1 Week NC. Struggling but I've done 9 months NC before so I'll be ok

[Beatrixx]

This 1 week NC has gone by so slow... *sigh*

 

I'm just frustrated really because I was 9 months NC back in July. I was so proud of myself.

 

He basically begged me to get back together with him in July, said he wanted to give us another try. He seemed so genuine, but it turned out he never changed and we broke up again for the exact same reason as before (communication and compatibility issues, him neglecting me, not meeting my needs).

 

I broke up with him 1 week ago, and it was so hard. He accepted it really easy too. Didn't even fight for me. Oh well. He told me not to disappear though - said he loved having me in his life. Well sorry darling but I'm doing NC.

 

I'm still in love with him - I still am and I still was during those 9 months of NC. I never had eyes for and never slept with another man. But although my heart loves him, my gut instinct was crying out to me - warning me he isn't the one.

 

These dreams I've been having about him every night since the BU haven't made it easier either. The one I had last night felt so real. We were still together but he was moving to another country (something he said he wanted to do one day - he is the ambitious/adventurous type. It never bothered me though as I don't intend to stay in the same country forever either). Hmmm.... I hope they stop soon.

 

I can't help wonder how he is doing. I've forced myself to not look at any of his social media websites. No way am I looking at his Instagram. I might see something that will hurt me. He's blocked on Facebook too. And I've deleted his number. But I wonder, is he thinking about me? Has he moved on yet? Why didn't he fight for me? Why did he compromise with me/stay in touch more considering he was so eager to get back together with me and give us a second try? Why go from so eager to so distant in 2 months? Maybe I just made it too easy for him to get back with me... maybe I should have made it harder. Oh well. It's done now. NC all over again. I will reach 9 months again. I've done it before.

[cavalier99]

You sound really strong! youll be fine. this guy obviously isnt for you. i understand you questioning things but relationships shouldnt be that hard. this is for the best. stay NC....this time for good...and recover. Rock on! Cav

[GTNBTTR]

As time goes on NC will become easier. You will be at 9 months again before you know it.