sjm Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Hi All, I donated my $20,000 Steven Khalil couture made dream dress last to charity.. Didn't feel right keeping it, will never want to wear it if I ever get engaged again. Didn't have the heart to throw it out. I guess it gave me abit of closure that even though my fairytale wasn't real I just made somebody else's dream come true.. Now the ring, what do I do with it? He hasn't asked for it, he ended the relationship. I've asked him if I can return it to him before and he pretty much ignored me. Selling it would make me feel dirty. Donate it too?
reddragon588 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Hi All, I donated my $20,000 Steven Khalil couture made dream dress last to charity.. Didn't feel right keeping it, will never want to wear it if I ever get engaged again. Didn't have the heart to throw it out. I guess it gave me abit of closure that even though my fairytale wasn't real I just made somebody else's dream come true.. Now the ring, what do I do with it? He hasn't asked for it, he ended the relationship. I've asked him if I can return it to him before and he pretty much ignored me. Selling it would make me feel dirty. Donate it too? This is a tough question and I honestly have little experience to say I'm qualified to answer it. But I would probably have a friend or family member serve as an intermediary and ask him if he wants it returned. If that doesn't elicit a response, then I would suggest selling it or also giving it to charity. At that point you will have given every possible honest effort to try to return it. 1
BC1980 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 You could always sell it and donate the money to charity.
CarrieT Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 You could have the stones removed and fashioned into a new and different piece of jewelry. 1
Copelandsanity Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 You should try to sell it just for the experience of realizing how little a diamond is actually worth
Misfortune Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I would sell it, donate it, give it to someone else or trash it. My ring became a piece of useless metal once my marriage was over. I just wore it because of what it symbolized but there's no point in keeping it once things are over.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Find a way to get it to him. You don't want it, and he should really get it back. I say this as someone who didn't get his back after being dumped. I could have if I really pressed, but it wasn't worth it to me. She can keep it if she wants. Granted, this ring (beautiful as it was) wasn't super expensive, so... If he wants it, find a way... 1
Balzac Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Talk w your jeweler. Donating the ring or the funds but I'm guessing more write off from the ring itself.
Author sjm Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Find a way to get it to him. You don't want it, and he should really get it back. I say this as someone who didn't get his back after being dumped. I could have if I really pressed, but it wasn't worth it to me. She can keep it if she wants. Granted, this ring (beautiful as it was) wasn't super expensive, so... If he wants it, find a way... Ideally I would love to give it back. Should I keep pushing even though he didn't reply? Don't want him to think I'm making an excuse to contact.
emva07 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 have someone you know go put it in his mailbox?
reddragon588 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Ideally I would love to give it back. Should I keep pushing even though he didn't reply? Don't want him to think I'm making an excuse to contact. That's where the friend or family member could be helpful. You could still give him the chance to get it back without him thinking you're just trying to contact him.
Balzac Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Your jeweler can hold it in the vault and do the contacting.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 ^^^ All three above are excellent ideas
Author sjm Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 That's where the friend or family member could be helpful. You could still give him the chance to get it back without him thinking you're just trying to contact him. This is a great idea, I'd have to ask a friend though. I asked my dad and his response was "no if he wants it he is welcome to come and pick it up but in no way will I chase him to give it back" The thing is my fiance, well ex fiance, didn't end it in a pleasant way but more like stopped responding to me one day and then next thing you know I get a call from our reception confirming our wedding is cancelled. He was very close to my family, they cleaned and cooked for him, they did everything they could to make him feel apart of the family so they are pretty hurt too. That's why I'm not to sure whether I should keep trying to give it back to him. I feel kind of stupid respecting him and doing the right thing by him when he gave me no respect at all. I don't know what to do, I want to do the right thing. I don't want to keep it or make a cent out of it so i think its pretty much either give it back or charity.
Author sjm Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 have someone you know go put it in his mailbox? I am scared it will get stolen?
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Take the high road. Give it back as previously described and move on. Think no more of it...
Author sjm Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Your jeweler can hold it in the vault and do the contacting. Already kind of tried this. Before we broke up I had put the ring in to get polished and etc before the wedding, then we broke up in that two week period. They called me asking me to come pick it up when it was done and I explained the situation and asked them to call him. They kept calling me saying he wasn't answering or responding to their voice mail messages so I went and picked it up. Then I messaged him saying do you want it back and he said yeah that would be great thanks but whenever I've made contact to organize a time to drop it off I get no response. Is he even worth it..
Author sjm Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Take the high road. Give it back as previously described and move on. Think no more of it... I'll try again
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Before we broke up I had put the ring in to get polished and etc before the wedding, then we broke up in that two week period. They called me asking me to come pick it up when it was done and I explained the situation and asked them to call him. They kept calling me saying he wasn't answering or responding to their voice mail messages so I went and picked it up. Give it to the jeweler again, and let them know that this now legally and financially belongs to him and to please help out by holding it and trying to contact him again until he picks it up... Maybe set a two week or month period with the jeweler and if he doesn't respond, then have someone drop it in his mailbox and if it disappears... oh well!
Chris715 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Ideally I would love to give it back. Should I keep pushing even though he didn't reply? Don't want him to think I'm making an excuse to contact. Like someone else said above, use a family member or friend as an intermediary. If he want's it back, have them carry out the exchange and it's done with. If he doesn't, then do whatever will make you feel best. Refashioning it, selling it, charity, it's up to you. And I realize you're probably tempted to use this as an excuse to break NC. Don't!
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