Found out gf's past and need to vent

[Vinnieb]

No, I didn't tell him. I don't put business out there like that

[MrCastle]

No, I didn't tell him. I don't put business out there like that

 

No. Only on a public forum where your identity is protected.

[Purepony]

Wow i thought this was a free country but i guess not haha

[Vinnieb]

And like I said, replace black guy with girl. Either way it's something I'll never be, THAT'S the real issue.

[ExpatInItaly]

And like I said, replace black guy with girl. Either way it's something I'll never be, THAT'S the real issue.

 

You need to work on your insecurity. That's at the root of all of this.

[MrCastle]

Wow i thought this was a free country but i guess not haha

 

It certainly is. OP is in his right to have racist tendencies and others are in the right to call him out for it.

 

No one is editing his posts or muting his speech.

 

His opinion is being met with differing opinions.

[Misfortune]

I believe that OP is one of those posters who adds things on to their story when others don't share their views. There is a new addition that couldn't possibly have made it into the 1st post. What a coinkydink! -_-

 

- asking your friend about staying with his girl if she was with a white man(what does that have to do with said "dad" issue?)

-Doesn't matter what race you use, I would still consider you a racist based on your posts when you single out that race.

 

Just because she hid her relations with a black guy when she was younger, does not mean she doesn't like other races. What young person never did anything that their parents disliked? She's old enough now to make her own decisions without worrying about her dad's ridicule. Are you also afraid that she'll sleep with a lot of people since her dad doesn't know that? You're intent on making a mountain....

[Vinnieb]

You need to work on your insecurity. That's at the root of all of this.

 

I believe you and agree with you. Nobody can control their feelings tho. Like I said, I just feel as if it wasn't for her father I wouldn't be her choice.

[Vinnieb]

I believe that OP is one of those posters who adds things on to their story when others don't share their views. There is a new addition that couldn't possibly have made it into the 1st post. What a coinkydink! -_-

 

- asking your friend about staying with his girl if she was with a white man(what does that have to do with said "dad" issue?)

-Doesn't matter what race you use, I would still consider you a racist based on your posts when you single out that race.

 

Just because she hid her relations with a black guy when she was younger, does not mean she doesn't like other races. What young person never did anything that their parents disliked? She's old enough now to make her own decisions without worrying about her dad's ridicule. Are you also afraid that she'll sleep with a lot of people since her dad doesn't know that? You're intent on making a mountain....

 

Like I said, I found out about the father issue last night.

[Misfortune]

I feel that had my ex's mom not decided against getting an abortion, we never would've had a relationship?

 

If I had not been employed at that specific place, we would've never met each other. Now I wonder if she really wanted to meet me.

 

You're worrying about a bunch of shoulda, woulda, coulda and ifs.

 

You're the guy that she wants to be with right now. Do you believe that her dad also told her to pick you specifically?

[Vinnieb]

I feel that had my ex's mom not decided against getting an abortion, we never would've had a relationship?

 

If I had not been employed at that specific place, we would've never met each other. Now I wonder if she really wanted to meet me.

 

You're worrying about a bunch of shoulda, woulda, coulda and ifs.

 

You're the guy that she wants to be with right now. Do you believe that her dad also told her to pick you specifically?

 

No, just my race.

[Quiet Storm]

She also told me that back in school before this guy that she was talking to another black guy but didn't and couldn't do anything with him because of her father. So now I have thoughts in my head that she's just settling with me because her father is keeping her from what she really wants. By the way, we're both in our early 30's.

 

Ok you know what, replace "black guy" with "white girl", let's say her father doesn't approve her of being with another girl. Would that make me a sexiest? Regardless if you guys think I'm racist or whatever, being a black guy or white girl is something I can never be and it just feels like I'm not really what she wants because shes respecting her fathers choice.

 

OK- answer this question for me? Have you lost any respect, admiration or attraction for her due to her revelation?

 

Or are you still attracted to her and want to be with her, but are insecure about her attraction to you? You think women can't be attracted to men of both races? You can't feel if your woman is attracted to you?

 

It's possible you are right. She might really want a black guy and not a racist white guy like you. I have been with my husband 22 years. I've had different friends and aquaintences make comments to me about being with a black guy, but not be able to overcome the family/father stuff. So there are white women out there that are genuinely attracted to black men (gasp), but this doesn't mean they don't find white guys attractive, too. Don't sell yourself short.

