Simon Phoenix Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 He passed up on a possible friend because his pride was hurt. Did you have anything to add or was that all? When did he say that he wanted a friend?
cif Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Me: Oh well, it was good while it lasted, all the best for your pursuits Her: We can still be friends can't we? Me: I have enough friends. Good bye Her: Haha... Umm ok Did I screw this up? I wanted to walk away and ignore her but found myself biting. The old me would have stuck around but I don't plan to. Sure I'll see her around university but a smile and hey should be enough before I walk off. I just don't get her last reply and the 'haha' just irks me. So what do you guys think? I've moved on but I just want to have something for future reference on what I should do/ should have done. Cheers. I would've left it at the bolded and ignored the ?... how many friends are "enough friends"? or responded like another poster said, "sure, see you around" then never initiate contact again. why? because you never know what could happen in the future. you're only representing yourself with that nasty reply. she probably laughed because you sounded childish and reaffirmed her decision not to pursue. my 0.02
Mrlonelyone Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Personally it's not wussy if you are being true to yourself. What I do in those situations is just agree to be friends then do my own thing right in front of them. Either seeing me moving off without them makes them give chase or it makes them resent me for moving on. The downside is I end up with the type who only wants what they quite obtain.
SJC2008 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 The way I see it, when someone rejects you, what difference does it make if you show it upset you? You don't get brownie points for being stoic and indifferent. They're not suddenly gonna want to sleep with you because you were indifferent to the rejection. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ He did fine. Lol at the people who said he came accross as bitter, mad and socially inept. If being socially inept is giving a clear cut no to a likely BS, face saving offer, then I'm socially inept every day of the week and twice on Sundays. 1
phineas Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Depends on how the woman was to me. I've had women flirt with me sexually or lead me on by dangling the sex carrot then giving me the "just friends" BS. Those I tell I got enough friends. If we go out & they say they just want to be friends i will tell them "sure" then let them contact me. But, if they do I'll invite them out to hang with me & my friends and if they decline I'll tell them i "gotta go" because some women do use the friends thing to insure they have plenty of sources of attention. FYI I've got women friends I never asked out that I eventually dated but never had women I dated actually be the friends they claimed they wanted to be.
Revolver Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 You did the right thing you shouldn't settle for being someone's friend if that's what you don't want. Plus the chances of you guys actually "hanging out" as friends probably was low
Carenth Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 (edited) I find the people saying he's coming across bitter and angry hilarious. He is being honest and to the point, no bull****. Just as he is not entitled to sex and/or relationship neither is she entitled to friendship (even if the offer is most likely a lie and nothing but an ego boost to her she is not entitled to an ego boost either). Sure it was blunt but it was honest and he isn't doing what I see so many guys harp on about on this website being in the dreaded "friendzone". Which is created by accepting these bogus offers of friendship. Take a look at those threads and you will see they have generally become women hating, resentful, angry and sad people. I think this is the much more healthy and less socially inept way to deal with this rather than pretending to be friends because honestly that is weird. Why be friends with someone who you don't want to be friends with? Would have I said it the exact same thing OP said? Probably not but the underlying message would of been exactly the same. Which is "I wanted to date or have a relationship with you. I don't want to be your friend. Thanks for the offer but no thanks." Edited September 24, 2013 by Carenth 1
Author Guitarisgood Posted September 24, 2013 Author Posted September 24, 2013 Thanks guys, I didn't realise this was going to garnish such a big response. Yes, I'll admit, I may have been too blunt but forgive me for my inexperience. Too many times I've recieved the 'lets just be friends' and I've rolled over like a whipping boy. Well that changed from that point on. I plan walking life with dignity, not taking crap from anyone and living my life to the fullest. I guess the most important point I want for guys in my situation to know is, there are plenty of fish in the sea. All it takes is for you to BE A MAN. You'll have many stuff ups along the way. But if you are really true to improving yourself, life will open many a doors for you be it with your career, woman or life.
SJC2008 Posted September 24, 2013 Posted September 24, 2013 Just as he is not entitled to sex and/or relationship neither is she entitled to friendship (even if the offer is most likely a lie and nothing but an ego boost to her she is not entitled to an ego boost either). This exactly. I had a big misunderstanding with a woman I dated almost a year ago and when we were talking about it she dropped the let's be friends line one me and I told her I don't need frineds I already have them and she told me she didn't want to cut me out of her life. Lol yeah becuase she didn't want to lose the attention she was getting from me as she wasn't over her ex. I don't get what I want you don't get what you want and I don't care if it comes accross as bitter or kosher.
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