May72 Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 So it's almost 2 months NC. I feel like I'm getting better, no more crying, feeling more confident. What kept me going was accepting the fact that he's out of my life for good and even though we live in a small city, we won't be running into each other because we never ran into each other unexpectedly the 4 years that we were together. BUT, recently everything seems to point otherwise. I ran into his younger sister and mom at a middle school my sister is attending for the first time. Our sisters are the same age which means I'm eventually going to see him again when graduation comes around. And it doesn't help that the sister and the mom was staring right at me when they saw me. To make it even worse, I'm starting a new job and found out that not only is his BEST friend working at the same place, but is also going to be on my team. And lastly, one of my friends told me that my ex posted on FB 2 weeks ago saying, "Looking at all these pictures have me feeling nostalgic. Memories are all that is left.." I assume the pictures he were looking at was of us because he never took any pictures with his friends, let alone his exes. The only pictures he ever took was of us. A mutual friend also told me that lately he has been throwing himself into school and work a lot, seems to be distracting himself. With all this said, my heart and mind is at battle. I thought I was moving on, but every time I do something happens that pulls me back to hoping. I can't hold onto the thought that I'll never see him again (which was helping me move on). I understand the hesitance to be the first to contact and vice versa because a lot of hurtful things were said the last time we talked. I feel like I should leave it alone, but at the same time I don't want to risk moving on if he secretly wants to be back together but was afraid he messed it all up. What do you guys think?
deni9 Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 What is the reason you broke up in the first place? if it was for a stupid reason, (like argument)and you guys still have strong feelings for eachother then fix it. But if he did something to disrespect you or you respect him and trust has gone, then its much more better to just move on. Its hard to fix trust, it can be done, but a lot of effort for both of you guys. I wish you were more specific on what happen between you guys. maybe you can clarify it more?
Author May72 Posted September 21, 2013 Author Posted September 21, 2013 What is the reason you broke up in the first place? if it was for a stupid reason, (like argument)and you guys still have strong feelings for eachother then fix it. But if he did something to disrespect you or you respect him and trust has gone, then its much more better to just move on. Its hard to fix trust, it can be done, but a lot of effort for both of you guys. I wish you were more specific on what happen between you guys. maybe you can clarify it more? He was becoming more distant and less affectionate. I really tried to get him to open up to me if there was anything wrong but he blamed work for the reason why he didn't feel like being affectionate when he's with me. He initially wanted to break up to "find himself" and get his life together. He swore he'd come back to me when things are in order and that there's no girls involved. However I found out that as soon as we broke up, he was back to normal again. Work was not the reason for him being "tired" and emotionless. And he've tried to get with other girls while still claiming that he still love me and want to be with me when things are "in order." When I told him I know the truth, he repeatedly denied and turned it around on me, saying that it's a permanent breakup now because I won't give him space.
unexpectedlyhere Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Haven't read the second post, but: don't read anything into the nostalgia. My ex has always been very clear that it is over for him and that he doesn't want to get back together, but he has said it was difficult to be reminded about the good times, has cried over them being over, has said that he misses me. These are all natural feelings of loss. It doesn't mean he wants to get back together. It just means he cared of you at some point whilst he was with you.
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