Fugee Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 so my ex has been posting things on her blog. saying things like...."if you love someone, you better prove it. because love is not a noun to be defined, but a verb to be acted upon." also posting things like the perks of being single vs being in a relationship. last time we spoke was a month ago and we got into a huge arguement. why is she posting stuff like this if she hates me? is she missing me? does she want me to prove my love to her??
mikei880 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 It sounds to me like she is trying to self validate her thoughts or actions. Maybe trying to guilt you, who knows? Whatever the case she is an ex for a reason. Her behavior does not reflect on you. Respect yourself and her, take the high road and move on... good luck 2
Author Fugee Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 It sounds to me like she is trying to self validate her thoughts or actions. Maybe trying to guilt you, who knows? Whatever the case she is an ex for a reason. Her behavior does not reflect on you. Respect yourself and her, take the high road and move on... good luck yeah, but she's says "you better prove it." idk what to do, i have been in no contact for a while, should i "prove" myself?? sounds like she wants to act on something. 1
Chi townD Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 so my ex has been posting things on her blog. saying things like...."if you love someone, you better prove it. because love is not a noun to be defined, but a verb to be acted upon." also posting things like the perks of being single vs being in a relationship. last time we spoke was a month ago and we got into a huge arguement. why is she posting stuff like this if she hates me? is she missing me? does she want me to prove my love to her?? Meh...all that blog post told me was a weird way into giving an English lesson. Ignore it.
reddragon588 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Both of those things you mentioned do not seem like mixed signals. They seem pretty clear, and it's not that she wants to be in a relationship. I'm curious as to how her talking about enjoying being single is a mixed signal. You should probably stop reading her blog too. 1
Author Fugee Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 Both of those things you mentioned do not seem like mixed signals. They seem pretty clear, and it's not that she wants to be in a relationship. I'm curious as to how her talking about enjoying being single is a mixed signal. You should probably stop reading her blog too. the perks of being in a relationship too, like she hates guys hitting on her, she misses going on dates, etc....
crederer Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Not mixed signals, apparently you and I interperted what she said completely differently.
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 the perks of being in a relationship too, like she hates guys hitting on her, she misses going on dates, etc.... Still doesn't sound like mixed signals to me. Actions speak louder than words.
Author Fugee Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 she's been acting indifferent for hella long time. all the sudden she's talking about relationship things...
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 she's been acting indifferent for hella long time. all the sudden she's talking about relationship things... Not with you though. Mixed signals would be if she were having those conversations with you.
Author Fugee Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 doesn't matter, she's always directing things like that towards me, she knows read her blog. its indirect, everybody knows its towards me.
reddragon588 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 If she is directing it towards you... which I don't believe to be frank... it's very immature of her, and passive-aggressive behavior like that should be a red flag.
Author Fugee Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 If she is directing it towards you... which I don't believe to be frank... it's very immature of her, and passive-aggressive behavior like that should be a red flag. lol, damn why is it hard to believe thats its towards me. its hella obvious. i've know her for years, i think i know how she acts.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 lol, damn why is it hard to believe thats its towards me. its hella obvious. i've know her for years, i think i know how she acts. Who the F*** cares?!?! There is no mixed signals or whatever you feel there is. Mixed signals would be if she told you point blank. She isn't, so they aren't. Red is 1000% correct. You shouldnt be reading her blogs fwiw. Its going to cause you to overthink a LOT. 1
Author Fugee Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 Who the F*** cares?!?! There is no mixed signals or whatever you feel there is. Mixed signals would be if she told you point blank. She isn't, so they aren't. Red is 1000% correct. You shouldnt be reading her blogs fwiw. Its going to cause you to overthink a LOT. obviously i f*cking care.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Stop Reading Her Blog!! Solves all of your problems!! 4
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 obviously i f*cking care. Well, if you do, then you will realize that reading blogs and trying to over-analyze what she says will ONLY set you farther back and wont solve anything. The facts are there, you are just not wanting to see them. I saw your other post and you want to claim GIGS and get mad at her and all this other stuff, but what facts are there are there: She broke up with you. She felt like your relationship wasnt worth it anymore. Does it suck? Yes of course it does....thats why sites like these exist. At the same time, you have to realize that you have no control over it. SHE chose to do this, so trying to do anything about it is futile, AND unhealthy. What you CAN do is go NO CONTACT (so dont call, text, AND NO ONLINE LOOKS! This includes blogs, social media, ANYTHING). Move forward from this 1
