oldsoul1922 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 (edited) I'm 27 and dated my most recent girlfriend for just over a year. We fell in love, the real deal. My only reservation was the she had been married and divorced twice by the time she was 25. I discarded it however as she had very extravagant stories as to how each of the 2 guy she dated cheated on her and were aggressive with her ect and It seemed that she was a victim, I felt Bad for her. Long story short, she moved across the country for me. I'm chasing my career and she came with me, I felt like we would get married eventually. One day, about 5 months ago, I overheard her talking about me with one of her friends on the phone. She was saying horrible things. Said I was abusive and she was trying to leave me and move back home. I asked her what she was talking about after the fact as this was a total fabrication. She did not have an explanation and basically apologized, said she was not sure why she exaggerated things like that and begged for my forgiveness. I tild her I needed space and then began no contact. I mailed her things back to her and said goodbye. Have not talked to her since. She has moved back home and continued talking badly about me since sh got home as the explanation as to why she came back. I think she may be mentally unstable. It's been hard for me losing her because I genuinely loved her and I saw a dr. He thinks she may have a personality disorder, explaining the failed relationships and her inclination to seek sympathy from people. I miss her, regardless of the bad. I make myself feel responsible, even though its not true. I still wonder if I became unattractive to her or something. I miss the good. I miss the life I had with her. Should I call her just to talk? We never really got any closure. I just miss th good. My family forbids me o contact her saying she's insane... Love sucks I don't know what to do Edited September 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Nancy87 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 did she ever try to contact u back post breakup?
JoelBarish Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 NO! DO NOT CONTACT HER! I think maybe your family is right, she is clearly insane. Okay maybe not insane but she does sound like she has BPD. Why would you want such a messed up package? I know there was some good aspects to your relationship and you miss those things. However, you can find someone who has the good stuff to offer you without so much baggage. Think about it, if you had someone who treated you batter than your ex ever did without all the drama, would you want to call your ex? There are other girls and most of them would be better for you than your ex. Don't have such a scarcity mindset and don't settle for less than 1st class treatment. 1
AnyaNova Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 If you actually thought that you should, would you have posted here? I think, like me, you know deep down that it is a bad idea. but stick with it. There is someone out there for you who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
Author oldsoul1922 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 did she ever try to contact u back post breakup? When I told her I needed space, we texted for a couple days (3-4 max) but did not see one another at all. Then I called her to tell her I am mailing her last couple of belongings to her. She told me she wanted to see me and for me just to meet her in person. I told her I would think about it and let her know. The next day I put her things in the mail and texted her to expect them the following day. This was my last contact with her. For the next week, she texted me about 3-4 times telling me how much she missed me and that she loved me very very much. It was very hard, but I did not respond. We have not spoken to each other since (its been about 5 months) and she has since moved back home. I only know she moved back home beacuse of a mutual friend's facebook pictures. Yes, there are many things I loved about her. She was very unusual. We were both old souls, love the classics and have extremely similar personalities. I thought she was the one, genuinely. I wanted to build a life with her and have everything that comes with it. I wanted to support her, love her, ect ect. The hardest thing is that after hearing her say these things about me, she denyed meaning them and just expressed her love for me and told me how sorry she was and honestly begged for me to forgive her and for us to stay together. This is what made leaving her so hard. Deep down, I didnt want to leave her, but I felt like I had to.... Also, my family was very strongly urging me to leave her. Theres no doubt in any of their minds that she is a bad person. but for some reason its hard for me to see it, even though everytihg is right in front of me.... I think about her all the time. I miss her. I still love her. I just want someone new to come into my life.
Author oldsoul1922 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 it also seems that she has moved on, based on her social media photos. I just dont get it.... Did what her and I have mean nothing? She was the one persuing me for the most part the whole time... I just don't understand how she can be so in love with me and then seem so past it and on to other guys after just a few months
JoelBarish Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 it also seems that she has moved on, based on her social media photos. I just dont get it.... Did what her and I have mean nothing? She was the one persuing me for the most part the whole time... I just don't understand how she can be so in love with me and then seem so past it and on to other guys after just a few months She isn't worth it man. Don't snoop her FB. Nothing but pain can be found there
Renard99 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 it also seems that she has moved on, based on her social media photos. I just dont get it.... Did what her and I have mean nothing? She was the one persuing me for the most part the whole time... I just don't understand how she can be so in love with me and then seem so past it and on to other guys after just a few months Block her on whatever social media it is that you use. You'll be better for it. My ex and I have a mutual friend and, after blocking her she simply didn't exist as far as Facebook was concerned. All of her posts on the mutual friend's page just disappeared. The only time I knew she was posting comments on the mutual friend's status updates was if he replied and that was only because he looked like he was having a conversation with himself as it only showed me his side of the conversation. Kind of amusing actually.
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