HeartInPieces Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I mean, I'm in NC right now myself, and I understand why I should be... It's just that I spent 5+ years with this person. Shared my deepest darkest secrets, so many memories together, intimate moments... and now it's down to a game. I know, NC isn't to get them back. But at this point that's my last shred of hope. That she'll miss me and come back. I cut off contact because I was in limited contact for two months and I've had enough pain. So here I am, ignoring her texts.. hoping she'll wake up one day and realize she really does want to be with me. And it's all just a game -- How long can I go without contacting her. 2
Sparkle304 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Um, just curious.......how does a person move on with his/her life if he/she keeps contacting their past?
JDPT Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Um, just curious.......how does a person move on with his/her life if he/she keeps contacting their past? Take a look at your word choice "move on" & "keeps contacting" the two do not equate do they? There is your answer. 1
ellowmay Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I've been thinking the same thing. No contact just seems so...unrealistic in a way. After spending years with someone how can you so easily strip them off of you? It doesn't seem natural to be so callous... I can totally understand how you're feeling though. I'm in the same situation. I know the distance is good, but at the same time, it's like you're missing a limb. 1
keepontruckin Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 You want an example of why no contact is the best? I'll give you one. Now, bear in mind that my wife left over five months ago, and in that period has had me served with divorce papers... I ran into her at the grocery store a few days ago. We both tried to make small talk for a few minutes, and it was pointless... In most all cultures a hug at the end of a visit is considered the norm, so I did so. You know, I'm thinking this may be the last we see of each other ever, so a hug certainly takes little to no effort. She was as stiff as a god damned board, and as cold as ice... And didn't even return the hug. This, my friend, is what they think of you... You repulse them. You repulse them to the point where they are repulsed with the thought of a hug from you. Learn from my experiences... 2
stitch702 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I've been thinking the same thing. No contact just seems so...unrealistic in a way. After spending years with someone how can you so easily strip them off of you? It doesn't seem natural to be so callous... I can totally understand how you're feeling though. I'm in the same situation. I know the distance is good, but at the same time, it's like you're missing a limb. We'll after spending years with someone how could THEY so easily leave you?! Trust me no contact helps get over that person and helps you heal to get your head straight and think without being overwhelmed with emotion. I mean do you honestly want to be around when he/she begins dating other people? After nc and you both have moved on and settled and have grown accustomed to living life without viewing each other as a couple, only then is it ok to be friends if possible. I know some of my exes have become good friends after years of no contact. We chat from time to time and I'm ok because I no longer see her in that light...it truly feels empowering 4
Sparkle304 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Take a look at your word choice "move on" & "keeps contacting" the two do not equate do they? There is your answer. That was a rhetorical question that I posted......
KatZee Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I know, NC isn't to get them back. So why are you even playing this game? Using NC to get someone to come back is nothing but emotional manipulation. You want her to come back because she WANTS to, not because you're "punishing her" by withholding whatever it is she can get from you. Also, NC only works if the person wants to come back. For everyone else, NC is nothing but relief. It's the heavy exhale and sitting back and saying, "Finally. He finally got it and has gone away." NC is not weird at all. My ex dumped me a year and a half ago, that night was the last night he ever saw or spoke to me. I've never regretted it for a second. It's the fastest way to get over someone, restart your life, and move on. 2
SadPanda22 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 NC is not weird at all. My ex dumped me a year and a half ago, that night was the last night he ever saw or spoke to me. I've never regretted it for a second. It's the fastest way to get over someone, restart your life, and move on. I am with KatZee on this (I agree with her on most things, she gives excellent advice). My very first boyfriend, who I was with for 8 years, dumped me like a sack of s.hit about a year and a half ago. I haven't spoken a word to him since. He still contacts me randomly, and I ignore him every single time. He wanted a life without me in it, now he has it. He has no business contacting me anymore, and we have no reason to speak to one another. Our relationship is over. 5
halifaxboy Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I am with KatZee on this (I agree with her on most things, she gives excellent advice). My very first boyfriend, who I was with for 8 years, dumped me like a sack of s.hit about a year and a half ago. I haven't spoken a word to him since. He still contacts me randomly, and I ignore him every single time. He wanted a life without me in it, now he has it. He has no business contacting me anymore, and we have no reason to speak to one another. Our relationship is over. He still contacts me randomly, and I ignore him every single time. He wanted a life without me in it, now he has it. He has no business contacting me anymore, and we have no reason to speak to one another. Our relationship is over. Excellent comment! That is the point! 2
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