incognus Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 To keep an extremely long story shorter..ill just get to the meat and potatoes of the situation... Me and my ex work together in a retail store on similar shifts everyday.. The breakup took many different forms it was 2 months ago....we dated for 6 mos. Moved very fast...moved in together after month 4...which led to a break down, and an eventful split (if that ain't the cliffs notes version, I dunno what is...) Anywho, being we have to see each other 4-5 days out of the week we originally agreed to at least be on speaking terms with each other..it was looking like we were making progress toward that for the first couple weeks of the break up after about 2 wks or so of pretty consistent NC. In the beginning of the breakup when we would work together, she would avoid me, but text me after work reassuring that she's just trying to adjust to us not being together, and that she still wants a friendship..even said a few times she missed me and what not.. So her solemn stand off ish attitude, I chalked it up to confusion and emotions on her end..so I was being patient..we were bit by bit beginning to build a speaking relationship with each other.. So one night, I made the novel decision to break one of our NC stints to ask if she missed the relationship or me in that manner, and she said no, she was enjoying being single..which I respected, but it left me with the question if she's over me, why was she acting so reserved at work around me... I owed her money from before the breakup from when she helped me pay for a dentist appt...I heard from a co worker that she had been kind of holding that over my head and wanted her money back, but of course, we weren't speaking at this juncture... So I went and drew the money out on a lunch break, gave it to her and I felt like I had washed my hands with the whole relationship because up to that point, her words had not been matching her actions..she had been fully ignoring me no eye contact or anything... So she texts me after that incident, explaining she had dropped it and it wasn't her complaining about the money but her friend (who also works with us)...she says also during that message she's not mad at me, and everything was fine. So a couple weeks after that..after sensing she's still making a great effort to ignore me, I text her and she basically says, she heard something that made her so mad, that she would rather ignore me, than talk to me..I never asked what it was..or know if its even true..it has to be the product of me confiding in co workers that went and misquoted me to her and made me seem vile to where all our progress ended and now she refuses to look at me...this has been going on for a month..not only that but I'm sure she's gossiped my character down to anyone at work that will listen..so Ive felt really isolated lately, and its making me hate my job... So the question is do I confront her? Or do I just deal with my new role as the villan?
HokeyReligions Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Rise above it. Your real friends know who you are. What others think shouldn't matter to you personally. If they try to hurt you professionally you can protect yourself by 1 keeping a record of what's been said directly to you and 2 not retaliating. Tell whoever is trying to stir up drama to please leave you out of it. You dated and it didn't work out. End of story. If they can no longer get a rise out I f you they'll eventually drop it.
Author incognus Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 (edited) @cherrypum. I think you misunderstood..I havent been gossiping at all..it is her, and its very noticeable....sshe's close friends with many of the managers and our co workers and thier shift in how they treat me and act when we are both @ work shows me something has changed in thier opinion about me The thing that got back to her I believe rooted from a candid conversation I was having one night, but speaking on our private issues is her forte...not mine I think the main thing that is bothering me is I don't like having someone that I care about think the worst of me...she's obviously mad and disgusted..and its probably unjustified... Edited September 22, 2013 by incognus
Author incognus Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 (edited) Rise above it. Your real friends know who you are. What others think shouldn't matter to you personally. If they try to hurt you professionally you can protect yourself by 1 keeping a record of what's been said directly to you and 2 not retaliating. Tell whoever is trying to stir up drama to please leave you out of it. You dated and it didn't work out. End of story. If they can no longer get a rise out I f you they'll eventually drop it. Good advice..I'm at the point now where I've dropped it, I'm over her and the idea of us ever being friends due to her behavior.. Its just the pride of me knowing who I am, but whatever it was she heard that "turned her" is not of my character I'm sure and even if it is, I feel like I should at least be able to own up to it and have some closure.. But if its a pipedream, ill just focus on my job and nothing more...its still super awkward when she's 2 feet in front of me at work and won't even make eye contact as if I'm a stranger, and 2 months ago this girl was supposedly "in Love with me" And our post breakup dealings are like the elephant in the room...no one talks about it even though I know she has...and peopel walk on egg shells to make sure they don't talk to us in the radius of one another....she's all smiles with our co workers until I walk by..then the air gets frigid... Edited September 22, 2013 by incognus
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