Leegh Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I had to cancel a date with a new guy because of my work, and then I emailed him with new dates when I was available, and also I mentioned to him that a friend told me that he has a girlfriend of 3 years. I indicated to him that since he wasn't married I was still willing to go out with him. I had heard from a friend they were having problems. Anyway, he emailed me back saying he and his girlfriend are breaking up. But, he did not mention anything about our up-coming date. I think I know the answer, that he's lost interest, but then it sounded encouraging that he said he and his girlfriend are breaking up. Should I drop the whole thing, or email him back and ask if he still wants to go out, or what? Could I have embarrassed him by bringing up his girlfriend? My instinct tells me that he is not interested in me anymore, but felt an obligation to email me back, as he is very polite. We never emailed much, just once or twice over a period of a month, as we hardly know each other.
fanine Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 He says he is breaking up? So hasn't broken up with her. A girlfriend of three years? That is a long time together. Do you seriously want to get involved with someone in this situation?
Author Leegh Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 Thanks, I see what you mean. I know that things have not been going well between he and his girlfriend, but he could be (although I'm not sure) emotionally out of it. I would like to go out on a date with him, and just take a day at a time from there.
fanine Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 It does take a while to get out of a relationship emotionally though. Especially after that length of time. He doesn't say either that they have split, but that they are breaking up. Which is a bit strange. Either they are together or not, rather than in the middle. I would just be a bit careful you don't become the rebound girl if this is the case. I would say don't chase him, let him sort out what is happening in his personal life. After all you don't really know what is the truth of the situation. Just be a bit cautious.
CrystalCastles Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Let him contact you when he's available again. Meanwhile pursue other men. 1
deathandtaxes Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Nothing good can come of this - trying to date a guy who already has a gf...
Carenth Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 This will not end well trying to date a taken man? What does this say about his character if he is planning dates with someone else while in a relationship. For most people that qualifies as cheating. Just remember that how he treats his current partner is a mirror into how he will treat you down the road. I have lived by this and it hasn't failed me yet. Behaviors you see in people often rear their head again in the future. If you are happy dating someone who is not faithful in a relationship then by all means continue. Also not the mention the fact if you do date him just after a breakup you are going to be a rebound. Because it takes time to get over things in a relationship and he will bring whatever negative feelings he has from that to you. This is because he will not have had the time to sit down reflect and process these feelings. All around I would just be dropping it and looking for someone who is not taken and emotionally available which this guy is not.
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