Confused and lost??? Just would really like some feedback on this situation.

[Ganou]

I know this same situation has happened to many of you. I myself have never had this happen and feel lost and confused on the whole situation. Any advices please tell me what to do or what not to do.

 

The story goes like this. About 2yrs ago now I met up with a girl who seemed impossible for me to even talk to, I met her while I was working and at the place when she was working. I did get her phone number, weird enough as it sounds, but just ignored it as I truly though 'there is no was in hell she would talk to me', especially with the field of work that I was in at the time, Tour Manager for a band. With all the traveling and crap that is associated with this job, there is no way in hell building a relationship could work, also many girls that I had met were just in it for one reason only.

 

2 months later I was having some time off and decided to call her and see if there was any possibility that we could meet up for lunch or something, we both resided in the same town.

 

This went so well and took off more than I could have even expected. We have been together up until this past Sunday. I have changed my career to be with her so that I wouldn't be away for several months at a time. She has since moved in with and lived with me for the past year and it seemed every thought that was the "Perfect Couple".

 

Where it goes downhill began back in August, she decided to take a trip out east to visit family for a week. Upon her return, she seemed very dark cold and unwilling to express any emotions. I have asked her stories, but to no avail only received a few, which is truly unlike her, she loves to talk. Not sure why this is the turning point but this is when I begin to notice major changes.

 

Also, another situation that arose was a major family issues between her parents, which definitely contributes to her problems as of late. The biggest concern that I have is that she bottles everything up, and never lets any of it out. With something like this you need someone’s shoulder to cry on, its not easy to do it all by yourself.

 

It has take a toll on our relationship since then, she pretty much refused to allow me to hug her, kiss her etc...Without even have to ask her first if I could.

 

I just love her so much, and both of us have expressed that we have never felt like this with anyone before.

 

Just don't understand the sudden change in attitude towards our relationship....I just need to know what is going through her mind at his time, but she refused to talk about anything.

 

I just wish I have some answers, and wish I knew what I could do to help.

[magda]

It's no wonder you're confused. She's given you very little to go on. You can only keep letting her know you want to know what happened on her trip that is causing this change in your relationship. Don't go into it like you want to "fix it". Don't say "how can I help". There's probably nothing you can do to help. Just try and let her vent to you. Let her know you wish you knew what was going on. Perhaps something in her parents relationship has caused her to feel differently about her own relationship - or maybe the situation there is so dire she can't think of anything else. Who knows. Ask her why she feels like she can't talk to you and if you should be worried. Give it a bit of time, but let her know that you are there to support her in good times and bad but that you can only do it if she leans on you.

[Ganou]

Oh yeah forgot to mention in the last post that she wishes to have a break from me. Not sure why.

 

But Magda, in response to your last reply, I have tried my best to get her to talk, she just continues to be the pillar of everyone elses problems. I have tried this for 3 months trying to get her to open up, but still she won;t that is why I so cnfused as to why she would want to leave me right now.

 

I feel useless as I can;t even be there for her...I don;t know why she won;t open up.