DM42 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Just thought I would post as I got advice on here that I used and it was very effective. Started NC, August 26 and I knew it would be tough to get through the next 4 weeks from that point. It was her birthday on Sept. 10 and mine on Sept. 21 so I thought those days would be the most difficult. I remembered some advice that I read on here and that was to treat yourself on their birthday so what I did was take a few days off work and went on a road trip along the ocean coast and IT WAS GREAT!! It was something that I always wanted to do and on her birthday I was full of joy and elated. Anyone who is dreading their ex's birthday coming up so do the same thing on that day.....TREAT YOURSELF, it works wonders. My birthday came up and when I woke up I saw that there was a text from her. I didn't open it but it and told myself I would not open it on my birthday. I did see the beginning part of the text and it said "I sent you a card from my", so after a bit I figured out that it was probably a link to an e-card. Anyway I didn't open the text until the next morning and saw that it was indeed a link, so I deleted it and never went to look at the e-card. It wasn't easy and so far part of me wishes that I went to read it but it doesn't take long to realize that if I did read it most likely it would have had a negative effect on me so overall, as it stands I'm glad I didn't. During the 4 weeks of NC I did meet a woman and was exchanging emails and then we decided to meet for lunch. I was excited about it but during lunch she admitted to me that she was married and is looking for something discreet. That sure took the wind out of my sails and I was disappointed as it was just another knock on my faith in relationships right now. Anyway I just thought I would post this and maybe it will help someone else, especially the treating yourself on your ex's birthday. 2
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Way to go! Thank you for sharing your success story to give us all hope.
StyleOnEm Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Wow major props man. Was she the one who broke up with you? And I'm assuming you didn't wish her a happy birthday... 1
Author DM42 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Thanks guys. Yes she was the one that broke up with me, it's not as easy as my post seems but doing those things really really helped. I'm committed to NC and every day is a victory. I hope everyone trying NC comes away with that feeling too.
Brown-Eyez Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 though I know its a bittersweet victory, congratulations on your strength!!
seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Congrats, OP. I'm not sure if I would have had the strength to delete an e-card from ex without reading but it really wouldn't matter what the card would say, would it? Why risk feeling bad? You made a wise choice. I'm also about a month with NC and day by day I'm getting stronger. It hasn't been easy but it's been worth the effort. I can say that I no longer wake up with a cloud over my head or feel sick at the thought of him. My thoughts are, "F*ck it." I'm not going to waste another moment of my life for someone who doesn't want to be with me.
Author DM42 Posted September 26, 2013 Author Posted September 26, 2013 Congrats, OP. I'm not sure if I would have had the strength to delete an e-card from ex without reading but it really wouldn't matter what the card would say, would it? Why risk feeling bad? You made a wise choice. I'm also about a month with NC and day by day I'm getting stronger. It hasn't been easy but it's been worth the effort. I can say that I no longer wake up with a cloud over my head or feel sick at the thought of him. My thoughts are, "F*ck it." I'm not going to waste another moment of my life for someone who doesn't want to be with me. I'm glad you feel that you are getting stronger day by day. There are times when I sink a bit but they don't last as long as before and it's not even a bad thing because it makes me think of something negative about the relationship and that picks me up. Sounds like we are right at about the same time for NC. For the people that are just starting or a couple of weeks in NC recognize that at about the 4 week mark things will change and be easier providing you aren't wasting that time and doing something for yourself.
lauri Posted September 26, 2013 Posted September 26, 2013 I'm glad you feel that you are getting stronger day by day. There are times when I sink a bit but they don't last as long as before and it's not even a bad thing because it makes me think of something negative about the relationship and that picks me up. Sounds like we are right at about the same time for NC. For the people that are just starting or a couple of weeks in NC recognize that at about the 4 week mark things will change and be easier providing you aren't wasting that time and doing something for yourself. This is good and uplifting. I'm almost at 30 days NC and I've been having my good and bad days. Life goes on!!!
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