Owl Posted November 25, 2004 Posted November 25, 2004 Sex and love are obviously not the same thing. Marriage and honesty and commitment are. Good luck.
jmargel Posted November 29, 2004 Posted November 29, 2004 Everyone will have their own opinion. Personally you can't be in love with someone while cheating on them (note there is a difference between being 'in love' and just loving someone. IMO a successful relationship needs both). You may 'love' them as a person, but not to the extent you should to be in a committed relationship. In order to be in a worthwhile relationship, ie. where both parties get the amount of love, encouragement, security, honesty one should not cheat. This makes the relationship less valueable. And honestly, IMO you can't love or be in-love with two people at the same time. Love is totally dedicating your heart to one individual. You may 'care' for another person, but there is a big difference between caring and being in love. Sounds like your questions relate to a problem you are having?
sylviaguardian Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 From what I have read on these boards it seems that many people who cheat put the relationships in 'boxes'. They seem to think that what they do with one person does not affect how they feel about the other. I would say that it is possible to love someone and sleep with someone else. Sylvia
michelangelo Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 I think it is possible that someone can figure out a way to hav sex with another person even while married. They just figure that they're so clever they will never get caught, so go for it. Or, they figure that the pleasures they may find in another's arms will be worth the pain they inflict on their spouse. Supreme selfishness and audacity. I think some even convince themself that they are makng their marriage better this way.
Sweetz Posted November 30, 2004 Posted November 30, 2004 Originally posted by Dave555 Is it possible to cheat on your husband and be in love with him? If you have sex with another man and feel guilty while it's going on, maybe that's a sign you still love him. But if you are able to give yourself over fully to him and get maximum enjoyment out of the sex, can you really be in love with your husband? If you are in bed with another man and feel guilty, then you would stop, pack your things, and leave and never see him again. But we all know this ain't true! It's impossible to be in love with your husband and be with someone else.
wizzawhat Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 "And honestly, IMO you can't love or be in-love with two people at the same time. Love is totally dedicating your heart to one individual. You may 'care' for another person, but there is a big difference between caring and being in love." This is so true...
lilmoma1973 Posted December 7, 2005 Posted December 7, 2005 Sex and love are obviously not the same thing. Marriage and honesty and commitment are. Good luck. Totally agree with Owl !! I don't see how one can do that to someone they love !! I think if you do that you are thinking about yourself and not the feelings of another !! This is plain selfish and inconsiderate.. If you want to be with someone else then leave the spouse and get a divorce to pursue another relationship because when you stay in a relationship and cheat it can cause more problems !! Go to marriage counseling and fess up to what you did and see why you did it!! Maybe you was getting something emotional from this person that your spouse wasn't giving you and the other person was!!
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