HeartInPieces Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 ...To break NC. Girl broke my heart after five years, told me she already slept with someone else since our breakup, we said our last good bye a week ago. She then has the nerve to text me asking for help with her computer! I was always there for her to help her out with things like that. Fix things for her around her house, work on her car, fix her computer, etc. I was her man. That was something she always liked about me - I was handy. She dumps me like a piece of trash and thinks I'm still going to help her! WTF??? I really want to tell her off, but I haven't. I'm afraid to burn what's left of my bridge. Other than that, why shouldn't I???
KeepItBoosted Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Don't do it man! Stay NC, she's not your problem anymore. Block her number if you have to. I was in the same boat, it's hard and I know how bad you want to tell her to go F herself. Stay NC and keep moving forward
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 ...To break NC. Girl broke my heart after five years, told me she already slept with someone else since our breakup, we said our last good bye a week ago. She then has the nerve to text me asking for help with her computer! I was always there for her to help her out with things like that. Fix things for her around her house, work on her car, fix her computer, etc. I was her man. That was something she always liked about me - I was handy. She dumps me like a piece of trash and thinks I'm still going to help her! WTF??? I really want to tell her off, but I haven't. I'm afraid to burn what's left of my bridge. Other than that, why shouldn't I??? I did/do a lot of this too. I now realize this is because of low self esteem. I was seeking approval and validation through these types of deeds. "Hey look what I did. I'm good, right? I'm valuable, right?" Not saying this is your case too, but it took my therapist to dig down deep enough to uncover this behavior and the reasons behind it, so I thought I would pass along my experiences as they sound similar to yours... 8
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I've been really feeling the urge lately too. Let's hold strong together and be NC buddies. 2
Author HeartInPieces Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 I guess I do want to feel wanted and valuable, but it's not just about that. I want to know what is going on inside her head. Why does she think this is ok? I guess it didn't help that we were in LC for about two months. Maybe she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it. I ignored her texts asking for help and she sends one final text basically saying thanks for nothing, with a sad face. Well excuse me for not feeling bad for not helping you after you had someone else inside you! UGH!!! 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I guess I do want to feel wanted and valuable, but it's not just about that. I want to know what is going on inside her head. Why does she think this is ok? I guess it didn't help that we were in LC for about two months. Maybe she doesn't think there's anything wrong with it. I ignored her texts asking for help and she sends one final text basically saying thanks for nothing, with a sad face. Well excuse me for not feeling bad for not helping you after you had someone else inside you! UGH!!! Hahaha. My ex did this too. I moved out first, and she helped me with 1 move of SMALL stuff (no furniture). Then, I went NC and didn't offer to help her move (weeks later) and she threw that crap in my face. 1) she never asked me for help, and 2) I did help her pick up a washer and dryer form her coworkers house the same day she helped me with the 1 move. Seems pretty even to me. I think our ex's like to villainize us. I did so, so many things for her. So many. Way more than she ever did for me. Yet, at the end of the RS, all she could do was complain about a few things that she twisted around to look like I was a d1ck to her. That really pissed me off for a long time, but I eventually got over it
J21 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Ignore her. She doesn't deserve a response. You deserve to focus on yourself and heal. You are not somebody's handy man that is available at whim, especially if that person broke your heart. That is a hell no. What ever you do, do not respond to her and focus on moving on. The lack of response is making more of a statement than words ever will. 1
lauri Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 My ex breaks up with me - She starts to message me asking me to call her, that she misses me, etc and I just flat out kept saying sorry I'm busy. When I did eventually call her, she got pissed saying why am I ignoring her and why am I not talking to her. She begins asking when are you going to invite me over for dinner with your parents? I'm like wtf? You break up with me and then want to still act like we are a couple??? Listen man, from my experience, maintain NC as they will just start to say things to throw you off and see what they can get away with. If my ex had any respect for me, she wouldn't have done this bs and either would yours. Don't give in and don't be her go to guy when she has some next dude on the side she has been talking to. Its not our problem anymore.
Gra Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I;m trying not to do it too. Again. I sent an email last Friday just purging all of my feelings (I know, I know . . I should've known better!). He wrote back within a few hours saying he was at work but would respond after reading it. I haven't heard from him since then. It's now Monday night. I REALLY want to text him and ask him where his response is. I honestly believe I deserve one but I don't think it's the right thing to do. If he had something to say, he would respond, right? But then why bother writing back to say he would respond and then not bother. AAAARGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! 1
Author HeartInPieces Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Gra, I went through some similar things before I decided to go NC hardcore... I would text her a question and would get no response or a response a really long time later. All the while, I'm sitting there wondering why no response... what is she doing... oh god, she must be with another man... all this stuff running through my head causing me grief. I am no longer a priority to her and it hurts. So I just stopped. I still really want to talk to her, to ask her things, because I still feel like I don't have closure. But it's best not to
reddragon588 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 I;m trying not to do it too. Again. I sent an email last Friday just purging all of my feelings (I know, I know . . I should've known better!). He wrote back within a few hours saying he was at work but would respond after reading it. I haven't heard from him since then. It's now Monday night. I REALLY want to text him and ask him where his response is. I honestly believe I deserve one but I don't think it's the right thing to do. If he had something to say, he would respond, right? But then why bother writing back to say he would respond and then not bother. AAAARGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! HeartInPieces' response was correct. At first, going full NC is harder than partial contact. But in the long run, partial contact is much, much harder. Would you rather have a lot of pain for a short time, or a lot of pain for a long time? NC is hard, but once you get over the hump, it's smooth sailing. You can do it! All of us on this thread can be NC buddies. I'm at almost a full month now.
kindofsad Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 My ex text me yesterday about computer trouble too!!! It is unbelievable how selfish they can be, or just totally ignorant of the hurt and pain they have caused.
