artdet Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 New to this forum. Just curious if any OW here met their MM online? And if so, what do you think of MM looking for A online? What's your MM like?
LilGirlandOW Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 No, never had any online contact with MM, he's not very "techy" that way, no social networking, or AM or anything like that. We met at work.
imbetteroff Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Yes, I met him on a sleazy website called AM.
Sarabi Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 No. Met at work... Hmmmm. Married Men looking for affairs online? All I can say is this...I don't understand relationships. At all
LilGirlandOW Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 yeah a MM actively seeking an AP is major cause for concern, many posters out there mentioned, heck most posters mentioned meeting then proceeding to get into an A with an A seeking MM. Trouble!! This is what worries me about Bentley's MM, cause I think Bentley's a good hearted person deserves more than that (not to Thread jack, just an example)
bentleychic Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 yeah a MM actively seeking an AP is major cause for concern, many posters out there mentioned, heck most posters mentioned meeting then proceeding to get into an A with an A seeking MM. Trouble!! This is what worries me about Bentley's MM, cause I think Bentley's a good hearted person deserves more than that (not to Thread jack, just an example) Can you clarify what you are talking about? You have me pretty confused by this.
bentleychic Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 To answer the question, I suppose we did technically "meet" on-line, but it wasn't with the intention of anything. We met on a message board for a hobby that we both shared. I was buying something from someone and he was as well. The seller was a good distance away from both of us and since he wanted them as well and we didn't live very far from each other, he offered to go buy them and then meet me in a public place (I *think* both of our spouses (at the time) were present for that meeting, if I'm not mistaken. I know his was.) to sell mine to me. Neither of us were seeking out partners or A's at all. It was a completely and totally innocent meeting original and didn't turn in to an A until we reconnected 4 years later. (Or was it 5? I honestly cannot remember!)
LilGirlandOW Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Can you clarify what you are talking about? You have me pretty confused by this. You mentioned previously 5yrs ago when you met your MM initially he asked you to start a PA, thats what i was referring to
randomwoman Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 I actually worked with the MM and he got a different job. We then took our relationship entirely online only. Which is weird I guess. I feel like I know two different versions, the person I worked with and an online version. We live within about 10 mins of each other but don't see each other.
bentleychic Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Aha. Must have been some confusion on that then or I didn't word it clearly originally (and if so, I apologize) b/c that was not upon our first meeting nor was it why we met. We initially met for completely innocuous reasons (which I believe I've also said multiple times and have described a bit more in detail above). He was not looking for an A with me when we met online nor was that the goal or intention for either of us. He did suggest it some time after we'd met and texted a bit, but that was never the reason for our initial meet b/c I would not have agreed to the meet, if so. I'm frustrated with myself for trying to explain this when I didn't even intend to reply to this topic to begin with. LOL I honestly wouldn't have if I didn't feel like you pulled me in to it b/c I do not feel like we met the way that the OP was inquiring about, but I do not want misconceptions about MM or the way that we met.
LilGirlandOW Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Hey no problem Bentley, it was on my thread "How did you get a deadline(Timeline)", you wrote: Your Quote: "We met over something totally innocuous 5 years ago (I met his wife at that time.). He originally approached me shortly after for a PA, but I refused him after a short time of texting contact/attention because I was trying to give my marriage another chance. I had absolutely no contact with him for four years after that." You just seem like such a good soul, thats all
bentleychic Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Okay. That's exactly what I said here, too. LOL Definitely not the first meeting nor why we met originally.
LilGirlandOW Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 . I'm frustrated with myself for trying to explain this when I didn't even intend to reply to this topic to begin with. LOL I honestly wouldn't have if I didn't feel like you pulled me in to it b/c I do not feel like we met the way that the OP was inquiring about, but I do not want misconceptions about MM or the way that we met. Wasnt trying to "pull" you into anything, its an example, and the only one I could think of right away of a good person being saught after by a MM for the purpose of a PA. OK you worded it wrong, but it was still your words, and still an example of a kind heart being saught out by a MM seeking PA, or at least thats how you wrote it, accidently or not... I didnt know it was an accident.