Trick1004 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 obviously i f*cking care. Of course you care! Doesn't matter though, does your ex CARE? Like others have said quit reading her blog. Anything you read there is keeping you hooked. Cut all ties, it's hard as **** but really is the only way to move forward for yourself. Do you really want to be someone six months, a year, a year and a half , hung up on what your ex is posting on a blog? 1
heartshaped Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 She might miss you, but not enough to be with you or take any real steps to talk to you. I read your previous threads. I know break ups are hard especially when it comes out of the blue, but it really is best if you try to move on. You'll never be good enough for her and that's not your fault it's her issue. Some woman will love and appreciate you for who you are and not blindside you over something silly. 2
Eddie007 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 lol, damn why is it hard to believe thats its towards me. its hella obvious. i've know her for years, i think i know how she acts. If you know her so well why are you on here asking strangers her intentions? You've known her for years so you should know right? I know its tough, but you really need to stop fishing and latching on to any little bit of info. It will drive you mad. No one knows how she feels but her. I wish I knew how my ex was feeling right now but I don't and no one on this board can tell me. I understand your pain. Im in the same boat. Go total NC and if and when she is ready she will reach out to you. 2
JourneyLady Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 She might miss you, but not enough to be with you or take any real steps to talk to you. I read your previous threads. I know break ups are hard especially when it comes out of the blue, but it really is best if you try to move on. You'll never be good enough for her and that's not your fault it's her issue. Some woman will love and appreciate you for who you are and not blindside you over something silly. You know you can say that and think it's obvious. But there are some men who are emotionally or verbally abusive, some that are lazy and some that have no job and some that are all three and will never be with a woman for long. If that were true, there wouldn't be so many undesirable people walking around single and lonely. I know several men who would love to date again, but can't get a woman interested. One is way too much overweight and ill, so I'm afraid to get attached because it feels too much like he won't be around long. Another seems like a good person, but doesn't take care of himself and so I am not attracted. Sorry but it's not true that everyone will find someone to love them. They will if they can correct MAJOR flaws, but before that they will only find temporary love interests. None of us know both sides of the story of anyone who comes in here. She may want to see change before being with him again. I know with one of my ex's, I'd have to see real commitment (years) beyond just a few days or months before ever being with him again. Did I love him as he was? Certainly - but he didn't love ME and he would have to prove that in a huge way, because I left the relationship feeling totally used. Ex-bf lied to me about so many things and mostly be he was not committed to the relationship and left because of GIGs and because I wouldn't let him use me anymore. I'd have to see that I wasn't his last resort in order to ever let him back in my life -- even as a friend. Massive changes in his attitude would be called for. I won't say that's impossible, but they are highly improbable. Some people do change - I certainly did...
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 You know you can say that and think it's obvious. But there are some men who are emotionally or verbally abusive, some that are lazy and some that have no job and some that are all three and will never be with a woman for long. If that were true, there wouldn't be so many undesirable people walking around single and lonely. I know several men who would love to date again, but can't get a woman interested. One is way too much overweight and ill, so I'm afraid to get attached because it feels too much like he won't be around long. Another seems like a good person, but doesn't take care of himself and so I am not attracted. Sorry but it's not true that everyone will find someone to love them. They will if they can correct MAJOR flaws, but before that they will only find temporary love interests. None of us know both sides of the story of anyone who comes in here. She may want to see change before being with him again. I know with one of my ex's, I'd have to see real commitment (years) beyond just a few days or months before ever being with him again. Did I love him as he was? Certainly - but he didn't love ME and he would have to prove that in a huge way, because I left the relationship feeling totally used. Ex-bf lied to me about so many things and mostly be he was not committed to the relationship and left because of GIGs and because I wouldn't let him use me anymore. I'd have to see that I wasn't his last resort in order to ever let him back in my life -- even as a friend. Massive changes in his attitude would be called for. I won't say that's impossible, but they are highly improbable. Some people do change - I certainly did... In bold....yeah IF they want that (which MANY of them dont) THEY WILL TELL YOU. The girl in this situation isnt doing that but the OP wants to believe that is is through a blog. People dont break up with people to try and get the other person to try harder or prove a point...and if they actually do, they are the worst type of immature person. Either way for the OP, it doesnt matter unless she WANTS that and breaking up shows she doesnt want that. 2