 

If you've lost respect for her, then just let her go. She deserves to be with someone that treasures her.

[Misfortune]

OP had these black thoughts before finding out this dad thing. Her being with a black greatly affected him before finding this out. I'm sure he didn't go back to his friend and reasked the question with that circumstance included.

 

"Would you think someone really wants to be with you if their parents forbid them from dating a certain race?"

 

I bet his question doesn't include "....even though your parents were against it?" Or includes other races.

 

She also has other races besides black/white to choose from. OP is....interesting.

[Vinnieb]

OK- answer this question for me? Have you lost any respect, admiration or attraction for her due to her revelation?

 

Or are you still attracted to her and want to be with her, but are insecure about her attraction to you? You think women can't be attracted to men of both races? You can't feel if your woman is attracted to you?

 

It's possible you are right. She might really want a black guy and not a racist white guy like you. I have been with my husband 22 years. I've had different friends and aquaintences make comments to me about being with a black guy, but not be able to overcome the family/father stuff. So there are white women out there that are genuinely attracted to black men (gasp), but this doesn't mean they don't find white guys attractive, too. Don't sell yourself short.

 

If you've lost respect for her, then just let her go. She deserves to be with someone that treasures her.

 

No, I have not lost any respect for her. I still want to be with her and she still wants to be with me, we are still together. look, at first it was a shock to me. Like overwhelming kind of feeling. I didn't look at her as a dirty girl for sleeping with a black guy, nor did I think that. I was just shocked. Then I found out about the whole father thing. Knowing that, just makes me feel likes shes settling with me because I'm the race of her fathers choice. I know this sounds crazy and immature but I just have thoughts of her father telling her its ok to be with anybody you want to and her ending what we have to be with a black guy.

[ses]

Reading the bile the OP posted gave me an upset stomach.

 

I have many family and friends who are involved in interracial or intercultural relationships. Yes, people have their own preferences in dating; that's normal and common. I know I have mine. However everyone knows that a person who trots out their "friends" from other races while loudly exclaiming that he/she is not a racist is overly compensating for their racist attitude. What do you have to prove, OP, other than distracting us your own feelings of bigotry and racial superiority? Your girlfriend deserves way better than you.

[Misfortune]

This story will be twisted until the OP comes out looking like an angel.

[Vinnieb]

This story will be twisted until the OP comes out looking like an angel.

 

Not trying to make myself look good or bad. Just trying to reason is all.

[JessieJ08]

Your Poor gf to be dating someone like you seriously your pathetic she trusted you with her past probably doesn't want to be used or judged for something she was years before you. If you cant handle her past let her go you clearly dont deserve the good person she is now.

 

 

And also race shouldn't matter so how would you feel if someone you made a girlfriend judged you for never being with a black chick or the other way around the past shouldnt matter if it does then let that person go SO they can find someone who respects them aside their past.

[Vinnieb]

Your Poor gf to be dating someone like you seriously your pathetic she trusted you with her past probably doesn't want to be used or judged for something she was years before you. If you cant handle her past let her go you clearly dont deserve the good person she is now.

 

 

And also race shouldn't matter so how would you feel if someone you made a girlfriend judged you for never being with a black chick or the other way around the past shouldnt matter if it does then let that person go SO they can find someone who respects them aside their past.

 

Not even how it was

[Carenth]

I'm sorry that my intolerance of your intolerance has ruffled your feathers so much.

 

I don't think you understand what a hipster is either. I couldn't be further from one. Yes everyone is entitled to views and that also allows for criticism of those views at least in this day and age. Bigots, racists and homophobes to name a few don't like this very much because they have had free reign for the longest time to say whatever they want without repercussions.

 

OP is racist just as you are a homophobic. You have negative connotations with a group of people. Homosexuality is not a lifestyle that implies choice and there is nothing "unnatural" about it. If it is a lifestyle choice may I ask when did you make the choice to be straight?

[MrCastle]

I'm just going to make one more post on this thread.

 

OP, you're not a racist, you're just uncomfortable with interracial relations. The hipster mob is just making a weak inductive argument that your a racist, so that they can augment some pleasant feeling that they are doing justice.