LilGirlandOW Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Okay. That's exactly what I said here, too. LOL Definitely not the first meeting nor why we met originally. Not saying it was, just saying he met you and sought you for a PA purpose, you refuse and reconnect 4 yrs later. Its related to OP's questions b/c your MM was seeking an AP, and when you reconnected it was online
bentleychic Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 The original post sounded like it was asking about meeting a MM online who was specifically seeking out an A. Which is why I wasn't going to answer. Again, because that is not the case for us. That was never why nor how we met. I said he approached me shortly after meeting (I don't even know how long it was, weeks, months, I really don't remember exactly), but I never said he originally saught me out looking for a PA b/c that would be a lie. That came after we met (again, for totally innocuous reasons, as I've said over and over), after we had met and talked a bit. Even reading what you've quoted me as saying, it doesn't say that he was seeking me out for a PA. *shrug*
bentleychic Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Sorry, OP, for derailing your thread. I now realize I should have not replied at all. Wish we could delete posts here. LOL
Author artdet Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the replies everyone. No worries Bentleychic. I met a MM online. He registers at different dating sites for single and married people, looking for an affair. He chats and flirts with multiple girls online, and of course dates and sleeps with whoever he can get. What I found out is that there are actually a lot of MM out there doing the same thing. I'm just wondering if this serial dating thing is common to most MM looking to hook up with OW. Ever heard of Colonel Saleh? A married man that dates like 50 women at the same time. I read that the reason MM can do this nowadays is because in the digital world, it is a lot easier for them to segregate multiple women, meaning keep these women apart and manage them so they don't know of each other's existence. I'm sure no OW ever want to be kept in the dark by these serial cheaters, but the internet is making these thing so easy for MM. Just wondering if anyone has similar experience/thoughts to share. Edited September 22, 2013 by artdet
lifelesson101 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I met my married man on line. Three months after he dumped me I got my head out of my ass enough to think clearly and search him. I found that he had profiles on no less than four free dating websites seeking an affair under the assumed names I knew of! We had a long term affair and I know he was not with anyone else during that time - but he sure had his options open. I was physically ill when I learned about all the profiles he's had posted - two of which were on that 'A.M.' site. I felt so stupid ... so insignificant -I literally vomited. If his wife only had a clue. . . .
browneyed Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 My MM was on a dating site posing as a single guy. I didn't find out he was married until 7 weeks into it. He deleted his profile very soon after we started talking so I don't think he had a rotation going. He was out to find one and get off the site and I was two hours away...not convenient. I was the only one as his W had both of us followed for 3weeks by PIs to catch us together and she confronted us with the PIs after dinner in my town.
Author artdet Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 I met my married man on line. Three months after he dumped me I got my head out of my ass enough to think clearly and search him. I found that he had profiles on no less than four free dating websites seeking an affair under the assumed names I knew of! We had a long term affair and I know he was not with anyone else during that time - but he sure had his options open. I was physically ill when I learned about all the profiles he's had posted - two of which were on that 'A.M.' site. I felt so stupid ... so insignificant -I literally vomited. If his wife only had a clue. . . . I'm so sorry. I would use a anonymous email and send all his profile links to his wife. For some reason the MM I met let his guard down, and I found out a lot sooner. I physically vomited, and honestly felt sorry for all the women he is chatting/flirting/dating that did not know the existence of each other. There are a lot of MM online that's doing the same thing. If you met your MM online, especially if you don't live in the same city, be aware that most probably he is doing what he's doing with you, also with a bunch of other women. Probe, observe and do not lose your head. Protect yourself, you don't want to give your heart to a man whore, and believe me they know how to get to you because of the abundant practice.
Author artdet Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 My MM was on a dating site posing as a single guy. I'm so sorry. But this is very typical. Statistics is that quarter of the men on online dating sites are MM posing as singles.
Pastypop Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 I would not try to contact the wife via email as she can trace the IP address on the email. Also, these MM like to keep mementos or trophies of their conquest. They almost always keep old emails, pictures and phone numbers of their conquests even if they swear up and down they deleted them. I think they do this so they can make sure they have someone to take down with them. These kind of men are just the lowest of the low. I met mine online and see his wife and kids at my kid's activities all the time. He has been with scores of women since me but, still I don't want her finding out about me. Hopefully if he gets busted, it will never become my problem
egalew Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Lifelessons - Your story sounds a bit like mine. I assumed I was the only one, because that's what he had been telling me. But two days after he dumped me, I busted him on CL, which made made me think he had been out there looking all the time. How did you bust him on the other sites?
lifelesson101 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Lifelessons - Your story sounds a bit like mine. I assumed I was the only one, because that's what he had been telling me. But two days after he dumped me, I busted him on CL, which made made me think he had been out there looking all the time. How did you bust him on the other sites? It is not rocket science to find their profiles if you know what nicknames they use. My guy used a nickname on the site where I met him - he also had the same nickname on A.M. - cheaters site, (that I won't name here). I did reverse searches on his bogus emails and found Twitter accounts he set up for him and other women. I went back to the A.M. Cheater's site and found a second profile, under a different nickname That I found out about while poking around. He was strictly advertising to have an affair. Even though I know he did not have another while with me, he was keeping his options open. I also went to my gynecologist and had myself tested for everytng go under the sun. Lord above only knows where he has been sticking it before me! I was physically sick - truly physically sick after what I had discovered to the point I threw up. I ache for his wife.
lifelesson101 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I would add to my response that I never busted him. I never confronted him about his other dating profiles. We were (are) in complete no contact. Once I got away from him, out of the affair and could actually think using my brain .... It just occurred to me, after the way he treated me, that he was probably lying though his teeth. And I was right! He is now his wife's problem. I am free to move on. I am think I am the lucky one here.
Recommended Posts