PinkCarnations Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 This guy drives me nuts.. Things would be easier if I wasn't so attracted to him. I met this guy online 3 months ago - he messaged me first. Things were great. It's not that I'm looking for the ideal guy, but he was pretty much ideal. I thought he was cute, educated, career-oriented, and had a bunch of other traits that I've been wanting in a guy. Anyways, we texted a lot and talked on the phone 2-3 times. Each time, I felt like attraction was oozing through the phone. I even looked up our horoscope compatibility out of boredom, and it said we were a "match made in heaven." I'm a hopeless romantic. *sigh* Anyways, so for the past 2-3 months, we had NOT met up. Weekdays were impossible due to our conflicting work schedule. On weekends, either he was away for work, visiting family or I would be on vacation, visiting family as well, etc. The times when we were both in town together, we never got around to meeting up either.. For instance, once he asked me on a Saturday what I was doing. Before I got to replying, he randomly told me he was at some bar with his friends and kept asking where I was. I didn't really liked the fact that he was hinting at meeting up last minute while he was out with his friends, so I wasn't responsive. A similar thing happened a second time, except I actually told him where I was, and he said he was going to head into that part of town where I was. I told him to come out to the bar I was at.. but he wasn't responsive.. I even called him, but he didn't pick up. He texted me the next morning at 5am and said his phone was dead and hoped that I survived the night. I'm pretty sure his phone wasn't dead, but whatever.. maybe he just figured i'd be weird to meet up last minute while I was out with my girlfriend. Anyways, I felt like as time dragged on, there was less inclinatin to meet up because of who knows - maybe the pressure of FINALLY meeting up with someone you've gotten to know for some time? Also, the more distant he became, the more aloof I acted. Some things about him that make me feel ambivalent: - Flaked on me at the beginning because of work - Hinting at meeting up while he was out at bars instead of asking me out on a proper date - Being flirtatious in a manner that I thought was sorta sexual (he kept saying "want me to come tuck you in" - what??? Anyways, I always changed the subject or responded very flatly to his flirtations because I am not a "one night stand" kind of girl). I just don't know if he was being flirty or he really thought this could be a friends with benefits ordeal. - Not making the effort to meet up with me! - ignores me sometimes but then would text me out of the blue wishing me a great day other times. Other times, he's very sweet.. says I'm beautiful.. ends most of his msgs with ":)" He is hard to read, and everytime I feel like this is a lost cause, he'll go do something that changes my mind. For instance, he friend requested me on facebook, which means that he actually took the time to look me up (not an easy task as my name is common and I am neither searchable via email address, education, etc). Maybe I am doing something wrong as well - I don't ask him out, I do say I'm pretty busy, doesn't respond to his flritatious behavior, and I have not accepted his friend request.. Last night, after he ignored my text over the weekend, I deleted his number and said for sure that I will never talk to him again, he texted me today, "I hope you have a great day!" Is he merely being polite and I should not respond any more to him or should I try harder to talk to him and give it a chance - what do you guys think? I'm very attracted to him and think about him a lot.. :/
deathandtaxes Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 When either of you laid out your availability to meet for a date, did either of you try to make it happen? Making yourself available is a clear sign that somebody is into you. I'm surprised either of you kept trying after a week or two of misses. It's hard to keep the sizzle alive when you never meet.
truth_seeker Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Well, we know you're into him from what you posted but he probably doesn't know at all! How about taking a chance and opening up to this guy so he knows that you like him?
It's Just Me Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Well, we know you're into him from what you posted but he probably doesn't know at all! How about taking a chance and opening up to this guy so he knows that you like him? I disagree. Dump the arse. He's not into you. Any guy that thinks he can message you last-minute for a date is just keeping his options open. 2
pyramid Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 3 months and you have never managed to meet in person?? Forget it. 3
Copelandsanity Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 2-3 months is a long time to not meet up for a simple get-together. If a guy doesn't make a legitimate effort to meet you soon, he most likely isn't genuinely interested or he's got issues. 1
Rugger1869 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I think I just ran into the female version of this guy. :/
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 After 3 months with no meeting, I'd be looking elsewhere. Your behaviour is hot and cold, too. It doesn't really sound like a match.
MalachiX Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I say this as a guy: He sounds like he's just wants casual sex. That's fine if that's all you're looking for but it doesn't sound like it. The fact that he only wants to see you when you're both out at bars seems to indicate that he doesn't see you as anything more than just a hook-up. He may say sweet things but he doesn't seem all that interested in a proper date. Unless you want an f-buddy (which is totally fine); then I'd move on. 1
Rugger1869 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 LOL. Is anyone else getting the feeling that these random, "good morning, have a great day!" texts are actually generic broadcast texts that he's sending out to a whole group of women all at once who are in his cell phone directory? What a douche. The guy hasn't made an honest effort to plan a date with you because he doesn't WANT to. If a guy is truly interested in a woman, he DOESN'T spend his weekends drinking it up with his buddies at the bar and then calling you at the last minute to hint that you come down and meet him. That just indicates that there aren't any girls to hit in the bar that night so you'd be Plan B. I repeat. What a DOUCHE. This. As Iron Maiden would say, "Run for the hills!"
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Sounds like he's already taken or has another woman/women at his side. 1
Recommended Posts