Any "Others" scared of the BS?

[LilGirlandOW]

Scared of BS showing up at your door wanting some kind of physical revenge? Or possibly of BS exposing you as a mistress(OM?) to your community, work, SO?

 

Like that show cheaters where buddy drives BS up to WS/AP's dates and they have it out like jerry springer.

 

Any AP's scared of what the BS may do to you? Or any xAP's have a crazy run-in with the BS?

 

On the flip side, any BS's go ape-shyte on the AP?

[KentuckyGent]

Nope, not scared a bit. In fact I want to tell him and am having to fight myself not to.

[WrinkledForehead]

Not scared of her in that sense, but on the occasion I do panic at the thought of possibly running into her in public. She'd not know me, and it hasn't happened yet, but the worry of it creeps in sometimes.

[Goodbye]

Uhm no. The BS in my case is not some trailer trash who'd do such a thing. And neither am I.

[MissBee]

At the time, no. Mainly too because we were worlds apart.

[randomwoman]

No, I'm not afraid. I feel we will both take it to our graves.

 

If she did find out, I don't think she is passionate enough to react, she'd probably just either leave him or ignore it and pretend it never happened.She's very much in control of her emotions and I envy that about her.

[Got it]

No and No.

[lilmisscantbewrong]

Not afraid at all.

[cif]

I must be a coward but yes judging from her emails to me i'm afraid physically and alsowhat she could/would do to my rep... Not that i knowingly did anything wrong but she seems like the type to not care . And i hate confrontation so may appear weak.

 

What about you lil afraid of your COP bs? I would be

[lifelesson101]

I am not afraid. We will all take this to our graves. She is very high-profile in their local community. I think she would die before she would let it get get out that her husband had cheated on her. In fact, none of us want this out. Ever.

[LilGirlandOW]

I must be a coward but yes judging from her emails to me i'm afraid physically and alsowhat she could/would do to my rep... Not that i knowingly did anything wrong but she seems like the type to not care . And i hate confrontation so may appear weak.

 

What about you lil afraid of your COP bs? I would be

 

Not in the least,

 

Although I remember back before EA MM would joke about in reference to other things about how BS is good with a gun, Although I doubt she'd use it on me.. then again ya never know right

[Calcmag]

I wasn't scared of her at all.

 

And I certainly wasn't afraid of the result of being 'outed' in the community or at my job. I was a MW cheating with a MM. If the truth came out there would be consequences and I would face them. Reminds me of that saying about not doing the crime if you cant do the time.

 

I was scared of BH finding out though. Although he has a hot temper, he'd never been violent during our M but I think the revelation of an A would have pushed him over the edge. So I was afraid for my safety in that regard.

[bentleychic]

No. I've met her and I don't believe she is that kind of person. Mm has confirmed that. She is also very big on appearance and I don't think she would want it to be public knowledge if she found out. With that said, she may surprise all of us and, if so, that's her

right.

[thefooloftheyear]

Hell hath no fury.....Mine would have buried her(OW) ass...

 

 

TFY

[Calcmag]

Hell hath no fury.....Mine would have buried her(OW) ass...

 

 

TFY

 

That's a dumb reaction really. You, her BS were her problem, not so much the OW. If it hadn't been that particular OW, it would have been another.

I wonder if she would have 'buried' your ass too if you were caught? Were you caught? And did she?

 

The worst misogny tends to be displayed in the area of affairs. So often it's the OW's 'fault' that the 'poor' guy couldn't control his urges, and the OW tends to be the one reviled -and more - for the affair. Men are still seen by many people as somehow helpless when it comes to controlling their sexual desires.

Plus we have the WHs who often lie to tell outright lies about the BW being psycho, or unstable or frigid or whatever.

 

Seems to me so often, it's the women, on both sides, are still the ones taking the blame.

[ComingInHot]

Maybe not so much "fear" the BS, rather maybe Fear what consequences may potentially come the way of OW via BS or Work Or WS or Family or friends or self...

*

[thefooloftheyear]

That's a dumb reaction really. You, her BS were her problem, not so much the OW. If it hadn't been that particular OW, it would have been another.

I wonder if she would have 'buried' your ass too if you were caught? Were you caught? And did she?

 

The worst misogny tends to be displayed in the area of affairs. So often it's the OW's 'fault' that the 'poor' guy couldn't control his urges, and the OW tends to be the one reviled -and more - for the affair. Men are still seen by many people as somehow helpless when it comes to controlling their sexual desires.

Plus we have the WHs who often lie to tell outright lies about the BW being psycho, or unstable or frigid or whatever.

 

Seems to me so often, it's the women, on both sides, are still the ones taking the blame.

 

 

Uhhm...

 

I owned my part 100% and told my BS everything..Every detail..It was the biggest mistake of my life..And I was already in mid divorce., so I dont know what the hell you are talking about..Of course she wasnt happy about it, but you know nothing of my situation, so its best to not make ASSumptions.

 

And yes, if she dared confront my w she would have had more than she ever dreamed of..It wouldnt have been pretty.