Author HeartInPieces Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 I think I have a good reason. Three months ago, before she actually broke up with me, but was toying with the idea and things were getting rocky... She sent me an email while out of own, reaching out to me about some of her issues and her addiction. She went on to say that she needs me, and that us separating is her easy way out. Tomorrow is exactly three months to the day that she sent this. It seems like the reasons she gave me for actually breaking up are different than what is in this email, but that could just be a coverup. Maybe she regrets sending me this email and doesn't want to acknowledge it. I want to reply to the email, which I still have in my inbox, and just say "Exactly three months ago..." and include the original message. We broke up in early July and I've been NC for a week now. Yes or No? 1
J21 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 (edited) You're trying to find a reason to break NC. Don't start validating and justify a reason to do so. I know the emotions are hard to pull away from, but seriously... what important/special milestone is "exactly 3 months" from when you guys broke up? She crushed your heart, slept with someone else, and then expects you to be available on whim to fix her stuff? Dude, come on man, you aren't a floor mat for someone to walk all over. She is so selfish and undeserving of you. You really want to go back to someone like that and go through all that pain man? I think I have a good reason. Three months ago, before she actually broke up with me, but was toying with the idea and things were getting rocky... She sent me an email while out of own, reaching out to me about some of her issues and her addiction. She went on to say that she needs me, and that us separating is her easy way out. Tomorrow is exactly three months to the day that she sent this. It seems like the reasons she gave me for actually breaking up are different than what is in this email, but that could just be a coverup. Maybe she regrets sending me this email and doesn't want to acknowledge it. I want to reply to the email, which I still have in my inbox, and just say "Exactly three months ago..." and include the original message. We broke up in early July and I've been NC for a week now. Yes or No? Edited September 25, 2013 by J21 1
Author HeartInPieces Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 (edited) I just want her to remember what she wrote to me. Cause I know she's not sticking to it. She needs help. I dunno, 3 months just seemed like a decent time to make her revisit what she said. Is it still NC if I don't add anything? Just paste what she said to me? Lol Edited September 25, 2013 by HeartInPieces
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 I just want her to remember what she wrote to me. Cause I know she's not sticking to it. She needs help. It's neither your job nor concern to help her. She is nothing to you now. Remember that!! 1
Author HeartInPieces Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Yeah I get that, but she reached out to me. Honestly part of me wants to see her crash and burn, with me not there to help her... but I do have a heart
JDPT Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 I just want her to remember what she wrote to me. Cause I know she's not sticking to it. She needs help. You need help, who is helping YOU? 1
Andy555 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Hi, I'm sorry to hear ur situation! My gf broke it off after 6 years wit little explanations and it's soo hard to do nc. She ended it 6 weeks ago and iv gone in and out of contact during this time but take it from me don't send her an email even if u dnt write anythin it is just making things harder for yourself! If she doesn't reply that wil hurt u if she does that wil too cus it won't b wat u wana hear. Iv had to come to th realisation she doesn't want to be wit me, it's so hard cus of the stuff she said wen breakin up, I stil love you, find u attractive etc etc but it's just rubbish. Iv gone 3 days now nc and I'm not contacting her again it's just pointless and puts th healing process on hold!
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 You know it. She knows it. Vegetable lasagna knows it. Love it!!!
Author HeartInPieces Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 just broke NC... ****.
headinthecloud Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 ...To break NC. Girl broke my heart after five years, told me she already slept with someone else since our breakup, we said our last good bye a week ago. She then has the nerve to text me asking for help with her computer! I was always there for her to help her out with things like that. Fix things for her around her house, work on her car, fix her computer, etc. I was her man. That was something she always liked about me - I was handy. She dumps me like a piece of trash and thinks I'm still going to help her! WTF??? I really want to tell her off, but I haven't. I'm afraid to burn what's left of my bridge. Other than that, why shouldn't I??? All that energy that you want to give her would be better spent on you. Anything you say to her won't convince her or change her mind. Plus, it won't make you feel better in the long run if she ignores you.
Author HeartInPieces Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Ok so yes I had a weak moment of anger, jealousy and loneliness and I broke nc. She did respond to me. And I'm just even more confused. I confronted her on a few things and I accused her of leaving me to date someone else. She said that she didn't want to respond but she did to tell me that there isn't someone else. Everything else unanswered. Wtf ? why?
Andy555 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I get th same treatment from my ex, if I contact her she just ignores mostly wat I'm sayin and just tries to start a totally different conversation. They don't want to explain themselves to us and they feel thy don't hav to anymore which I guess they don't. It's so hard to take they just don't giv a s*** anymore but I guess its true. So for yourself you need to not contact her again I'm doin th same iv gone 5 days now! It wil get easier I don't want to give up but iv tried my best and there is nothing eles to do but try and move on!
reddragon588 Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 Ok so yes I had a weak moment of anger, jealousy and loneliness and I broke nc. She did respond to me. And I'm just even more confused. I confronted her on a few things and I accused her of leaving me to date someone else. She said that she didn't want to respond but she did to tell me that there isn't someone else. Everything else unanswered. Wtf ? why? Your search for answers only led to more questions. This is the reason why not to break NC. Now you know and can grow
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