Any "Others" scared of the BS?

[waytogo]

I wonder this myself, I think it's on topic, as it has to do with fearing the BS and possible outcome of BS revenge, cheers@!

 

Thanks lady

 

That one caught my curiosity, I try not to divert the subject to far from the topic

[bentleychic]

Part of my work involves surveying hitmen who are currently incarcerated. I think an OW would have to be stupid not to be afraid of me. I'm not a violent or aggressive person, and I would never in a million years even allow myself to entertain those thoughts. I wouldn't allow myself to get into that position. I value my own life and future far too much.

 

That being said, I can't say the say the same for all people who are betrayed. Violence does happen, even if it's uncommon.

 

Now YOU I am afraid of.

[bentleychic]

And as to your last statement, it seems to ME that OW never accept their part..They enter(and sometimes aggressively pursue) known married men, and then when it doesnt work out in their favor, its everyone else's fault but their's..Its like they smack a hornets next and then when they get stung..For this Ill never understand. IMO, they(not all), display some of the most childish and selfish behavior I have ever seen/read..

 

 

As for OW/OM..They played the game...they knew what they were doing..if they lose..they need to just put their big girl/guy pants on and deal with it...

 

 

The BS has the only gripe...They are the ones that didnt have a choice or say so....

 

 

TFY

 

A lot of incorrect and untrue generalizations in that post.

[cocorico]

Scared of BS showing up at your door wanting some kind of physical revenge? Or possibly of BS exposing you as a mistress(OM?) to your community, work, SO?

 

Like that show cheaters where buddy drives BS up to WS/AP's dates and they have it out like jerry springer.

 

Any AP's scared of what the BS may do to you? Or any xAP's have a crazy run-in with the BS?

 

On the flip side, any BS's go ape-shyte on the AP?

 

There was nothing she could have done to me. There was more chance of her doing something awful to my lover, or herself.

[Sarabi]

If she showed up and she wants an explanation it would be fine. I don't mind. If she wants to beat me up/kill me/run me over that is also fine.

I doubt she would though...

I would have spoken to her...but in truth, a big part of me just couldn't be bothered because I honestly don't think she would listen or want to know. Why would she? She is so dependent on this man that why would she believe a perfect stranger...especially when said man is probably doing all he can to bad mouth said stranger (because remember he was such a victim at the hands of me, the evil seductress).

Am I scared of her? No. I doubt she herself is scared of me.

As long as she has her man and family and he has eyes for no one but her, I doubt she is bothered about anything else.

[Goodbye]

Hell hath no fury.....Mine would have buried her(OW) ass...

 

 

TFY

 

 

Maybe not...after all, you are alive and well.

[ArtsAndCrafts]

I'm scared of her, but not physically. I'm scared of her legally. My state is one of the few that still allows the BS to sue for alienation of affection and criminal conversation. My man moved out 2.5 months after we fell for each other, and a couple of months later we transitioned from a secret relationship to an understated but unhidden dating relationship. However, we later found out that she had evidence of our affair. My state also requires a 12 month separation period. She had originally agreed to back date the filing so they could divorce after 6 months, but she changed her mind. If she'd back dated it, she would've been stating that they were separated when he & I began seeing each other, which means she would lose the ability to sue me. I'm afraid THAT is her reason for changing her mind & refusing to back date the filing.

 

So now she has just over 2 years until the statute of limitations runs out. She has told him that she will not sue or ask him for more $$ and will just divorce when the 12 month period is up. But I'm not convinced, and I don't think I'll rest easy until the statute of limitations runs out.

