nell1020 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Hi all I am a bit concerned about something and wanted advice if possible. I have been seeing a guy for a short while, all seems to be going ok but perhaps a few red flags. We are in our 30's, both divorced. We met online so he isn't anyone I know any history of. We got together recently and he was messing around with his phone. He then asked me for my mobile number and then typed it into a cell phone tracker app, which then proceeded to track my phone location. The app then pulled up google maps and my exact whereabouts. I felt a bit surprised by this and asked if it was legal. He said he didn't know and that he got it from a friend. He also says he has caught out a few people before by using this app and by them lieing about which location they are in. He then said to me 'So there is no escaping from me then!' and laughed. I sort of laughed too but in honesty I was a bit freaked out by the whole thing. Today after doing a bit of researching I know this was likely a prank app that tracked *his* GPS location and not mine. However, I do know there are apps out there that can help you find phones that are lost. Other early issues were also him getting annoyed that I was still logging on to the dating website before I had even met him and accusations of dating multiple men (which I wasn't). If the phone app was a prank, why didn't he say so at the time? I'm just worried I'm heading into a controlling relationship here. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks N
todreaminblue Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 i dont have a problem with being tracked because i dont have anything to hide ...the only time i have a problem being tracked is if it is to do me harm and or invade my personal space time by dropping in on me unawares....that woudl get on my nerves...i need time to myself........i dont lie about where i am so ...track away......honestly you wouldnt know who has tracking devices on your phone its hidden .....my sister used to be tracked by an ex boyfriend and yes...he knew exactly where she had been....there are trackers that track a location of a phone that isnt your own..nad theres one that actually will take a picture in real time of your surroundings........deb
BikerAccnt Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I would have told him I don't like the idea of your tracking me, please remove my number from that application and show me that you've done it. I know he could always put the number back in, but this would have let him know your not happy about it. It could have been innocent, plenty of people use apps like FourSquare to keep tabs on where friends are and what they are doing. Things like that. Sill, I think he could have asked you and told you about the app first. That would have been the proper way of doing it. It does seem a bit creepy using his method
BlueJeanTangerine Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Hi all He then said to me 'So there is no escaping from me then!' and laughed. I sort of laughed too but in honesty I was a bit freaked out by the whole thing. Other early issues were also him getting annoyed that I was still logging on to the dating website before I had even met him and accusations of dating multiple men (which I wasn't). If the phone app was a prank, why didn't he say so at the time? I'm just worried I'm heading into a controlling relationship here. N I would be freaked out too. It sounds like he has some issues. I'd steer clear, if you are seeing signs like this now imagine 6 months from now.
Author nell1020 Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Thanks for the advice. Yes, I am still a bit freaked out by the whole thing. I wouldn't mind if his tracking was for a genuine concern for my safety, but from what he said it was to try to catch me out being somewhere I wasn't. I don't have anything to hide but I just think you should trust people, rather than tracking their locations! When I woke up this morning after staying at his last night my phone also said that the memory was nearly full and that I should uninstall some apps. A weird coincidence? Creepy stuff, now I'm getting paranoid. N
waiting4u Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Early on in dating it's important to listen to your gut and pay attention to what doesn't feel right. The more involved you become with someone, the more potential for you to be involved in (or with) an emotional mess. Stop seeing this guy and don't tell him why, as he's likely to manipulate you with some sort of explanation. 1
happywithlife Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I wouldn't walk away from this guy, I would run. His actions sound way too controlling and demanding. If you haven't met in person, you have every right to be still looking on a dating site. You even have the right to casually date other men in the early stages before things get physical and you become a committed boyfriend/girlfriend. And, no one should be tracking your phone! Especially someone you really don't know. I would erase the app off your phone and let the guy know you aren't feeling it and then block his number. 1
93TheHitStick Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 yea he sounds loco. Hes probably trying to make you think he can really track you cuz in his mind it will stop you from cheating. All bad from the start. As another poster said run forest.
Author nell1020 Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Hi Yes, I figured already it was probably a fake app and if he had admitted it at the time, I would have found it funny. What gets me is he made out to me it was real and told me that he had his eye on me so to speak. N
Author nell1020 Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Any other signs he crazy? Well this obviously isn't a sign that he is crazy, however he did ask me to be friends on facebook before we met as well, which I felt a bit uncomfortable about. The whole thing just seems a bit 'big brotherish'. N
crederer Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I'm pretty sure there is no app that you can track other peoples cell's by just putting in their number. It has to be installed on your phone and then it transfers to his if he wants to see it on google maps.
TaraMaiden Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Test him. next time you speak on the phone, ask him, "So, where am I, then?" THEN - run a mile. Or just do that anyway. jerk.
MalachiX Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Sorry but this guys sounds super creepy. I'd never do that to a girl, even as a joke with a fake app. It sounds like he was trying to put you on notice that he wants to know where you are and doesn't trust you. That really indicates that there's something up with this guy. Granted none of us have met him but, if your gut is telling you something is wrong, you should get out now. I'd rather not read a thread in six months that says, "Crazy Ex-boyfriend is stalking me!"
Menina Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 This is a HUGE red flag for me. Prank or not that sounds like some trust and control issues. If some guy pulled that on me I would run for my life. Most of the abusive, controling and maniulative relationships I know started of with this type of "jokes". First the tracking, then the "where you at?", the constant text messages/calls if you don't answer quickly, et al.
Author nell1020 Posted September 25, 2013 Author Posted September 25, 2013 Thanks all for your replies. I decided to confront him about it in a jokey sort of way and said I knew it was a fake app and that I knew it was tracking his phone and not mine, but nice try! He laughed and said 'ah you caught me out then!' and seemed quite amused by it all. It still seems weird to me though that he would want me to think that he could locate me by my phone. What do you guys think. Should I still run for the hills? N
MidwestUSA Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Yes, based on his "accusations" of you and noting that you were still logging onto the dating site when you have every right too. I've met his type; it gets worse, much worse, and quickly. Control freak. 1
Author nell1020 Posted September 28, 2013 Author Posted September 28, 2013 Thanks again everyone. Just to let you know I told him I won't be seeing him anymore. I made my decision after also finding out he had been updating his profile every day and writing that he is still looking for a good woman, whilst telling me he isn't looking for anyone else. Not a high quality guy and a hypocrite :-( Best wishes N 1
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