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What to expect when dating someone with ADHD?


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Posted

This past weekend I met this guy and he revealed to me that he has ADHD. I don't have a problem with this at all. I have a learning disability myself. I just want to know what to expect when dating someone who has ADHD

Posted

I don't know, but I think they may have trouble with neatness, in other words, not being very tidy.

Posted

A lot of food gets left out and spoils.

Posted

At least your ahead a step by questioning what having ADHD means. The last girl I dated told me she had ADHD but I thought "oh, that just means she has difficulties studying",etc. after we broke up I saw an article in the paper about ADHD and relationships and I was shocked by how many things I could relate to. The more I looked into it the. Ore I realized how much of an impact it was making on her behaviors and our relationship. I also felt the parent/child kind of relationship at times. I always felt like I had to be the responsible one, do the planning,etc.

 

Anyway, definitely read up more on it. In the end I am still close friends with my ex after a good 6 month of no contact and me reading up on things. However, I would never get into a long term relationship with her even though I generally enjoy her company and like her as a person.

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Posted

Great answers everyone. I feel like I'm doing the responsible by looking into this and see whether I can cope with this or not.

Posted

If you have to make a thread about it, you can't

Posted

I had no idea this was such a big thing. I have diagnosiesd add but rather mild as I generally just can't focus on things I don't care about.

 

I am messy I will admit that.

 

Anyone can have impulsive or quirky behavior. The ladder i sometimes find endearing.

 

No one is perfect and I honestly don't think it hinders my life as I have it properly treated. He was honest about it with you at least...

Posted
The last guy I dated had it. He would often go unmedicated, so keep that in mind. It was like night and day when he was on adderall.

 

At first - it was awesome. This is the "hyperfocus" stage that you might hear about if you do your homework (which you should). You will be at the center of their attention and you'll feel like a million bucks. Showered with praise, gifts, text messages throughout the day, wanted to see me all the time. I was like - wow. Finally someone who is really, really into me. I fell for it.

 

Then, literally overnight, it all changed. I went two days without hearing from him which was completely opposite of how he had been treating me. When I mentioned it to him, he honestly had no idea that he had done anything to upset me. I spoke to him about it in a calm, caring way, and thought I had made myself clear that communication is important. It went downhill fast after that.

 

Many times it felt as if I was dealing with a child. We would be talking and he'd do stuff like throw a straw wrapper right in my face and think it was funny. He'd constantly fidget and had a few weird tics like grabbing his shirt and clearing his throat constantly. One morning I woke up and he had brought a bottle of syrup into my room and was asking me if I'd drink it if I was thirsty enough. He'd forget to text me a lot. Never made plans anymore. I felt like I was turning into a nag in a parent/child relationship. I constantly picked up after him as he'd leave trash/wrappers all over my apartment. NOT SEXY.

 

Long story short, I don't have the patience to deal with someone with ADHD. Especially not a 33-year-old man who should have had some control over it at this stage. Going without his medication was irresponsible and it was as if I could see him spiral out of control.

 

So - NO I wouldn't do it again.

 

Not to derail the thread. But oh no! Is this the boyfriend with the wealthy parents you had fallen in love with?

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Posted
If you have to make a thread about it, you can't

 

Just wanted to hear from other people and research about it.

Posted
If you have to make a thread about it, you can't

What a dumb thing to say on a messaging board :laugh:

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