[ForeverHopeful1]

If my H or the man I love had been seeing another woman' date=' god help her. I am a passionate woman, and she would have felt my wrath. BS on the other hand, she is a different unfathomable creature, cool even cold..... certainly I am not scared of her. I have called her and spoken to her and she does nothing to end our relationship. I think she just does not care as long as everything ticks over. If she had just called me, I could have understood it. But she does absolutely nothing. Since d day a year ago, I seriously want to ask her "what do you want out of your life" Why don't you answer the phone??? I would have talked to her several times by now. If she was being gaslighted, wouldn't she like to hear my side? I can only conclude that she does not love him. But why stay together? Now MM is living a single existence in a fake marriage in misery and limbo.[/quote']

 

So, he is living in misery by choice? Why is the onus on her to end it? Why cant he leave to come and be with you? Your post sounds silly to me. It isnt ok for anyone to cheat on you but youre a willing participant in an affair and willing to help someone else be ufaithful? It just not ok to do it to you. With you, is fine though.

[thefooloftheyear]

Maybe not...after all, you are alive and well.

 

You dont know her like i do...I hurt her and she was sad more than angry at me-and rightfully so....Her(OW)? She doesnt know her from Adam, has no history with her, and wouldnt think twice about putting her face through a wall....

 

It may not be right or rational...but then what is when it comes to this crap?

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

A lot of incorrect and untrue generalizations in that post.

 

 

Rather than just say there are incorrect and untrue gemeralizations, why dont you go ahead and let us know what they are?

 

TFY

[underwater2010]

Eh, I think it's childish to stalk people. And it's illegal to physically threaten or attack them, not to mention it makes that abuser look pathetic. There is not another person in this world that is worth lowering yourself to that level for - not a lover/SO anyway. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that people are willing to go to such childish extremes all because someone was dishonest with them or chose someone else. I understand being hurt, mad, etc., but becoming assaultive or acting unstable or unhinged? Not understandable and not acceptable for anyone involved in these triangles, not even the BS (no matter how much some try to say that it is their "right", it's not anyone's right just because they were scorned, and that's a very childish way to look at adult relationships).

 

I have no fear of anyone physically because I shouldn't have. Someone having an affair on you does not justify physical assault of any form, nor does it justify (or make it understandable or acceptable) to stalk them or trespass on their property. Your reaction has to fit the crime. Have an affair with THEIR spouse, or SO. They did not physically attack you, they didn't trespass on your property, they didn't stalk you - they simply loved your spouse/SO. Yes, the BS was hurt by that, but unless you can "hurt" them in the same way, you are severely over reacting.

The as truth is when you crap on someone you never know what their reaction is going to be. DO NOT underestimate what the pain of infedility will make someone do.

[bentleychic]

Rather than just say there are incorrect and untrue gemeralizations, why dont you go ahead and let us know what they are?

 

TFY

And as to your last statement, it seems to ME that OW never accept their part..They enter(and sometimes aggressively pursue) known married men, and then when it doesnt work out in their favor, its everyone else's fault but their's..Its like they smack a hornets next and then when they get stung..For this Ill never understand.

 

Lumping all OW in to that is ridiculous. There are many OW here alone who fully accept their part in it. (Not all, of course, but many.)

[janedoe67]

You, her BS were her problem, not so much the OW.

 

I am not sure what I can say to this that won;t violate all kinds of TOS.

 

And I am a FWW and FOW.

 

I may be sick now.

 

Really?????? Invade a person's marriage while they are unaware and THEY are the problem.

 

That explains a lot.

[TheOW]

Was not physically scared of her as I have been doing martial arts for years but I could handle the physical side much better than terrifying fear of being caught, family's/friends/gossips the town etc etc. it was hell and I bore the front of it (that's just how it goes for women, we turn on each other too easily) anyways she still looks at me like I'm the devil reincarnated which you cannot judge her for. Do I regret my A and ripping 2 family's apart ? Tough question I don't regret knowing him but I regret the pain and hurt to our family's not our pain as we deserved it. They are still together and seem happy enough and I can't lie and say I'm happy for them because deep down I'm still struggling with it all, I don't want him back nor have any wish to start the A again as for him .... The way he looks at me says it all so I try and keep my distance.

[Goodbye]

The as truth is when you crap on someone you never know what their reaction is going to be. DO NOT underestimate what the pain of infedility will make someone do.

 

 

And do you feel that the "Pain of infidelity" justifies acting with violence?

