gwennebe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Sunday night (It is now Tuesday) I went out on ANOTHER first date in my new town. I have been here going on 8 months now. This guy seemed great. He acted like he was interested, went overboard telling me he was interested but hasn't called yet. He even made plans with me for Monday for dinner and didn't even call to cancel them. This is the 6 date I have been on and things haven't worked out. Some of the dates I decided I wasn't interested again so I can understand just not having a conncection but why go to the trouble acting interested if you really are not? Why schedule another date for the next night? I know it was probably because I wouldn't put out. I swear I'm moving back home. He tried putting the moves on me and I told him it wasn't going to happen so that makes me believe he just wanted a piece. The thing is ALL of the guys I meet just want a piece and I don't understand!!! I don't feel like I'm giving off the wrong vibe. I was dressed nicely. No major skin showing no too tight clothes, I didn't drink. I don't think I hinted that I would be interested in only having sex. I am so very very angry at the world today!!!!!!!!! I am now after this last time so afraid of going out on a date again for fear of the same thing. They probably just want sex and that's all they are looking for so why accept a date with anyone? I'm so tired of giving eveyone the benefit of the doubt and they still still still end up being all alike.
tattoomytoe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 you gotta go through some duds to get to the firecracker! unfortunately they are duds for random, sometimes insanely crazy reasons. at least you got a free meal...and the chance to weed out some more men in the new town.....6 down!
alphamale Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 So then had none of these dudes put the "moves" on you would you have been happier? You would just have thought they are not interested. Did these guys come out and say they wanted sex? Usually when a man puts the "moves" on a woman he is testing her to see how interested she is in him overall. Putting the "moves" on a woman does NOT mean he wants to sleep with you that night, he may want to sleep with you down the road and wants to see if you are even mildly receptive now. Also, please consider age range. If these men are under 30 you can pretty much rest assured they are immature horn-dogs. Only date men 30+. Men, like fine wine, get better with age.
Author gwennebe Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 Well he made it perfectly clear he wanted sex. As did the rest of them. I think it's a very scary thought to have sex with someone the first day you meet them and it disgusts me. This guy was 30 and another one I dated was 32 the rest were my age 25 or 26. Why do guys have to pout and make you feel pressured to have sex!! I thought things got easier the older you get. I never never ever ever had this kind of trouble in High School.
alphamale Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by gwennebe Well he made it perfectly clear he wanted sex. As did the rest of them. Why do guys have to pout and make you feel pressured to have sex!! I thought things got easier the older you get. I never never ever ever had this kind of trouble in High School. Gwenbe: You are picking out the WRONG guys to date sweetie. Better look at your selection process a little bit better. - where do you meet these guys? - are they educated professionals? - do they have a car and a good job? - do they have a criminal or abusive past? - do they come from a good family or background? - do they respect women or not?
Queen B Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Finding men is like shopping I think...when you know what you want...you can never find it... So true about the duds though...you have to go through a lot before you find a good one...I'd say I went about a year trying to find a keeper and nothing ever worked out but sex wasn't the problem I love sex and if things were going well, I would put out (protection of course!). I guess all I'm saying is that if it wasn't the different opinions about when to have sex in a relationship that made your guys duds, then it would have likely been something else...the way he chews, the puffy shirts he wears, the way he ALWAYS answers his phone when you're together-even in the movie theatre, his incredibly crappy shoes, his really annoying friends...you get the picture. That being said I don't think it's cool to pressure people to have sex...but I've mistakenly thought guys were into sex and boy did I feel bad..as a rule I didn't have the guts to talk to them again cause I assumed they thought I was a total idiot. Don't give up hope...just keep trying cause Tattoomytoe is right, you get a free meal maybe some good convo and you don't have to do the dishes...
moimeme Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 Finding men is like shopping I think...when you know what you want...you can never find it... ROTFL!!! Wise words indeed
JackieQ Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 Originally posted by Queen B Finding men is like shopping I think...when you know what you want...you can never find it... Truer words never were spoken...damn it gets old tryin' em all on though...
johan Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 Finding men is like shopping I think...when you know what you want...you can never find it... Sure. When do women ever know what they want? Oh except for "I want you to read my mind." That IS hard to find.
Queen B Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 Originally posted by johan Sure. When do women ever know what they want? Oh except for "I want you to read my mind." That IS hard to find. I think that's a bit of a false assumption that implies that women can't think for themselves or are completely unreasonable...not cool
johan Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 I think that's a bit of a false assumption that implies that women can't think for themselves or are completely unreasonable...not cool Forgive me. I didn't any little smiley icons.
DacaInaru Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 I can relate to your frustration. I have now taken to telling guys before we even go out on the first date that I do not have sex. Usually the guy will bow out.. but I actually had one professional older guy who was a lawyer say to me fine you won't have sex how about a blow job... when I said no .. he went on and said.. okay.. so what if we just have phone sex.. again I said no way.. and he went on the guy didn't know when to give up.. Finally he said well then you must be a "man hater" or a "lesbian" which one is it.. I calmly responded the only thing I am is respectful of myself and my body.. and hung up.. thing is this guy actually continued to try to call me.. leaving messages in attempt to convince me to have sex.. sometimes guys suck.. no offense to the good guys out there.
Author gwennebe Posted November 24, 2004 Author Posted November 24, 2004 Most of the guys I've dated seemed to be good guys. It seems the more educated and well off they are the worse they treat woman. I hate guys that act like they are doing us a favor by going out with us. It should be about mutual respect. I always end up with the ones that will tell you anything to sleep with you and then you never hear from them again. Not that I slept with all of them and I'm glad I didn't cause I never heard from them again. It's always the ones I'm interested in too. The ones that are nice I don't like. No chemistry.
tattoomytoe Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 do you go to church? that may be a good start. there are a few churches that even have singles events through the church.
Queen B Posted November 24, 2004 Posted November 24, 2004 Originally posted by DacaInaru Finally he said well then you must be a "man hater" or a "lesbian" which one is it.. I HATE it when guys do this... a. It's like they can't possibly understand that anyone could resist them, god's gift to women. b. They think they can actually shame someone into having sex by calling them a lesbian... I mean c'mon how charming is THAT!? I think you gavce the right answer...I might have said something to the effect of..."No I love men but I make it a rule not to sleep with arrogant a**holes"...but then again I tend to be a little extreme and dramatic Tattoomytoe has a great idea...try the curch if you're into that sort of thing. Hey here's another idea...try for daytime dates...I find there's a little less sex in the air during the day = less pressure and you always have an excuse to skip out (without the walk/drive home awkwardness) by saying you have something to do later in the afternoon. I used to do a lot of breakfast/brunch dates...and then go home to study for school or go to the gym or go spend time with my family.
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