 

For me personally, I don't concur with homosexuality. I believe that it is unnatural, as well as a dangerous lifestyle. Those are my personal views. Does this mean that I hate homosexuals? Nope. I have a couple of friends that are homosexual; I just don't agree with their lifestyle.

 

Your situation is analogous. You most likely don't hate black people (at least from what I can make of your posts), you are just uncomfortable with the idea of interracial relations (which many others are too). There is nothing wrong with this; it is your right to hold your own beliefs, regardless of what intolerant hipsters think.

 

When you say she had low self esteem at the time of the encounter, what I got from it was that you were just stating that she slept with the guy because of her emotional instabilities, not because you think you're superior. I know many girls who have mentioned regret about sleeping with someone due to some sort of circumstance. The black joke is not that big of a deal either. My black friends make inside jokes around me about white people, but it is all in good nature.

 

Ignore the atheist who is bashing and labeling you as well. I am a Christian, and I have got into dialogue about my faith many times with atheists; they are some of the most bigoted people I've ever gotten into dialogue with, ever. I keep space between me and them, not because I don't like them, but mostly because I don't like their bigoted claims of being intellectually superior to those who are religious.

 

Not saying the poster shares the same sentiments, but from my own experiences it's likely.

 

The "hipsters" are intolerant because they believe in interracial relationships but OP is not intolerant because he is uncomfortable with them?

 

Sit this one out, buddy. Your opinion is comical, and I'm (almost positively) sure that's not your intention.

[Carenth]

You don't have to hate another race to be racist or hate gays to be homophobic it is negative connotations associated with a group of people for no other reason except for a distinguishing feature about them in these cases skin color or sexuality.

 

It's not forcing ideals these are the literal definitions of the words. You should be protesting the dictionaries if you feel otherwise.

 

All we are guilty of is being intolerant of intolerance. Which I would rather be than a bigot. Nope doesn't disqualify you. Once again being homosexual is not a lifestyle. There is no choice involved.

 

By your logic anyone having sex is a dangerous lifestyle (and potentially is) do you disagree with your own lifestyle? of course you don't unless I am mistaken. These things can be prevented by practicing safe sex regardless if the person is straight, gay or bisexual. Your point is mute.

 

What are your other concerns I'm very curious.

 

Just because you have gay friends doesn't mean you can't be homophobic you described them as "unnatural" that is a very negative association whether you choose to acknowledge it or not that is up to you. I'm going to go with the later.

Edited September 24, 2013 by Carenth

[Phantom888]

I have "stolen" two white women from their white BF/Husband. Yes, these women decided to leave their white S.O. for me, an Asian dude. I would think these white guys would hate Asian men. But no, because they don't think Asian men as a whole is competition. WTF?? If anything, Asian men are the most threatening to white males because when white women start dating Asians, they NEVER go back. This has been my experience.

[Carenth]

Selective Outrage is fun!

 

If she grew up Southern Baptist Church, went to a Christan School, was Baptized and wanted to wait till she was married to have sex they would be screaming for her head on a platter and if the OP delivered... They would carry the OP on their shoulders, chanting his name, dancing and celebrating her demise. Not to mention applying / accusing her of every kind of extreme stereotypes / generalizations they have ever heard or read about or heard from a friend of a friend of friend.

 

This has nothing to do with anything discussed in this thread. I was baptized Catholic, raised Catholic. You cannot make assumptions about a persons views/beliefs based on how they were raised.

 

The only information you have given about this "hypothetical" situation is that this person chose to not have sex until marriage. That is their choice and no one should try and make someone have sex before they are ready.

 

Honestly I don't really know what point you are trying to convey with this post.

[Geiss]

Lots of people out there whether they want to admit it or not have a problem with white women having sex with black men. A lot of self righteous politically correct people here throwing around the bigot and racist card. If it bothers you than it is a problem. Some people just want to hold hands with everyone and sing kumbayah. Don't listen to the holier than thous here. If it bothers you dump her. They want you to stay with her because they are politically correct and afraid to speak up. Just following the multicultural train even though I'm sure many of them won't live in many of the ethnic enclaves and are secretly as racist as the ones they accuse of. Brainwashed by government ideology which is failing by the way. Just ask the people in Great Britain, London in particular and the Sharia no go zones. It would bother me too. Also some of the women here calling you a bigot and racist might very well be guilty of doing the same thing. Once again the past is past philosophy fails.