[TheOW]

And do you feel that the "Pain of infidelity" justifies acting with violence?

 

Tough question this but I feel it does, your heart has been torn to shreds ur world has collapsed and the anger no doubt consumes you, even people who are not violent May experience immense amounts of anger and hatred that they lash out.

[thefooloftheyear]

Tough question this but I feel it does, your heart has been torn to shreds ur world has collapsed and the anger no doubt consumes you, even people who are not violent May experience immense amounts of anger and hatred that they lash out.

 

 

People take a baseball bat to the skull for such trivial things as getting cut off in the road..Yet, some think that another person wouldnt be angry enough to resort to physicel violence for something thats far more egregious.??

 

TFY

[underwater2010]

Do I think it should no. Did I attack his AP...no. But then again we have never seen each other face to face. Do I think that after all this time has passed I could control myself...I would hope so. But I will tell you in my case, her prior record and absolute disregard forum family and her own still pisses me off and I sure I would not react I'm a classy manner.

[janedoe67]

And do you feel that the "Pain of infidelity" justifies acting with violence?

 

 

I don't. Do YOU think an unhappy husband or wife justifies an outsider invading the marriage and screwing them? Do YOU think a BS who is portrayed negatively (which would be hearsay) by the WS deserves to have another man or woman steal from them?

[MissBee]

I don't. Do YOU think an unhappy husband or wife justifies an outsider invading the marriage and screwing them? Do YOU think a BS who is portrayed negatively (which would be hearsay) by the WS deserves to have another man or woman steal from them?

 

I think it's always interesting when questions about justice and ethics and the right thing come into play in the A scenario or its aftermath, esp from those involved in the cheating. (Goodbye, I'm not talking about your post btw, just a general thing I've noticed which it reminds me of).

 

An A is unethical in and of itself and is the FIRST offense, so once you step into that arena, expect anything! If you don't think it's a problem to be with a MP who is cheating and they don't see the problem with cheating, and add other elements like going to the unaware BSs house and into their bed, hanging with their children and other things...then why would you expect them to be more ethical and considerate than you are??? This makes no sense.

 

If you feel what you're doing is fine or you don't care, then do you. But also understand that this other person will do them and act in a manner they feel is justified or may act purely on emotion. The law has the last word on what's justified, but at the end of the day, if you get involved in an unethical situation to begin with and put yourself in the line of fire, so to speak, you don't also get to be the referee and you don't get to say how the other person should act. Clearly, in the case of an affair, what people should do and ought to do doesn't always occur, or else they'd not be in an affair....so all the shoulds and ought to in terms of how the BS should respond also doesn't matter and is a little hypocritical.

[thefooloftheyear]

I have first hand experience around very volatile women..Having grown up my entire life around NYC born and raised Italian women I can tell you they are some of the most fearless and obstinate people to ever walk the earth..Loyal when they are on your side, but cross them and you are in a world of shyt.

 

They should round up a bunch of them and send them to Afghanistan. We'd end that conflict in 3 days with no casualties.

 

TFY

Edited September 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[HopingAgain]

On Dday, with the shock of just finding out and hearing my WH and ExOW talk and make out I went to the house where they were with full intentions on destroying both of them. I was going to go ape sh.. on OW first only because I knew my access to her would be limited and I'd have had plenty of opportunity to rip into WH later. Luckily for all of us he was passed out drunk when I arrived and she was gone or else I would have surely been incarcerated.

[waterwoman]

Good Lord, I'm about as scary as a teddy bear! OW's BH however is a very scary man indeed, hence my not telling him

[brittanyanderson]

On our DDay BS was absolutely livid, and did try to put her hands on me, but he stopped her. Just thinking about the look in her eyes...she was going crazy. In that moment I was definitely scared of her.

[janedoe67]

 

Actually this SHOULD read:

 

She reacted with pain to the INTENTIONAL hurt her WH CHOSE to inflict on her and their children when he invited another woman into the marriage and the other woman happily accepted said invitation.

 

Just wanted to fix that for ya