johan Posted November 25, 2004 Posted November 25, 2004 My friend's girlfriend is pretty driven. Or something. She can't just sit still and hang out. There has to be a practical activity to fill to every minute. He on the other hand is an expert relaxer. Even when he's alone, he values time spent doing nothing much. And he values "down" time with her, almost above all other things they could do together. Just hanging out together makes you close. She's missing out on a lot by having her mind almost constantly occupied with things. She's so focused on the minutiae of her day she misses out on time with him, even when he's with her. Out of her need to keep control of everything, she has prioritized almost everything else she has to do in life above him. There's always something between them. Maybe she doesn't like to have her mind not occupied. Maybe the thoughts she has when she's just sitting still disturb her. She's having a hard time in life professionally and financially. It's been going on since they met. It wears on him sometimes, when she won't let him climb up her priority ladder to get close to her. He's been biding his time figuring it will change when her life stabilizes. I can't tell. Any one have some thoughts on this?
moimeme Posted November 25, 2004 Posted November 25, 2004 Maybe she has AD/HD. Or is on drugs. Or had huge expectations put on her by an overachiever mother. And people don't change that stuff just because someone gives them a good talking-to.
Devildog Posted November 25, 2004 Posted November 25, 2004 Originally posted by johan It wears on him sometimes, when she won't let him climb up her priority ladder to get close to her. This is the part that really caught my attention because that is one of the big issues in my marriage right now. My wife has me below where I should be regarding her priorities. Depending on how serious the relationship is and where the relationship is headed that either needs to change or he should move on.
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