BlueIvy Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 So I was dating a 52 year old man and I'm 25 for a year. He introduced me to his daughter, brother and his friends. (his other family is out of state) I never introduced him to my family because they wouldn't understand, as my culture is kind of conservative. However, he met one of my friends and all my friends and even 1 cousin know about him. He even said he loves me first. In the beginning, he seemed enamored and wanted me to move in and have a relationship with his daughter. I declined about moving in and felt weird about trying to be cool with his daughter. Anyway, a few times we "broke up" for a day but then made up. I would initate the break ups out of anger because he would say mean things, for instance, I was looking at this little girl and said she's beautiful and I jokingly said I want my daughter to look like that. He then said "She's beautiful...without makeup, your daughter can never look like that...she's prettier than you." I was pissed becuase it was uncalled for. Only thing is he is insecure about his "performance" and I noticed months ago he has been pulling away which he says is because of the age difference it was ***** with him...he didn't want to let me go but doesn't feel right with being with someone so young, mind you he pursued me from the get go... Anyway, a few weeks ago he said we need to change dynamics and we can cuddle, go out but not have sex, again shows insecurity, basically transition... I said makes no sense and we should just break up cold turkey and he said who said anything about breaking up but then he seemed to agreed. Next week though he asked me to hang out and we did 69 which i iniated. but next time we hung out he said something i didn't like so i said something he didnt like and he ignored me for 5 days. He basically said another woman is prettier than me without me asking or anything and I said fine let's compare dick sizes but I didn't actual compare. (Now yesterday he admitted he would compare and criticize because he really believes I'm a narcissist and that I'm beautiful and should stop worrying about my looks so much) then i went to see him in his office(yes a professor at my college) and he was still upset but we talked a little. I remember one time in front of school club he said he was dating a 24 year old and she's beautiful and smart and treats him good. And all the students were like wow omg. And some chummed in and I was embarrassed even though no one knew it was me he was talking about because I felt put on the spot. anyway i do want to be friends and want to be open communication but seems like he is off it i noticed I'm the one who is initiating texting, which is pathetic:o i even called a few times over this week and he never returned my calls:( even today i asked to hang out and he said its football Sunday and before that was not an issue. When we were together, we still hung out on Sunday, even 2 weeks ago we hung out on Sunday while his friend was over. yesterday at his office we made small talk and he called me babe because i think he use to it but he didnt call me nickname anymore. he also said it ended because one of us had to wake up to reality and he said it hurts when is said "he was a waste of my time" i also know hes lonely because his daughter moved out(his daughter said it as well as him) yet he doesn't wanna even spend casual time with me. It makes me feel as he never cared as much as he claimed. i guess i should take the hint but it's hard to because i loved him and probably still do. i remember when we would break up, he would actually call and text back and make effort. i remember we broke up for a 2 days and i already went on a date because i was hurt and i told him and he was hurt but we got back together.i guess i'm kinda hurt he let me go so easily and doesn't even want to be friends/friendly. But I don't want to get back with him after all this...I don't necessarily regret but I will never date a man this much older again. and it's funny because he as well as other people say im beautiful and smart and he even said this was one of the best if not best relationships he had. (mind u all his relationships end in array and usually the women dump him) I spoke to his friend and told him the situation and he said I'm young and beautiful and should move on and remember we had a good year. He also said his friend has no tact and that many of his relationships ended in array. His friend also was the one who told me to break up with him because he already fell in love. He also told me he is in love with me and whipped and doesn't know how to handle the break up. I also remember he mentioned 2 months ago if not for the vast age difference he would marry me and wonders If I would say yes. I remember I said yes but now that I see all of him, I wouldn't marry him. While I still think he's a good person, he is very shallow, has no tact and ignores instead of communication which is childish. I plan on stop communicating with him, my friend says he expect it now so I will stop. I know in a few months I will and that I was worrying about this old fart,lol.
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I stopped reading at the insult on your beauty. That's when you should've ended the relationship. The man is beyond F*d up. 1
Author BlueIvy Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Yes, I know. But then he would say I am so beautiful and how everyone says I'm so pretty or look like a model. But then he would criticize my looks. If I posted a pic of us, you would think he is a lucky guy and even his friend said he's lucky. IDK why I care so much I guess it hurts that he is just whatever about this when before he seemed to care. In the beginning, he seemd to some enamored wanting me to move in, telling all his family and friends...and I was the one who was unsure and not that invested...and now I feel like the roles switched. I won't lie, it right now.
JoelBarish Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Yes, I know. But then he would say I am so beautiful and how everyone says I'm so pretty or look like a model. But then he would criticize my looks. If I posted a pic of us, you would think he is a lucky guy and even his friend said he's lucky. IDK why I care so much I guess it hurts that he is just whatever about this when before he seemed to care. In the beginning, he seemd to some enamored wanting me to move in, telling all his family and friends...and I was the one who was unsure and not that invested...and now I feel like the roles switched. I won't lie, it right now. I am still thinking about the 69 comment. What state do you live in again? j/k. You deserve better than how you were treated. Don't accept second class behavior from others.
Author BlueIvy Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Nah, I won't. I am just disappointed it ended like this. Some dude asked me out and wanted to chill at his house and I kicked him to the curb. I am learning a lot about these men...I think what hurts is realizing and feeling he never loved me. And he's stupid to ignore me because if I was vindictive, I can easily report him to the dean because he was my former professor. I realize now he's literally a dirty old man. Everyone, even his friend tried to warn me and I didn't listen!
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