halifaxboy Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Just a rant: You have to take a stand and realize that they kicked you to the curb, threw you away for whatever reason, they don't want you, they've thought about it long and hard, they've started being interested in other guys, they want the early "love" phase of a relationship but can't have it with you because they are tired of the same old same old...YES even if you are a nice guy, they may have new friends and new jobs, it could be GIGS...who cares!! They don't want you...get that through your head. If someone truly loves you and wants to be with you, they will be with you. No contact....ZERO..ever. 32 days ago the gal i had a relationship with for 6.5 years dumped me (new job with friends, out for drinks after work every night, i'm sure a guy)..who cares! There is not one single thing i can do about any of that regardless of how much I love her. Within 5 min after she told me she wanted the break up (actually she didn't even have the balls to say it i asked "so are you breaking up with me?" to which she replied "sure"). I asked her for my keys and said by don't contact me ever again. That was 32 days ago and will never contact her. These people threw us away period, right or wrong..better or worse, its done. The least we can do for ourselves is to not give the satisfaction of any contact. I'm 41 and have been around the block more than once and can say they always come back once (in my case anyways) and it's because of no contact, in my case i'm always so offended that i got dumped i'll never take them back regardless. Move on, heal, be good to yourself. Stop trying to think why, it's irrelevant ..climb in it, have a cry, and crawl out, slowly and better. GIGS doesn't mean ****..and all contact is doing is putting you on the back burner until they are bored again. I mean would you really take them back after they leave to test the water's and see if there's anything better? Have some sex with a couple different people? C'mon, grow some! It hurts sure, it suck's big time. It's nothing more than an ego thing..you hurt because some of you think the next person they are with is going to be better than you...well of course they are..at first, for a while...remember they dumped you cause they were bored, tired, lost attraction, fought too much, etc. Again who cares,,its all ego..why care who they sleep with after you? Did you really care about the ones before you? These people are habits, nothing more, As i stated earlier true love doesn't end up broken, so move on and concentrate on finding it not wasting your heart on someone who threw you away. Be strong me Amigo's/Amiga's and don't give them any more power. NO CONTACT!!!! 16
loversquarrel Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 That deserves one big effing HUA!!! 1
rosa1128 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Thanks, I needed that! Stay strong, halifaxboy!
lauri Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 This rant should be pinned. Couldn't have said it better myself.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 3 years, an engagement and moving across state for me. Exactly as what you stated above. Been 6 months of NC and it still stings. Rejection is the hardest part. And that they just move on so easily. *sigh...
D862 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Damn dude you're so right. But I think the fact of knowing how many partners she had before and me worried about that ruined it. I wasn't jealous. Or I'm trusting. But she was a huge club girl before we date and stopped. And she said "she needed to focus on herself" which I believe but it's been 10 days now and I'm struggling. I'm telling myself to be strong when a thought goes through my mind. Deleted numbers, threw away everything. But losing someone you love does hurt you're right. But struggling is a part of life. And fighting is a way of beating that struggle.
supaflyz Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Great advice!!! You are right. All that wondering why this and why that will only cause more pain and prolong the healing process.
keepontruckin Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Although sometimes easier said than done to implement at first, halifaxboy is certainly correct...
Author halifaxboy Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Agreed keepon 100%, the point is i'm saying i hurt like all you, but we're gonna anyways until as i said "crawl out of it" which we all will.. why add to it by giving them any satisfaction? It's like sending a guy a cheque after he robs you ..?? You simply have to get the notion out of your head they they are coming back, which in my opinion is the only reason for the dumpee to "play games", contact, all that BS..they dont care, trust me..they were gone while they were still in the relationship..thats how women do it (and men)..read these forums, its like a broken record. As i said they always come back once ...always..for whatever reason i dont know, but you must...must cut them immediately when they say "i'm done"...The probibility of them coming back is about 5% and i'm sure that's only for a while..i 've gone through it with a 10 year relationship, married.. and i was much better after it was done and you know what she came back after years and said "i made a huge mistake and i want you back" not a chance because i was healed. It takes a while, but you are feeling things..its good for yourself that you go through this pain because it proves regardless of your rights or wrongs in the relationship, you are feeling the loss..that's important..you have to own that sh*t, it will grow you in a way you don't even see yet. As i said the rest of it is just missing the "habbit"..places, things, positions..lol. Anyways...just my 2 cents, as i said im only 33 days NO CONTACT and i hurt and miss the same as all y'all but...nothing i can do can change what is actually happening and no ammount of contact can change anything..she said she/he is gone, so she/he is gone..everyword you say will drive them a mile further away and every word you don't will save you in one way or another, with the..without them..dignity intact and valuble lessons learned that can never be taken away ..chin's up humans, we all do this together..happy Sunday..have a fun-day! 4
Author halifaxboy Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 D862, you can ever control what she did before and cannot control what she does after she quits you...thats my point friend. What we tend to forget is, imagine to reverse roles.. we are done with them and they keep squawking, beeking, chirping to get us back.."oh baby i was an ******* for 4 years but now in 60 days im changed"..lol..give your head a shake folks! Thats what we as the "dumpee' are doing. Would you run closer or further? Now don't get me wrong i'm not saying everyone was the cause of their breakup..it always takes 2...ALWAYS!! and that's normal but you stick it out because you are truly in love, and they didn't because they simply are not...learn, grow, and give it to someone who will be blown away by it! You will 1
JoelBarish Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Just a rant: You have to take a stand and realize that they kicked you to the curb, threw you away for whatever reason, they don't want you, they've thought about it long and hard, they've started being interested in other guys, they want the early "love" phase of a relationship but can't have it with you because they are tired of the same old same old...YES even if you are a nice guy, they may have new friends and new jobs, it could be GIGS...who cares!! They don't want you...get that through your head. If someone truly loves you and wants to be with you, they will be with you. No contact....ZERO..ever. 32 days ago the gal i had a relationship with for 6.5 years dumped me (new job with friends, out for drinks after work every night, i'm sure a guy)..who cares! There is not one single thing i can do about any of that regardless of how much I love her. Within 5 min after she told me she wanted the break up (actually she didn't even have the balls to say it i asked "so are you breaking up with me?" to which she replied "sure"). I asked her for my keys and said by don't contact me ever again. That was 32 days ago and will never contact her. These people threw us away period, right or wrong..better or worse, its done. The least we can do for ourselves is to not give the satisfaction of any contact. I'm 41 and have been around the block more than once and can say they always come back once (in my case anyways) and it's because of no contact, in my case i'm always so offended that i got dumped i'll never take them back regardless. Move on, heal, be good to yourself. Stop trying to think why, it's irrelevant ..climb in it, have a cry, and crawl out, slowly and better. GIGS doesn't mean ****..and all contact is doing is putting you on the back burner until they are bored again. I mean would you really take them back after they leave to test the water's and see if there's anything better? Have some sex with a couple different people? C'mon, grow some! It hurts sure, it suck's big time. It's nothing more than an ego thing..you hurt because some of you think the next person they are with is going to be better than you...well of course they are..at first, for a while...remember they dumped you cause they were bored, tired, lost attraction, fought too much, etc. Again who cares,,its all ego..why care who they sleep with after you? Did you really care about the ones before you? These people are habits, nothing more, As i stated earlier true love doesn't end up broken, so move on and concentrate on finding it not wasting your heart on someone who threw you away. Be strong me Amigo's/Amiga's and don't give them any more power. NO CONTACT!!!! F*ck yeah! They may take our lives but they will never take our FREEDOM!!!
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