lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 My ex and I BU about 7 weeks ago. We stayed NC for about 2 weeks and then she started to text me to check in and at first I didn't reply. She texted me almost every week since then too and finally we started chatting. We were friends before we started dating but then we both fell in love with eachother very quickly. There were no 3rd parties involved in our BU. Well, I will spare you the details but we agreed on hanging out again and we went on a dog walk with our respective dogs this past weekend. We both drove separately and we were very careful at first but quickly we both became very comfortable with eachother again. We just hung out and had a great time. No pressure, no BU conversation, no resentment. We just talked and took pictures together with our dogs and laughed a lot. We did NOT talk about the relatioship or about the BU at all. We acted like friends and that was it. She did say a couple flirty things but that was it. She now wants to hang out next weekend and go on a hike together. We both agreed on getting to know eachother again with no pressure and see where it takes us. I'm not sure if we're doing the right thing here but for what its worth...I'm enjoying hanging out with her and getting to know her again with NO expectations. If it doesn't work out at least we tried......I feel now that I'm seeing her in a whole new way. I'm also feeling better about moving on in case it doesn't work out.
Zahara Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 We both agreed on getting to know eachother again with no pressure and see where it takes us.. You both were friends before dating so I'm sure you know well enough about each other. What are you both trying to get to know that you didn't know since being friends, dating and falling in love?
malin819 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 dude be careful I have been down this road for 2 months now and you need to know her expectations. I never knew her intentions with me and I still don't know I ended getting hurt yet again
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 This sounds like a bad idea. What are her intentions? And more importantly, what do you want out of this? Wouldn't you rather just move on and try again with someone else. Why re-mash the mashed potatos??
harrybrown Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Hope this works well for you. You should sometime see about resolving the BU.
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 You both were friends before dating so I'm sure you know well enough about each other. What are you both trying to get to know that you didn't know since being friends, dating and falling in love? We were friends but not close friends. Also, she's scared that what I feel for her is just infatuation and not real long lasting love. She's been hurt before. So here we are....trying to get know eachother again.
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 Hope this works well for you. You should sometime see about resolving the BU. It's the elephant in the room, isn't it? I know we will need to address it eventually.
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 This sounds like a bad idea. What are her intentions? And more importantly, what do you want out of this? Wouldn't you rather just move on and try again with someone else. Why re-mash the mashed potatos?? In all honesty, we both are not looking to date anyone else at the moment. It's complicated as hell and very personal. What I want out of this is...to figure out whether the BU was a mistake or meant to be. What she wants is: to be assured that I'm not going to break her heart and that what we have NOW is going to last. It's a process and a leap of faith.
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 dude be careful I have been down this road for 2 months now and you need to know her expectations. I never knew her intentions with me and I still don't know I ended getting hurt yet again How so? Did she ever share her expectations? I'm curious.... thanks.
malin819 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 mixed signals bro Told me she loved me and wanted to be with me...spent weeks together then when I asked what she wanted she didn't even know! I don't see myself with you and then days after a different speach. Walk carefully buddy...she was hurt and will be very resistant
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 mixed signals bro Told me she loved me and wanted to be with me...spent weeks together then when I asked what she wanted she didn't even know! I don't see myself with you and then days after a different speach. Walk carefully buddy...she was hurt and will be very resistant That's tough man. We haven't even discussed the BU so I'm not sure where we will end up. I will be careful, believe me, I do not want to get hurt again. Right now, we're 2 people who care for eachother deeply trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it.
malin819 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 That's tough man. We haven't even discussed the BU so I'm not sure where we will end up. I will be careful, believe me, I do not want to get hurt again. Right now, we're 2 people who care for eachother deeply trying to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. been there...I wish you guys the best but don't set your expectationg and be deceived afterward. Maybe you'll never get the answers you want right away but she'll leave them bit by bit like mine did but I never got the whole picture figured out. If you do getting hurt again, we are here for you geez I feel gay now!!
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 I don't know why everyone is so against going back to an ex. I understand things don't always work out, but what the hell?! You gotta find out one way or the other or you can spend your life wondering. Do it! If you guys really are meant to be, it'll work out. Don't stress out. Be you. Let her know where you stand. Take it slow and wish you the best! Awesome for you! Be positive. I believe in Law of Attraction! Thanks! I really didn't want us to hate one another or have ill feelings about what we once had. If its meant ot be it will be....I don't want to wake up 10 years from now wondering if we should have tried harder. If it doesn't work out...well, at least I will have closure and will be ready to move on. I will survive either way.
malin819 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 dont live like I did for a few months only thinking what if this or that move forward either way because you are the one in control of your life and success. Can't let those things stop you. Life is way too short (learned this from 4 aunts dying from cancer really young)
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 been there...I wish you guys the best but don't set your expectationg and be deceived afterward. Maybe you'll never get the answers you want right away but she'll leave them bit by bit like mine did but I never got the whole picture figured out. If you do getting hurt again, we are here for you geez I feel gay now!! Haha..thanks man! I appreciate it. Iwill probably need a little encouragement if things don't work out. I work very hard on keeping my expectations in check these days. I will hang out with her a couple more times and see how we both feel but eventually I plan on bringing up the RS and see how she reacts. If we decide there's no future I'll be ready to move on.
malin819 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 thats it you did exactly like I did but I was left without a relationship but hey she still txts me when she needs something bhahahaha
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 dont live like I did for a few months only thinking what if this or that move forward either way because you are the one in control of your life and success. Can't let those things stop you. Life is way too short (learned this from 4 aunts dying from cancer really young) Sorry for your loss man. I hear you...life is too short sometimes. As they say "this too shall pass"....I just want to move on from the hurt once and for all. Right now, I'm having a hard time looking at other girls because I still care for my ex. I'm ready for this to end one way or another.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 to be assured that I'm not going to break her heart and that what we have NOW is going to last. I'll take this guarantee too. Where do I sign?? 1
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 thats it you did exactly like I did but I was left without a relationship but hey she still txts me when she needs something bhahahaha That's tough. Sorry. How long ago was the break up? What did she say when you brought up the RS and the BU?
malin819 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 to be honest we broke up 3 times but the last time (2 months ago) we kind of have been seeing each other for a week then nothing for a week and vice versa. **** happens. She even told me she was confused and didn't understand herself. Now its my turn to man up and not let her drag me WHen I brought up RS I never got a clear answer and for the break up...well she is searching for the PERFECT man Once I'm gone she'll realise what she had. Her whole family still txts and calls me...
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 It's the elephant in the room, isn't it? I know we will need to address it eventually. It should be the first thing you address. If you don't, it will just simmer under the surface. If there is ever elephants in the room, you need to address them.
Author lovesucks76 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 It should be the first thing you address. If you don't, it will just simmer under the surface. If there is ever elephants in the room, you need to address them. You're correct. It will happen sooner than later, it just has to!
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