trappedheart Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Is there an upside to giving your AP a letter so that you can move on?? Or only downside? I don't want to go into detail here but I want to give her a letter that just kind of wraps up how I have felt about a co-worker (we're both married) and clear up a misunderstanding we had about six months ago. We had become extremely close over the past 3 years. We had a big misunderstanding and things just hit the rocks, we both overreacted to the situation. I have been extremely sad off and on for some time since then, she meant a lot to me. I tried half-heartedly to stay in touch with her and she ignored me for quite some time until last month. She has reached out on a couple of occasions. I am now at point where I need to move on, I still think about her a lot but I realize that the relationship and her would not be positive for me any longer. I can keep doing NC, I've been doing it for past 6 weeks. I don't want to rekindle anything because I don't want to go down that road again. But this letter, that I have already written, is just sitting there, reminding me of what is lost. It's the last thing that basically reminds me of her. Symbolic in a way, I still have a hard time letting go. What should I do?? Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
oliviah Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 If you are serious about ending it...give her the letter. Closure is a very painful gift. If you think there is hope, I would not. The most painful thing for a MM to do is to consider the AP plan B so if you are done, give it to her. 1
Author trappedheart Posted September 21, 2013 Author Posted September 21, 2013 If you are serious about ending it...give her the letter. Closure is a very painful gift. If you think there is hope, I would not. The most painful thing for a MM to do is to consider the AP plan B so if you are done, give it to her. Thanks Olivia. I like your perspective. For me to still feel this way so many months later just shows me how much I cared for her. It is incredibly difficult to let go.
oliviah Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Can't let go, I know it was so real....more so than any other relationship in my life. I have maintained a professional relationship but just can't tell where he is. Painful.
AlwaysGrowing Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Closure is overrated. Best closure....is closing the door. And keeping it closed. 3
Ladydrib Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Is there an upside to giving your AP a letter so that you can move on?? Or only downside? I don't want to go into detail here but I want to give her a letter that just kind of wraps up how I have felt about a co-worker (we're both married) and clear up a misunderstanding we had about six months ago. We had become extremely close over the past 3 years. We had a big misunderstanding and things just hit the rocks, we both overreacted to the situation. I have been extremely sad off and on for some time since then, she meant a lot to me. I tried half-heartedly to stay in touch with her and she ignored me for quite some time until last month. She has reached out on a couple of occasions. I am now at point where I need to move on, I still think about her a lot but I realize that the relationship and her would not be positive for me any longer. I can keep doing NC, I've been doing it for past 6 weeks. I don't want to rekindle anything because I don't want to go down that road again. But this letter, that I have already written, is just sitting there, reminding me of what is lost. It's the last thing that basically reminds me of her. Symbolic in a way, I still have a hard time letting go. What should I do?? Any thoughts would be much appreciated. She may hope that you will come back and be with her in a proper relationship. If you have any communication with her it will give her false hopes. If you have no interest in being with her you need to let it go. Do not contact her for any reason. Let it go.
Author trappedheart Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 My letter says that I got too close by I don't explicitly close the door, i am not sure it is necessary in our situation. Thank you for your replies!
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