heartshaped Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 You know you can say that and think it's obvious. But there are some men who are emotionally or verbally abusive, some that are lazy and some that have no job and some that are all three and will never be with a woman for long. If that were true, there wouldn't be so many undesirable people walking around single and lonely. I know several men who would love to date again, but can't get a woman interested. One is way too much overweight and ill, so I'm afraid to get attached because it feels too much like he won't be around long. Another seems like a good person, but doesn't take care of himself and so I am not attracted. Sorry but it's not true that everyone will find someone to love them. They will if they can correct MAJOR flaws, but before that they will only find temporary love interests. None of us know both sides of the story of anyone who comes in here. She may want to see change before being with him again. I know with one of my ex's, I'd have to see real commitment (years) beyond just a few days or months before ever being with him again. Did I love him as he was? Certainly - but he didn't love ME and he would have to prove that in a huge way, because I left the relationship feeling totally used. Ex-bf lied to me about so many things and mostly be he was not committed to the relationship and left because of GIGs and because I wouldn't let him use me anymore. I'd have to see that I wasn't his last resort in order to ever let him back in my life -- even as a friend. Massive changes in his attitude would be called for. I won't say that's impossible, but they are highly improbable. Some people do change - I certainly did... You're projecting. OP has none of the aforementioned problems. From what I can tell from his threads, he's a decent guy, but his ex broke up with him because he "didn't have a degree" although he owns his own business and because he was a bit down a few times they went out. His ex is young and is looking for Mr. Perfect. She's entitled, but he's also entitled to stop giving a **** which is what I suggest. Also, I might just be naive, but I do believe there is someone out there for everyone that will love them for who they are. 2
Author Fugee Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 (edited) You know you can say that and think it's obvious. But there are some men who are emotionally or verbally abusive, some that are lazy and some that have no job and some that are all three and will never be with a woman for long. If that were true, there wouldn't be so many undesirable people walking around single and lonely. I know several men who would love to date again, but can't get a woman interested. One is way too much overweight and ill, so I'm afraid to get attached because it feels too much like he won't be around long. Another seems like a good person, but doesn't take care of himself and so I am not attracted. Sorry but it's not true that everyone will find someone to love them. They will if they can correct MAJOR flaws, but before that they will only find temporary love interests. None of us know both sides of the story of anyone who comes in here. She may want to see change before being with him again. I know with one of my ex's, I'd have to see real commitment (years) beyond just a few days or months before ever being with him again. Did I love him as he was? Certainly - but he didn't love ME and he would have to prove that in a huge way, because I left the relationship feeling totally used. Ex-bf lied to me about so many things and mostly be he was not committed to the relationship and left because of GIGs and because I wouldn't let him use me anymore. I'd have to see that I wasn't his last resort in order to ever let him back in my life -- even as a friend. Massive changes in his attitude would be called for. I won't say that's impossible, but they are highly improbable. Some people do change - I certainly did... are you f*cking kidding me?!!! if you should take time to read my story before you judge me and jump to conclusions! i'm not lazy, i worked hard to start my own business, she left because i don't have a degree, which you don't need in my field. and she's not after my money either, she just wants a guy with a 'title.' i was never abusive to her, she was the one who was emotionally and verbally abusive, i was passive and got depressed from it. Edited September 23, 2013 by Fugee 2
Simon Phoenix Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 You know you can say that and think it's obvious. But there are some men who are emotionally or verbally abusive, some that are lazy and some that have no job and some that are all three and will never be with a woman for long. If that were true, there wouldn't be so many undesirable people walking around single and lonely. I know several men who would love to date again, but can't get a woman interested. One is way too much overweight and ill, so I'm afraid to get attached because it feels too much like he won't be around long. Another seems like a good person, but doesn't take care of himself and so I am not attracted. Sorry but it's not true that everyone will find someone to love them. They will if they can correct MAJOR flaws, but before that they will only find temporary love interests. None of us know both sides of the story of anyone who comes in here. She may want to see change before being with him again. I know with one of my ex's, I'd have to see real commitment (years) beyond just a few days or months before ever being with him again. Did I love him as he was? Certainly - but he didn't love ME and he would have to prove that in a huge way, because I left the relationship feeling totally used. Ex-bf lied to me about so many things and mostly be he was not committed to the relationship and left because of GIGs and because I wouldn't let him use me anymore. I'd have to see that I wasn't his last resort in order to ever let him back in my life -- even as a friend. Massive changes in his attitude would be called for. I won't say that's impossible, but they are highly improbable. Some people do change - I certainly did... Yeah, I think it might be time for you to take a lap. 3
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