 

And as to your last statement, it seems to ME that OW never accept their part..They enter(and sometimes aggressively pursue) known married men, and then when it doesnt work out in their favor, its everyone else's fault but their's..Its like they smack a hornets next and then when they get stung..For this Ill never understand. IMO, they(not all), display some of the most childish and selfish behavior I have ever seen/read..

 

 

As for OW/OM..They played the game...they knew what they were doing..if they lose..they need to just put their big girl/guy pants on and deal with it...

 

 

The BS has the only gripe...They are the ones that didnt have a choice or say so....

 

 

TFY

Edited September 21, 2013 by thefooloftheyear

[solostand]

I have no doubt if the wife found out she would show up at my door and warn me to stay away from her man. She would fight for him.

 

I know this because he told me he has never had an emotional, physical love affair before, and he feels way out of his element. However, he did have a ONS once and his wife found the number in his phone, found out who she was, and went to her house.

 

So I have no doubt that if she found out that her husband is in love with me and has been having an emotional and physical affair with me for one year, she would certainly try to run me off.

 

I would tell her she has come to the wrong place - she needs to discuss this with her husband.

[waytogo]

I must be a coward but yes judging from her emails to me i'm afraid physically and alsowhat she could/would do to my rep... Not that i knowingly did anything wrong but she seems like the type to not care . And i hate confrontation so may appear weak.

 

What about you lil afraid of your COP bs? I would be

 

Sorry Lil for the TJ

 

Cif, BW emails you? Does this mean she knows you are OW?

[LilGirlandOW]

Sorry Lil for the TJ

 

Cif, BW emails you? Does this mean she knows you are OW?

 

I wonder this myself, I think it's on topic, as it has to do with fearing the BS and possible outcome of BS revenge, cheers@!

[rae_lana]

That's a dumb reaction really. You, her BS were her problem, not so much the OW. If it hadn't been that particular OW, it would have been another.

I wonder if she would have 'buried' your ass too if you were caught? Were you caught? And did she?

 

The worst misogny tends to be displayed in the area of affairs. So often it's the OW's 'fault' that the 'poor' guy couldn't control his urges, and the OW tends to be the one reviled -and more - for the affair. Men are still seen by many people as somehow helpless when it comes to controlling their sexual desires.

Plus we have the WHs who often lie to tell outright lies about the BW being psycho, or unstable or frigid or whatever.

 

Seems to me so often, it's the women, on both sides, are still the ones taking the blame.

 

It depends who the other woman is.. In my case.. I would get all the blame no matter how strongly he persued me because, I'm her friend, and I'm the woman.. I would get the blame from both her and my husband I know I would. I think they would both be well aware it was him as the aggressor but I'd still get the blame because "I should know better"

[LilGirlandOW]

It depends who the other woman is.. In my case.. I would get all the blame no matter how strongly he persued me because, I'm her friend, and I'm the woman.. I would get the blame from both her and my husband I know I would. I think they would both be well aware it was him as the aggressor but I'd still get the blame because "I should know better"

 

Would your H be afraid of the OM? I was seperated for 8mnths, xH had 2 quick relationships in that time, when he found out about MM (didnt know the married part, just that he's a man with me), my xH went nuts and wanted to kill him.

 

Like the whole machismo part of the thought of a OM plowing his W might suprise you how he reacts. Unless your H likes to be cuckholded.

[threelaurels]

Part of my work involves surveying hitmen who are currently incarcerated. I think an OW would have to be stupid not to be afraid of me. I'm not a violent or aggressive person, and I would never in a million years even allow myself to entertain those thoughts. I wouldn't allow myself to get into that position. I value my own life and future far too much.

 

That being said, I can't say the say the same for all people who are betrayed. Violence does happen, even if it's uncommon.

[Red Wolverine]

No fear here. We had a dignified conversation about the affair.

 

She's a mother and so am I. Anything violent would have been detrimental to our children.

 

No one is worth that.

[JourneyLady]

Scared of BS showing up at your door wanting some kind of physical revenge? Or possibly of BS exposing you as a mistress(OM?) to your community, work, SO?

 

Like that show cheaters where buddy drives BS up to WS/AP's dates and they have it out like jerry springer.

 

Any AP's scared of what the BS may do to you? Or any xAP's have a crazy run-in with the BS?

 

On the flip side, any BS's go ape-shyte on the AP?

 

No, as the BS I stalked her a little bit - found out age, name, what she looked like (eventually), who she was married to before - stuff like that. I was glad to finally know what she looked like because I didn't like the possibility of running into her and not knowing it.

 

She was DEATHLY afraid of me. Was very mad at my ex for telling me her name, for one thing. I tried to be friends for the sake of my daughter and grandkids, but she immediately turned that off as well. I know she doesn't like him emailing with me about family matters...

 

I peek in once in awhile just to see if they are still married - it doesn't say. Their status isn't "public" on FB. I've never "gone after" anyone that way; I don't think I'm capable of it. I'm far away now, so she really doesn't have a place in my life anymore. I get to be where the grandkids are now. :-)