jacg89 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 we spend every day together. we just started making out about a month ago, but have been friends for a year, we always hung out, but just as friends. at that time, I was basically begging him (in my head haha) to kiss me. I was falling for him and it was just driving me crazy. now, we have been making out for a month. we hang out every single day, and when we are not hanging out, we usually text each other at least once a day. we're not kids, I am 24 & he's 31. I really do love him, and he loves me.. (we are not having sex yet btw.) and we are not exclusive bf/gf yet but I only have experience with 1 other boyfriend, we were together for 4 years & just broke up a little over a year ago.. the other guy made me weak in the knees, I had butterflies our entire relationship & basically was infatuated with him. This guy, I don't feel any of that. I am very comfortable with him, and I do love him, but I don't feel the same way. I know its normal for me to not be IN love with him yet, I just don't feel that butterfly-ish feeling that I had with my ex. what does this mean?
Author jacg89 Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 we spend every day together. we just started making out about a month ago, but have been friends for a year, we always hung out, but just as friends. at that time, I was basically begging him (in my head haha) to kiss me. I was falling for him and it was just driving me crazy. now, we have been making out for a month. we hang out every single day, and when we are not hanging out, we usually text each other at least once a day. we're not kids, I am 24 & he's 31. I really do love him, and he loves me.. (we are not having sex yet btw.) and we are not exclusive bf/gf yet but I only have experience with 1 other boyfriend, we were together for 4 years & just broke up a little over a year ago.. the other guy made me weak in the knees, I had butterflies our entire relationship & basically was infatuated with him. This guy, I don't feel any of that. I am very comfortable with him, and I do love him, but I don't feel the same way. I know its normal for me to not be IN love with him yet, I just don't feel that butterfly-ish feeling that I had with my ex. what does this mean? also, with this guy, he treats me better than my ex did in every single way. I paid for everything with my ex and my ex messed with my head to get in my pants our entire relationship. I was recently sick and this guy took care of me, and I made him sick too because he wanted to kiss me anyway. when we go out, im not allowed to pay, EVER. he takes my debit card and puts it in his wallet until we go home. so I have no choice
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 we spend every day together. we just started making out about a month ago, but have been friends for a year, we always hung out, but just as friends. at that time, I was basically begging him (in my head haha) to kiss me. I was falling for him and it was just driving me crazy. now, we have been making out for a month. we hang out every single day, and when we are not hanging out, we usually text each other at least once a day. we're not kids, I am 24 & he's 31. I really do love him, and he loves me.. (we are not having sex yet btw.) and we are not exclusive bf/gf yet but I only have experience with 1 other boyfriend, we were together for 4 years & just broke up a little over a year ago.. the other guy made me weak in the knees, I had butterflies our entire relationship & basically was infatuated with him. This guy, I don't feel any of that. I am very comfortable with him, and I do love him, but I don't feel the same way. I know its normal for me to not be IN love with him yet, I just don't feel that butterfly-ish feeling that I had with my ex. what does this mean? I'm a bit confused. You're not exclusive, you're not really sexually intimate, you're not falling for him...it sounds more like you're close friends than anything resembling a couple (save for the make-outs) Don't force yourself into becoming one if you're not feeling it, because it really seems as though you're not into him on that level. I'd taper off the contact for a little while. You don't have to stop communicating with him, but perhaps just not so frequently. See each other less often. Is he asking you for more?
madjac74 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 also, with this guy, he treats me better than my ex did in every single way. I paid for everything with my ex and my ex messed with my head to get in my pants our entire relationship. I was recently sick and this guy took care of me, and I made him sick too because he wanted to kiss me anyway. when we go out, im not allowed to pay, EVER. he takes my debit card and puts it in his wallet until we go home. so I have no choice He could be trying to get in your pants just like your ex but he has a different way of going about it. And he takes your debit card???!! Maybe you will end up paying for those dinners when he cleans out your bank account!
Author jacg89 Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 I'm a bit confused. You're not exclusive, you're not really sexually intimate, you're not falling for him...it sounds more like you're close friends than anything resembling a couple (save for the make-outs) Don't force yourself into becoming one if you're not feeling it, because it really seems as though you're not into him on that level. I'd taper off the contact for a little while. You don't have to stop communicating with him, but perhaps just not so frequently. See each other less often. Is he asking you for more? About us not being exclusive, the only reason is being that he says he doesn't want either of us to get hurt because he has to leave for his country in a few months, and he is going to be gone for 6 months. he doesn't want to be like "that *******" as he says. he told me that I "am" going to go to his country but for the first time he goes back he wants to go alone since its been like 10 years since he's been there, & he has to go there to work on his farm. and about us being sexually intimate, he does want to. and I do want to. and we almost got there once.. but I had to stop it. and only because I heard that if you give yourself too easy or too fast then the other person may get bored, and I told him I don't want him to think of me as that kind of person anyway, and we talked all about it, and I am planning on just going all the way with him next time we hang out alone. I totally respect the fact that we can't be "exclusive" right now, but we are both not seeing anybody else, and I can't help but feel like that is a delay with him about sex...
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