how to stop!!!

[send_me_flowers]

hello lovely people.

 

how to stop loving and missing your ex bf/gf when they are no longer a part of your life.

 

if you have or are trying how did you do it

[Eddie007]

No contact!!! I've been on NC since the day she dumped me. It's been 36 days. Neither of us have tried to contact. It's still a struggle but its the best way. I didn't even want to get out of bed the first week, called into work a few days. I still think about her but have been able to sleep better and start moving forward. It's a decision I make everyday to not contact her.

 

We were together for 4+ years and lived together for 3+ and engaged to be married. It's not easy but it is truly the best way. I doubt I will ever stop loving her, but in order to move on I've had to cut her out totally.

Edited September 23, 2013 by Eddie007

[Sparkle304]

I followed a very similar method as Eddie (the previous poster). First week I cried and cried and stayed in bed hardly eating anything. I also talked to my mom and friends a lot. As the weeks went by I FORCED myself to go outside. I also made myself eat (although I really didn`t have an appetite). I went to see a therapist and continued to talking to my friends.

 

But most importantly, I made no contact.

[Sparkle304]

But I still think about him. It`s been almost 6 weeks since the BU. I still feel sad, and am scared to death that I will never find someone like him.......will I be alone forever??

[send_me_flowers]

No contact!!! I've been on NC since the day she dumped me. It's been 36 days. Neither of us have tried to contact. It's still a struggle but its the best way. I didn't even want to get out of bed the first week, called into work a few days. I still think about her but have been able to sleep better and start moving forward. It's a decision I make everyday to not contact her.

 

We were together for 4+ years and lived together for 3+ and engaged to be married. It's not easy but it is truly the best way. I doubt I will ever stop loving her, but in order to move on I've had to cut her out totally.

 

aw so sad im sorry. a little like mine i was engaged to be married also. im on 44 days of NC. god its so hard but as to be done. same both havent contacted each other. every time the phone rings my heart skips a beat. when its not him calling i get upset. i got left for someone else though so i dont know why i still think he will call me

 

im sorry we will get through this all together

[send_me_flowers]

I followed a very similar method as Eddie (the previous poster). First week I cried and cried and stayed in bed hardly eating anything. I also talked to my mom and friends a lot. As the weeks went by I FORCED myself to go outside. I also made myself eat (although I really didn`t have an appetite). I went to see a therapist and continued to talking to my friends.

 

But most importantly, I made no contact.

 

 

sparkle thats great how you had the inner strengh to make yourself get out of bed force yourself to eat and maintain no contact. we can be strong when we need to be. ive seen your posts before you seem such a caring nice person.

 

what i do is look in the mirror and say i can do better i will not allow myself to feel this way about somebody who doesnt want me anymore and maybe never did. it does help but than the rejection phase comes back and i feel a pain in my heart

 

its so sad why do we have to suffer why dont they for hurting us

[send_me_flowers]

But I still think about him. It`s been almost 6 weeks since the BU. I still feel sad, and am scared to death that I will never find someone like him.......will I be alone forever??

 

 

mines 6 weeks also..

 

i think that sometimes to. but than i remind myself thats fear just talking. NO sparkle you will not be alone forever you will meet someone who will sweep you off your feet and see what truly lays in your heart and who you could love even more than you do your ex bf

 

dont you let him take you down. you show him that hes lost you

[Eddie007]

I think the majority of them suffer as well. Maybe not at the same time as us but they are human so they have feelings. If it was an amicable split as in my case I'd say there is no doubt they are in pain. My ex wanted to remain friends but I declined saying "no good would come of us saying in contact" at least not right now. I really wish she would reach out but in a way I admire her for respecting my wishes of NC. Makes me feel like she does care and doesn't want to hurt me anymore than necessary.

[send_me_flowers]

I think the majority of them suffer as well. Maybe not at the same time as us but they are human so they have feelings. If it was an amicable split as in my case I'd say there is no doubt they are in pain. My ex wanted to remain friends but I declined saying "no good would come of us saying in contact" at least not right now. I really wish she would reach out but in a way I admire her for respecting my wishes of NC. Makes me feel like she does care and doesn't want to hurt me anymore than necessary.

 

do you think they still hurt if they cheated and left you for that person idk

 

thats lovely of her to do but at the same time when your hurting its not. you are like dam pick the phone up and dial my number

[Gra]

mines 6 weeks also..

 

i think that sometimes to. but than i remind myself thats fear just talking. NO sparkle you will not be alone forever you will meet someone who will sweep you off your feet and see what truly lays in your heart and who you could love even more than you do your ex bf

 

dont you let him take you down. you show him that hes lost you

 

I really really really hope this is true. Right now it feels like I'll never love or be loved again.

[send_me_flowers]

I really really really hope this is true. Right now it feels like I'll never love or be loved again.

 

 

we have to believe it will be true

[Wirenut]

Its not easy, when I broke up with my gf in april, it was difficult. I still think of her. It gets easier. I kept myself busy with house projects, gym four times a week and visiting family and friends. The hardest times were the weekends and nights.

My best advice is no contact. Its hard at first, but it does get easier with time. Its really the only way. When we broke up, the first month we kept in touch which was a mistake. It just made it worse.

[mtnbiker3000]

Take this time to work on yourself. Mentally and physically. Hit the gym!! See a therapist and read books. Chances are there are some things in your own psyche which need some adjusting and tweaking. This will improve your odds

[JDPT]

By way of NC you essentially dezensitise your mind and body from that person you shared it all with. In time everything will subside and will become more manageable leaving room for growth and process. I was so blessed to understand that my relationship of 4 years was over. I truly believe this played in my favor. Healing from a breakup up is like getting over a cold. It doesn't happen overnight, it takes time until you reach a point of feelin much better all over again. Be gentle with yourself, don't rush this and pace yourself. Time will work wonders for you.

[dreameater]

1. You have to be strong.

2. NC with him/her

3. Date another person!

 

If you can comply with all the 3 points, you pass.

 

I failed the 3 points, so I am still stuck here with my ex...

[lovelylilly]

I am really struggling with this to be honest. I think I make myself worse because I force myself to go out and keep my busy schedule, when all I want to do is lay in bed and sleep. I wish there was an easy answer for this, I don't like anyone having to go through this. Just keep your mind occupied and do whatever you feel like. And most importantly--NO CONTACT!