snooplama Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 (edited) For the purpose of this story I will call this friend Bea. Bea is a single mom that I met through work. We lived close to each other and I would meet her at her place once a month to talk and hang out for an evening. We would play with her kids and then they would go to bed and we would talk about our lives over some wine. We never were the go out and party type of friends and that was fine with me. She told me she had not been on a date in years and I thought that was awful. I said I would watch her kids if she wanted to go on a date. Her kids were school age and she deserved some happiness. Bea dated around at first and I would watch the kids for her in the evening. This would happen like twice a month. Then it went from watching the kids every now and then to her wanting me to watch them all day a couple of times a week while she was at work or out partying with her other friends. It was becoming too much and there was never any money paid to me. I didn’t want money from her because then I would become an official employee. She said she was nervous hiring strangers to watch her kids because you don’t know who will show up at your door. The worst part was she stopped treating me like a friend and would only talk to me about watching the kids. We stopped hanging out or talking on the phone. It was like a nanny- employer relationship. If I tried to talk to her about this stuff she would make it so she was unavailable or would guilt trip me. I eventually would say no to her anytime she asked me to babysit and she stopped contacting me. I thought our friendship was over but she sends me texts every once in a while. I thought we had a clean break but she will maintain contact by texting me. She never calls me or invites me over. Anytime I reach out to her it is met with indifference on her end. I don’t understand this. A part of me thinks she is keeping me on the line in case she needs something from me. I tried not answering her texts but she is persistent and will act insulted if I don’t respond. Is this normal? Edited September 23, 2013 by snooplama
almond Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 You didn't lose a friend - she was never one in the first place. She is a user, and does not value your friendship - plain and simple. Ignore all future texts and calls from her, and completely ignore her acting "insulted." She is manipulating you. Cut her out entirely. 1
love1336x Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Oh god. She was never your friend! She totally used you! Plus, you wasn't getting paid??? come on now! When I babysit my friend's kid. She would give me 120 bucks! Thank god she let you go! Who needs friends like that?
GorillaTheater Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 All of the above, plus this: good job on standing up for yourself. It would have been better if you done it sooner, and clearly stated what you were and were not willing to do, but I'm glad you finally drew the line.
Dude420 Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 (edited) Why is it all about money? If it's a stranger's kid it would make sense. I have a close friend and sometimes he asks me to babysit his children. In return I get free food from his fridge and beer, access to internet and kitchen appliances and that's all I need. Of course I'm considerate enough not to eat all of his food and watch porn teehee . The only time I would demand money is if I'm travelling via car, but he lives close and I use a bike. Whenever you're babysitting, there should always be a trade-off as long you're comfortable with it. In this case, the OP wasn't comfortable with these excessive demands and was right to bail out. Edited September 29, 2013 by Dude420
coolheadal Posted September 29, 2013 Posted September 29, 2013 Her intent was only focus on you for one thing! WATCH MY KIDS FOR FREE! That was your intent to do for her FOR FREE ALSO! This nonsense! Just gone on too long and you just realize what she was doing too you. There was never any so called friendship and how could they be where you only there for one purpose. Now you don't want to do it anymore, and don't expect her to say" OKAY I'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE FOR FREE! She won't bother with you and if she does you should just close the book on this one. Move on!
HokeyReligions Posted October 2, 2013 Posted October 2, 2013 I wonder if she was influenced by her new friends and doesn't even realize how poorly she treated you. How sad. I'm sorry you lost a friend. 2
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